Wow!  I couldn't compose that kind of BS without a tremendous amount of help and a huge supply of barf bags.  These guys must be laughing their asses off.

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Or you could just pull her hair and slap her ass while riding her like a pony.

Foreplay first though. In Australia that constitutes the question - "wanna root, luv?"

I lasted 41 seconds. Cripes, I'm glad I'm gay. I was watching "Thor" tonight - speaking of gay - with one of my partners and he was relaying, almost word-for-word the one sided conversation between some early-20s pretty, blonde chick and her clearly-desperate-to-get-laid date, some largely forgettable guy whose idea of kinky probably includes feathers or silk handkerchiefs. Anyway, she managed an impassioned monologue about her feelings about some other person or some shit or other for at least 10 minutes without once taking a breath. He just nodded and agreed a lot.

I hope to hell he got laid.  Man, I don't see how you breeder boys do it.