High Street at Cruelery.com - The Web's Bitter Afterbirth / Fitfty Shades Generator

XregnaR · 2012-07-27 13:06:30

“I awoke the next morning with my soft-shelled tuna taco still trickling. I thought it was over but his timed slimer had other ideas. Hours of fucking like this would leave any girl's fishy flaps looking like a darts team's goalkeeper, and I was no different! After having my cum dumpster hammered, he then proceeded to pound my chocolate starfish. With my bald man in a boat now much like a horse's collar, he thought it was time to start plunging my rusty bullet hole. Is now the time to tell him I really need to launch a toilet twinkie, I wondered? The thrusting of my shit winker was so vigorous, he soon found his kids on a swing joining his spunk-filled spam rocket deep in my chocolate starfish."

Taint · 2012-07-27 13:47:47

This is as close to reading that book as I care to venture, and it's a little too damned close.

whosasailorthen · 2012-07-27 20:02:02

Wonderful.

By now, my kipper dinghy was leaching like a broken coffee maker. My quivering mound of love pudding was trembling like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer. Inserting a egg timer into my chlamydia canal got me spattering minge monsoon faster than greased shit off a shiny shovel. I can't wait to suck the steamin' semen from his sperminator. The unrelenting orgasms from his pink tractor beam thrusting my gaping clam cavern made me come so hard, I began sweating like a pregnant nun.

Hours of slamming like this would leave any girl's beef curtains looking like a manatee in yoga pants, and I was no different! When he removed his one-eyed monster from my fart valve, he was pleasantly surprised to see a sewer trout staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to chow down on the sewer trout off his sperminator. Inserting a footlong fudge bullet into my pink velvet sausage wallet got me spattering tuna tunnel tears faster than snot off a whip. After having my soft-shelled tuna taco slammed, he then proceeded to thrust my brown eye. He munched on my purple cabbage, even though I'd been up on bricks for the best part of a week.

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2012-07-27 20:03:03)

George Orr · 2012-07-28 00:31:37

like a manatee in yoga pants

I have got to find a way to work that into a conversation somehow, or I will die.

whosasailorthen · 2012-07-28 20:48:35

George Orr wrote:
like a manatee in yoga pants
I have got to find a way to work that into a conversation somehow, or I will die.

Exactly why I quoted that one... me too!

choad · 2012-07-28 21:17:52

whosasailorthen wrote:
George Orr wrote:
like a manatee in yoga pants
I have got to find a way to work that into a conversation somehow, or I will die.
Exactly why I quoted that one... me too!

For the visually impaired...

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