Oh my....You have no idea where you just came to for sympathy and the severity of the beating you are about to take. I promise the pain about to be cast upon you will overshadow the pain of your whore dumping you.

ah297900

Sure thing.  This will happen in a very caring manner....


              Let the well wishes begin.











[I reserve the right to add commentary at any given time.]

I'm sorry, man.

Advice:  You will be tempted to get wasted.  Don't.  It makes it worse.

Perhaps it will help a bit to know that you've cheered me up.  I may be jobless and maybe the phone hasn't rung for two weeks and the money's getting low; but at least at night I lie down next to my warm snuggly love.

[Sorry; had to.]

Some funny videos to cheer you up:

And remember, country music can always cheer you up and provide inspiration when you're down:

You know, I'd have hung myself if I didn't learn what came next from the picture thread. I think if my dead bowels vacate themselves I don't get my deposit back. Says so in the lease.

Zook's outpouring of his inner sensitivity has reminded me of a time when I got left, and my little teenage heart was just seriously broken, and this song was in the Top 40:

And I just wasn't able to take any of it seriously after that.  I went to the beach that same weekend and had a fucking blast.

...Still a sad puppy?  Bonnie make it all better:

George Orr wrote:

I'm sorry, man.

Advice:  You will be tempted to get wasted.  Don't.  It makes it worse.

Perhaps it will help a bit to know that you've cheered me up.  I may be jobless and maybe the phone hasn't rung for two weeks and the money's getting low; but at least at night I lie down next to my warm snuggly love.

[Sorry; had to.]

Great.. Now I'm depressed!

Thanks a fucking lot, Ah-so!

On a lighter note, I feel you, bro (don't get excited you hs assbucklers, it is a figure of speech). I've been there and it sucks.

What always made me feel better was to change my political beliefs.
Just a suggestion.

Seriously, though, my solution was to get some of my best friends together and go out and do something not involving alcohol (jet skiing, golf, paint ball, dwarf tossing... whatever is your thing). Even better if it's something you've not done before as the excitement will further help get your mind off stuff.

Also, get her to send you a lot of self-made porn. A picture is worth a thousand words. Then post the pictures here so we can help you get through this tough time.

Last edited by ptah13 (2008-08-08 03:24:49)

You fucking straight edge pansies and your no-booze approach to breaking up make me fucking sick.  What's happened to the world when people want to get over their ex in a healthy, life affirming manner?  Don't you feel the desire to plunge the depths?  Don't you want to see just how low you can sink and still make it back up for air?  How are you supposed to learn anything about yourself when you're fucking river rafting with your jackass friends (who are all in happy relationships)?

Barricade yourself in the bathroom for the amount of time it takes you to consume a full handle of cheap whiskey.  Once the bottle's empty, it's time to leave the bathroom and see where the visions lead you.  Don't come back until you have no less than four new linear inches of scar, a new tattoo, or a venereal disease. 

God Damn it boy, you get your ass out there and hit bottom like a man.

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2008-08-08 13:19:47)

You know on the bright side when she meets some German guy and he decides to invade Poland (if you know what I mean), at least it won't be anyone you know.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

You fucking straight edge pansies and your no-booze approach to breaking up make me fucking sick.  What's happened to the world when people want to get over their ex in a healthy, life affirming manor?  Don't you feel the desire to plunge the depths?  Don't you want to see just how low you can sink and still make it back up for air?  How are you supposed to learn anything about yourself when you're fucking river rafting with your jackass friends (who are all in happy relationships)?

Barricade yourself in the bathroom for the amount of time it takes you to consume a full handle of cheap whiskey.  Once the bottle's empty, it's time to leave the bathroom and see where the visions lead you.  Don't come back until you have no less than four new linear inches of scar, a new tattoo, or a venereal disease. 

God Damn it boy, you get your ass out there and hit bottom like a man.

Man, I'm sold. I never thought this place could be such an excellent source for self-help. Not bad advice Mr Pegging. Who says good Christians like yourself don't know how to have a good time?

Or how about Vegas? That's where you should go. Vegas.

Adult Disney. Drink some tequila and get some Brazilian women in a hot tub. Gamble. Forget what time and day it is. Drink more. Score some blow and jerk yourself till your fuckstick feels like Stretch Armstrong's missing appendage .. wait, that idea was already suggested. Sorry....

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types -- so I know this is the very best thing for him, but I still feel the loss.

That's life, you know? Things change, and so do we.

Three words for you brother: Craigslist Casual Encounters

Repeat until symptoms fade.

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Three words for you brother: Craigslist Casual Encounters

Repeat until symptoms fade.

I looked around at those and the pictures seemed too good to be true.

ptah13 wrote:

Seriously, though, my solution was to get some of my best friends together and go out and do something not involving alcohol (jet skiing, golf, paint ball, dwarf tossing... whatever is your thing). Even better if it's something you've not done before as the excitement will further help get your mind off stuff.

I've heard that Russian Roulette can be QUITE invigorating!

karenw wrote:

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types

So... he's adopted, right?

Here is the drill, ah297900.

Either kill yourself now [just do it].

or

Fucking deal with it and never speak of such shit again.

Zookeeper wrote:

So... he's adopted, right?

Very original, bravo.

And no, actually, he sprung directly from my loins.

karenw wrote:

Zookeeper wrote:

So... he's adopted, right?

Very original, bravo.

And no, actually, he sprung directly from my loins.

Really?  I always thought that was just a figure of speech.

Breaking up sucks, big time. I have no advice for you. Go ahead and feel like shit, get angry, turn maudlin, drink and/or smoke or fuck your brains out or don't, feel like shit some more, and then - after a while - you'll start to feel normal again.

And you'll still miss her.

There's two kinds of fags: the kind that're born queer and the kind that women turn that way.

Scotty wrote:

Please don't tell me I'm gonna start liking it up the ass from dudes.  Tell me that wasn't what happened to you.

Hey, I used to bang three or four chicks a week and they were calling me all the time trying to hook up, until I met Danielle. I mean, don't read too much into this, but...

Why aren't you moving to Germany to be with her? WTF?