Yes, it does.*

The other day, I posted this pic to one of their MySpace pages:






*The Orange County Register is the most retarded newspaper on the planet. Really, it is.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Fuck Hooters.  Their beer selection sucks, their pitchers are small and probably watered down, and their food is comparable to a really good Applebees, which is to say it's mediocre at best.

The real reason not to go to Hooters, though, is the fucking waitresses.  They will SIT DOWN AT YOUR FUCKING TABLE to take your order.  They try to TALK TO YOU.

Look, honey, I'm fucking hungry.  Bring Me My fucking cheeseburger and beer and shut your whore mouth.

Dammit, hussy!  I'm trying to watch God Damned Wrestlemania, because this is sure the fuck cheaper than buying the PPV.  Get your fake plastic tits soaked in orange spray-on tanner out of My fucking face and BRING ME MY FUCKING NACHOS!  SHUT UP!  SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Hooters fucking sucks.

People actually go to these places?

I'm not knocking the boobage, it is the outfits, decor and food that bother me.  The Boobage is fine, thanx.

Dmtdust wrote:

People actually go to these places?

I go to the Hooters in Singapore when I'm there, mostly because the veranda has a brilliant view of the river an the beer is ice, ice cold.

Won't go here though....

To each their own.  When I eat out, I want my waitron to be clean and efficient, and if necessary, able to answer questions about the menu items.  It’s nice if the waitron is in college or has something else worthwhile going on in their life away from work, but I don’t want them to sit down at the table and discuss it.  I would prefer the waitron not lower themselves to flirting with me for a better tip because I see that as degrading for both of us.  We both know the waitron would never seriously consider a bit of financially uncompensated sexual congress with someone old enough to be their father or grandfather; porn lit to the contrary, very few young people are overcome with wet panties or raging hardons as the case may be over the idea of sex with older people.  I hate it when a waitron insults my intelligence by pretending to be one of the very rare exceptions.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Fuck Hooters.  Their beer selection sucks, their pitchers are small and probably watered down, and their food is comparable to a really good Applebees, which is to say it's mediocre at best.

The real reason not to go to Hooters, though, is the fucking waitresses.  They will SIT DOWN AT YOUR FUCKING TABLE to take your order.  They try to TALK TO YOU.

Look, honey, I'm fucking hungry.  Bring Me My fucking cheeseburger and beer and shut your whore mouth.

Dammit, hussy!  I'm trying to watch God Damned Wrestlemania, because this is sure the fuck cheaper than buying the PPV.  Get your fake plastic tits soaked in orange spray-on tanner out of My fucking face and BRING ME MY FUCKING NACHOS!  SHUT UP!  SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Hooters fucking sucks.

Dude.  I'm coming down and were hitting up another ATL Streeter and we're getting you some pussy(not from the other Streeter, but we'll find it somewhere).

My father nearly had an engraved table at one of the local ATL Hooters.  We ate there a lot.  I dug the wings growing up but have since moved on to their Buffalo shrimp, just about the only thing edible anymore on the menu.  I came really close to dating a Hooter's waitress while in college.  The ones where I live now have some of the ugliest waitresses by the scale of Hooter's I have frequented in the past.  It is unbelievable.

Sofie, your gym teacher line made me laugh as it immediately conjured up the last scene of Weird Science.



Your nieces BTW?  The brunette?  How young, er...old is she?  :)

I generally try to ignore the waitresses "acting" and make a point to either sit at the edge of the booth or seem extremely indignant when they sit down.  After all the years I spent eating at Hooter's I do have one extreme pet peeve about the waitresses.  If they don't open that cup of ranch or bleu cheese I generally will have a mini freak-out inside my head and leave a smaller tip.  Odd, yes but that's the only part of their job I expect them to do.

And fun fact(which was in ATL and Tennessee but I notice isn't so much true here):  They all get a name tag when they are hired however they oftentimes wear each other's because of customers who tend to stalk them.  It is only after many visits and sitting with the same waitress that you can usually learn their real name.

What an awesome place. I prefer a quiet table in the back with a good Oprah recommended novel, a fine bottle of cabernet, and the five star chien au chili. My favorite Hooters overlooks a Home Depot and a service road.

Last edited by Banjo (2009-10-04 11:37:12)

Now that I'm sober, I'd like to speak in the defense of Hooters.

The woman who reviewed it was funny, but it's really easy to make fun of the concept of Hooters, and reporters have been doing it for nearly 30 years. She sounded insecure, and defensive, and envious. All qualities that are very unattractive, even in the best looking women. She sounds hideous, and I have no idea what she looks like, how well she takes care of herself, or how she utilizes her intelligence to be charming when she's in a situation where she's not defending her ego.

I think Hooters is cheesy, but it's really a harmless place for men to congregate and enjoy themselves. I also think that part of the horror expressed by many women about the environment of Hooters stems from the fact that they can't wrap their minds around the fact that men's fantasies don't even resemble their own romantic notions.

Men can just as easily make fun of the cheesiness of women's romance novels and chick flicks. It is a nice escape from reality for the people who indulge in them.

And Scotty...they're 19 and 21. Far too old for your...preferences.

sofaking wrote:

Link to YouTube page

Was this the one the Jesus went to?  Poor baby be traumatized!

AladdinSane wrote:

Years ago, Hooters used to have some great Buffalo Chicken sandwiches, but I stopped eating there when I found out their fries were cooked in peanut oil...

What's wrong with peanut oil?  I mean, I know it's not the healthiest oil around, but it sure is good for deep frying.

I thought it was a guy as well.  A queer guy since the footnotes were from a straight man.

I was on assignment with Lindy West. Also female, also blonde.

I've no Gehbook account so can't see much more than the profile pic.

I too have had a "competing" restaurant idea in my head for a few years.  It is actually geared towards women.  I need to look into that with a friend of mine.

Last edited by Scotty (2009-10-04 13:41:06)

sofaking wrote:

Scotty wrote:

I too have had a "competing" restaurant idea in my head for a few years.  It is actually geared towards women.  I need to look into that with a friend of mine.

You could call it 'Peckers', and figure out a different bird to associate it with.

Actually I have a name, color scheme, menu and uniforms in my head, have for at least ten years now.  It isn't bird related so as to not invite an obvious lawsuit.

sofaking wrote:

Does that mean you've scrapped the shorts, too?

I think some Richard Simmons style Dolphin shorts would be sexxay.

In the interests of sanitary conditions I have pants in mind unless the waitstaff wishes to shave their legs.  The top would be some kind of mesh/bodystocking, form fitting, hopefully see through number that would display the wares but conform to healthy eating establishment regulations.

Now that I think about it I could hire Taint as both a culinary and wardrobe consultant.

Everything is finalized in my head and I do mean everything.  My only sticking point is that women most likely would not frequent such an establishment.  My idea does titillate(poor choice of words, I know)but it isn't the crude wooden table and lodge look of Hooter's.  As much as that may be the case I have never done market research to see if women would take to it or not.

Hey, Rotten, want to invest in a dining establishment?

Last edited by Scotty (2009-10-04 14:20:20)

I don't mind Hooters that much, it's a place that has cold beer and onion rings.  I don't go to Hooters that often, but once or twice a year it's nice to go there, down five or six tall glasses of beer and gawk at the waitresses.  I don't think gawking at the waitresses is exploiting them either, no one is forcing them to work there.  One rule of thumb I've found though, only go to a Hooters if it's in a college town, the waitresses are younger and far better looking.  My last girlfriend found out that I visited Hooters from time to time and she flipped the fuck out like I was going there to fuck the waitresses.  People like that obviously have no self-esteem if they can't handle someone drinking a few beers and enjoying the eye candy.

I think Hooters is okay.  The food is decent at the one I go to, the waitresses are friendly.  And I fucking LOVE the fried pickles they just came out with.  Had my birthday there, with my 4 year old son and my wife, my cousin and his 13 year old daughter, who was given a shirt.  It wasn't her first time at the restaurant either. 


Sure they dress skimpy, sure they flirt, I like that too... but I come back for the buffalo chicken sandwich and the fried pickles.

I mean my God in heaven, they are just that good.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Scotty wrote:

sofaking wrote:

Does that mean you've scrapped the shorts, too?

I think some Richard Simmons style Dolphin shorts would be sexxay.

In the interests of sanitary conditions I have pants in mind unless the waitstaff wishes to shave their legs.  The top would be some kind of mesh/bodystocking, form fitting, hopefully see through number that would display the wares but conform to healthy eating establishment regulations.

Clear plastic Hammer pants and banana hammocks.

Yessss.

And instead of hula hooping they can dance like MC Hammer.


And the mesh top should be like a full-body hairnet.

For sanitary purposes.

icangetyouatoe wrote:

Pedo's. You could have the logo be a cartoon Mexican child molester in a sombrero. Everything could be on a "kids menu", and the waitstaff could dress like either little leaguers or girl scouts. Crayons and paper placemats. Dildo shaped salt and pepper shakers.

Dirty Sanchez's?  The perfect place to sport a chocolate milk moustache.

whosasailorthen wrote:

Jesus looking for pussy?  Crap.  I though he was gay.

I need a scorecard.

I'm not looking for pussy!  If I wanted pussy, I could find pussy easily enough.  Some of it might even be better than jacking off, though I've found that easily-obtained pussy is usually not worthwhile.

issues... issues... issues... don't complain if you are the source of your issues... issues... issues...

We're sorry Jesus.

It's just that we associate Your hands with a different sort of nail in them.