#1 2009-11-25 18:11:06

The oldest of four, I caught all the micro vermin first. Measles, mumps, viral pneumonia, and chicken pox, which I happily passed along. Get most of those once, you never see them again.

There is, sadly, neither vaccine nor immunity to the most crippling disease known to man. You're all its victims. I was 55 before it poleaxed me.

I have hit the fucking jackpot, boys and girls. I have met and fondled the woman I was meant to love, honor and obey forever and ever. The real deal. Delirious fireworks, everything.

You've heard the insufferable rest of this story before.

Smoochies

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#2 2009-11-25 19:09:31

So, are congratulations or condolences in order?

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#3 2009-11-25 19:24:03

Fill in your own blanks.

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#4 2009-11-25 19:43:05

My sincerest sympathies. 

I hope only one of you comes out of this alive.

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#5 2009-11-25 19:55:50

This can only end in tears....

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#6 2009-11-25 20:08:21

Blow me.

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#7 2009-11-25 20:17:31

Can I watch?  No really.

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#8 2009-11-25 20:17:41

choad wrote:

Blow me.

Tell her that, Choad.  Congrats.  It's worth it.  Occasionally.

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#9 2009-11-25 20:22:24

choad wrote:

Blow me.

Don't take that wrong mate, only the best relationships end in tears - and it might take you 40 years to get to those tears.

I wish you luck and such love that tears are the inevitible outcome.

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#10 2009-11-25 20:32:44

Tell her I said she's a lucky woman.

Have you shown her the dungeon here?

Don't hide it from her.

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#11 2009-11-25 20:45:20

choad wrote:

I have hit the fucking jackpot, boys and girls. I have met and fondled the woman I was meant to love, honor and obey forever and ever.

Congratulations Choad. Life is fleeting... enjoy every drop. 

But Em has a point.  Love is like heroin.

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#12 2009-11-25 20:47:32

Emmeran wrote:

choad wrote:

Blow me.

Don't take that wrong mate, only the best relationships end in tears - and it might take you 40 years to get to those tears.

They happen now, for no apparent reason. I repeat, I have never been here before.

When I told an older and wiser friend, she replied, "Now you know what it's like to be a woman."

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#13 2009-11-25 20:50:42

sofaking wrote:

Have you shown her the dungeon here?

Yes.

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#14 2009-11-25 20:51:19

opsec wrote:

But Em has a point.  Love is like heroin.

Tell me about it. See subject line.

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#15 2009-11-25 21:02:06

kim

I know exactly what you mean, Choad. I still get those feelings everytime He lets me out of my cage - sometimes for up to an hour! Aah, love!

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#16 2009-11-25 21:28:17

I am profoundly happy.  Then again I am drunk, again.  Wait, I am sobering up.  Choad, I wish you happiness.  Everyone deserves it, and the Nay-Sayers deserve it as well.  May the good Goddess and God Bless Em.

D

Last edited by Dmtdust (2009-11-25 21:49:00)

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#17 2009-11-25 21:56:20

choad wrote:

The real deal. Delirious fireworks, everything.

Could be an ergot blight in your taboule stash.  Watch out for the cold light of day, son, when the colors wash out, the synaesthesia runs down and you're left with morning breath and the quiet sound of her gnawing on your entrails.

Seriously, you know more about how my romantic luck has run than anyone else on the planet... just do better than I did and we'll both feel good about it.  Much Joy to you.

Last edited by monkeyboy (2009-11-25 22:54:34)

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#18 2009-11-25 22:20:44

choad wrote:

Smoochies

Get a pre-nup.  Even if you don't think you need it.  ESPECIALLY if you don't think you need it.

This is the advice I have given all of My friends, and I have had a few occasions to say "I told you so."

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#19 2009-11-26 04:44:03

Well I hope the best for you.  Just to be certain, ask yourself this:  Are you or the lady subject to bouts of hormone poisoning with lust object fixation?  In my earlier years, I suffered bouts of this horrible malady (and in one case, had lots of wild sex with a hot handsome but shallow sufferer while I waited for him to get over it, heh heh), and I wouldn’t wish this on anybody.  The problem with person specific hormone poisoning (not to be confused with just being horney all the time) is that the hormone levels will suddenly crash for one or both parties and you are left with the awful dilemma of breaking off a relationship that now drives you up the wall, or being dumped by somebody you are still in lust with but who now wonders what they ever saw in you.  I’ve been on both sides of that equation and I would hate to see you get burned by either situation.

Last edited by fnord (2009-11-26 04:45:33)

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#20 2009-11-26 10:49:07

fnord wrote:

I’ve been on both sides of that equation

So have I. This is something else, and borders Science Fantasy. I'll explain that later, maybe. Thank you, fnord.

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#21 2009-11-26 13:32:03

I am awake and sober, and still stand by what I said last night.

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#22 2009-11-26 18:40:58

You should never say 'Congratulations' for marriage, as it implies that the recipient is both undeserving and incapable of achieving such a state in the natural way without improbable quantities of blind dumb luck. Or so I've been told...... But screw that! Congratulations to you and your squeeze, and may you have more than the normal actuarial span of bliss!

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#23 2009-11-26 20:14:32

Choad!!

Keep your fucking hands off my mother- I'm tired of telling you.

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#24 2009-11-26 22:10:14

A bad version; your situation did make me think of this song, choad.  Take the ride, why the hell not.

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#25 2009-11-27 00:55:18

And you're sure she's not a tranny, Choad? Just askin'.

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#26 2009-11-27 09:30:09

Did you just call my mother a tranny?

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#27 2009-11-27 12:14:20

MSG Tripps wrote:

A bad version; your situation did make me think of this song, choad.  Take the ride, why the hell not.

I'll see your Roxy Music and raise you Sparks:

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#29 2009-11-28 00:16:21

My love has read this drivel and agrees.

She adds, "There are no skid marks in front of this road wreck."

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#30 2009-11-28 02:00:58

choad wrote:

She adds, "There are no skid marks in front of this road wreck."

You found your soul mate. I approve.

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#31 2009-11-28 07:47:36

People that fall in love get what they deserve.  Here's to hoping what you deserve is pretty goddamned good.

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#32 2009-11-28 17:54:11

Choad,

I would only be worried if you met your soon to be spouse on this here message board.

heh.

I still have to agree with whomever recommended the pre-nup.  Or at least separate bank accounts and separate bathrooms...

Congrats.

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#33 2009-11-28 23:28:15

I have been away for a week...Have you broken up yet?  I'm super super happy for you.  I just hope that's still appropriate.

I got poleaxed by lurve 16+ years ago just by raising my head about 15 degrees and looking into a pair of eyes.  Those eyes and all that came with them are still with me, although the high has mellowed (thank God for small favors).

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#34 2009-11-29 01:01:30

George Orr wrote:

I got poleaxed by lurve 16+ years ago just by raising my head about 15 degrees and looking into a pair of eyes.

Damn You Hypnotoad!

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#35 2009-11-29 01:07:50

George Orr wrote:

Those eyes and all that came with them are still with me, although the high has mellowed (thank God for small favors).

The man who signed his wedding salute to you, "a cynical romantic," has gone missing somewhere, but I'll thank cthulhu, it's all the same to you.

Bless you, dear friend.

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#36 2009-11-29 20:07:16

Love'll get you like a case of anthrax
And that's something I don't want to catch
Love'll get you like a case of anthrax
And that's something I don't want to catch

I shan't inflict Gang of Four's ill performance on the group.

Seriously, congrats and envy. Mostly envy.

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