Last edited by Mugwump (2018-02-03 12:53:17)

Baywolfe wrote:

Smudge wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

Ouch!!

The markets giveth and the markets taketh away.

Nonsense!

That's just some residual Obamaness which just leaked out.

That wily Obama strikes again.  He'll be the bane of the Trump Presidency, you just watch!

Fucking Bill Clinton just won't go away - I wouldn't be surprised if Barbara Bush was behind all of this.

the biggest intraday (hYugest!) point drop in history.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After watching it suffer its worst losses since he became President, Donald Trump is “seriously considering” firing the Dow Jones industrial Average, aides have confirmed.

According to the aides, Trump is “furious” at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him “very unfairly.”

“Increasingly, the President has become convinced that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not on his team,” one aide said. “Seeing the negative Dow numbers in the corner of the TV screen has been wrecking eleven hours of every day for him.”

Reportedly, Trump is mulling replacing the Dow with a new system, in which Sarah Huckabee Sanders would appear every day at 4 P.M. to announce how high stocks had skyrocketed.

En route to an appearance in Ohio, Trump stopped short of saying that he would ask for the stock market index’s resignation, but his contempt for the Dow was palpable.

“The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a disgrace, and it should be very, very ashamed of itself,” he said.

Newly Defined Treason

...or one hand clapping while the other jerks off.

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choad wrote:

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/boing.png

Newly Defined Treason

...or one hand clapping while the other jerks off.

We don't live in a dictatorship or a monarchy. I swore an oath—in the military and in the Senate—to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, not to mindlessly cater to the whims of Cadet Bone Spurs and clap when he demands I clap https://t.co/99gW1yalDl
    — Tammy Duckworth (@SenDuckworth) February 5, 2018

What she said.

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We're way over due for a correction and the longer we go without it the harsher it's going to be.  Yesterday, at this moment, appears to have been a volatility flash - the VIX type products are out of control.  Regulators can't keep up with the electronically traded products like Vol ETN's  - hell even the guys who created them barely understand them.

warning: mute audio


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In an age of good rants, some rising to the finest examples of the form, I guess great art really is driven by necessity, I am kind of partial to this one.

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

In an age of good rants, some rising to the finest examples of the form

NYTimes: Who Said It: Pepé Le Pew or Donald Trump?

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Satire from The Borowitz Report
Military Refuses to Participate in Trump’s Parade, Citing Bone Spurs

By Andy Borowitz

10:54 A.M.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.

Harland Dorrinson, a Pentagon spokesman, said that, within an hour of Trump’s request, more than a hundred thousand military personnel complained that they were suffering from acute cases of bone spurs that would make marching in such a parade a painful ordeal.

“In the history of the U.S. military, we have never experienced a bone-spur epidemic of this magnitude,” the spokesman said. “Regrettably, however, we have no choice but to issue thousands of deferments.”

A statement from the bone-spur sufferers said that they would continue to valiantly serve their country around the world in a non-marching capacity, and offered an alternative to their participation in Trump’s proposed pageant.

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.

choad wrote:

Not fair!  Irene had real talent.

JetRx wrote:

Military Parade = Third-World BS

One thing is for certain - the Military HATES a parade.

choad wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

JetRx wrote:

Military Parade = Third-World BS

One thing is for certain - the Military HATES a parade.

(cough)(bullshit)

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/mitchmiller.png

Or did Pendleton give you a brain wipe before you left? I'm joking, sort of.

Nah dude - only the top ego's are even interested in that kind of shit.

I don't even want to begin to explain to you the fucking hassle and waste of a parade - it' be more fun to start listing the tricks I know to get out of them; and believe you me, we tried everything we could think of to avoid 18 hours of hell even a small parade entailed.  You just cannot imagine.



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Last edited by Emmeran (2018-02-09 14:07:05)

Emmeran wrote:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/paloma/daily-202/2018/02/09/daily-202-rand-paul-s-short-lived-shutdown-is-ending-but-his-warning-about-gop-deficit-hypocrisy-reverberates/5a7d1f8530fb041c3c7d773f/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.74022cfe2b51

The bill authorizes the U.S. government to spend about $500 billion more over the next two years and suspends the debt ceiling until 2019. Most of the additional spending is not offset with cuts elsewhere, which means that the $20 trillion national debt will grow significantly. Sixty percent of the new money goes to the military; the rest goes to domestic programs.

This is the largest increase in federal spending since the stimulus passed during the depths of the Great Recession. Republicans almost universally opposed that bill in 2009, which cost $787 billion over 10 years, on the grounds that it would increase the debt too much. The only difference between now and then is that the economy is firing on all cylinders and doesn’t need stimulus.

...and the 1%'ers need more pocket change to tide them over thru this next recession coming up.......that they instigated, again......

Absolute confidence in John Kelly

(or as our sports fans know this to mean: He's about to be fired)

The blueprint allows states to add or increase tolls on inter-state highways, and to charge fees to use highway rest areas.

However, it bans states from charging for "essential services such as water or access to restrooms".

Okay, so which is it?  Are they charging the truckers for sleeping there or what?

Emmeran wrote:

I'm still more concerned with the privatization of water reservoirs.

Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown.

Privatizing Food Stamps

I see a future, a future where autonomous Corporate Food Trucks cruise the roads of our fair land dispensing ready made quorn meals to the needy based on their food account balance. A quick, painless DNA sampling will determine who you are (and what you've ingested) and allow you to pick from pre-made foods you can still afford that current food week - if you've followed the current testing rules. Advertisements of what you can afford will be targeted at you and if you don't want to eat from the Pizza Hut truck the Chic-a-Filet truck is only 3 minutes later, with Taco Bell and McDonald queuing up behind.

Baywolfe wrote:

Some Jimmie Breslin columns on Donald Trump.  Including my favorite, The Art of the Trump: Call It Corum's Law

Jimmy had competitors but few held their own half as long, and none could rival his human decency, beginning to end.

Last edited by choad (2018-02-13 20:37:52)

Smudge wrote:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/millions-of-americans-demand-130000-for-not-having-sex-with-trump

And paid her out of his own pocket because, you know, lawyers are the most compassionate lizards in the animal kingdom.

Wow, well played Ms Daniels, well played. That was quick. For as smart and tough Trump and his cadre make themselves out to be, they really are something. Doesn't take much to egg them on into hanging themselves.

Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2018-02-14 23:07:42)

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Baywolfe wrote:

Cleanup on aisle, Richard Gates.

CNN reports that Gates has had a “Queen for a Day” interview with Mueller’s team, a term criminal lawyers use to describe an interview in which a defendant answers questions from prosecutors and can admit to crimes with few consequences.

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Last edited by choad (2018-02-15 22:03:35)

GooberMcNutly wrote:

choad wrote:

Baywolfe wrote:

Cleanup on aisle, Richard Gates.

CNN reports that Gates has had a “Queen for a Day” interview with Mueller’s team, a term criminal lawyers use to describe an interview in which a defendant answers questions from prosecutors and can admit to crimes with few consequences.

Also known as "spreading the umbrella". Go off the record for a while in the hope that he will name drop a couple of names that aren't made men so the prosecutor can put a few feathers in his cap and the made men get to go free and the public thinks that "measures are being taken" and all that jive.

It's also how you get your Federal witnesses to testify.  If it's a Federal investigation, usually every fucking body is guilty.