orangeplus wrote:

Hahahahhah when the guy in the couple mentions fear of STDs, his girlfriend looks down at the floor. (~55 secs)

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2008-08-08 17:58:58)

Life is shit.

Bigcat wrote:

karenw wrote:

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types -- so I know this is the very best thing for him, but I still feel the loss.

That's life, you know? Things change, and so do we.

Me too. I feel sad all of the time. (sniff, sniff)

What the fuck is this turning into? A fuckin support group? I am disappointed at the lack of ass chewing being given out here.

Come on, somebody step up to the plate for fuck sakes.

Just who the fuck are you to tell me how to heckle the grieving?  What fucking prolapse did you slide out of that give you the right to flap your taco hole about the way we choose to mock someone's pain?  You wanna do something about the hand-holding?  Then put up or shut up, you sniveling simpleton. 

Fuck you, and I hope you die.

outhere wrote:

you guys have all turned into pussies.

Highstreet is dead.

I've said it time and time again:



*EDIT* And Bigcat, I think I came correct from the get-go.  Give a muthafucka his props now why don't ya?

Last edited by Scotty (2008-08-08 20:32:11)

Scotty wrote:

Please don't tell me I'm gonna start liking it up the ass from dudes.  Tell me that wasn't what happened to you.

Your future is plain to read with this little missive, you are more than half way there.  Next thing you'll know you'll be in the baths having a train pulling contest.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Lemmie spell out the worst case scenario for ya, Ah Poop, shall I?

*refills glass with Mr. George Dickel's #12 mash*

Look, you're obviously a young man, judging by how tore up you claim to be over this woman who (and it's the internet here so let's face it...) may or may not actually exist.  I'm gonna tell you how to get over the Girl Who Breaks Your Heart and Turns You Into a Cynical Bastard.

First thing you're gonna have to go have The Secks with women you wouldn't have looked at twice before.  Don't look for girls who you can Really Talk To, you're never going to get another one of those ever again.  Ever.  Look for girls with acceptable appearances who party a lot and smell like strippers (you'll know when you smell it, and no it's not quite unpleasant).  Fuck these girls until they get bored with your morose ass and move on to a friend of yours.  The friend should, ideally, have no idea you were boning her so that there's no real awkwardness between y'all.

Example post-her-leaving-him conversation:
Him: So, uh, were you ever mad at me about Girl X?
You: Nah, man, you didn't even know I was hittin' it
Him: But if I did, man..
You: Yeah, I know...
Him: *uncomfortably looks away from you*
You: *takes a pull from a beer bottle*
Him: ...but what a bitch
You: YES!

Now it's time for you to start doing serious drugs.  Go onto Erowid.org

hang on my glass is empty.

So go to erowid and browse around until you find an interesting sounding chemical that's still legal to purchase in your region.  Order a half a pound of it over the internet ("research chemical" is a useful keyword to aid in your googling for suppliers of quasi-legal drugs).  Do it until you realize that you haven't urinated in 24 hours despite constantly drinking liquids, then go to the hospital and have a bit more than two liters of urine drawn from you via catheter. 

Go on and give Her a call while you're laying there waiting for them to let you go home.  Do not go back for the followup examination: just take the catheter out yourself (IMPORTANT: read internet instructions first so you don't rip your urethra out by pulling out a Foley without deflating it).  Give her a call (while you're still layin in the hospital) at her new boyfriend's house, which you know the phone number of through internet stalking.  She will express basic sympathy but not really care.  Mostly she will express surprise that you knew the phone number.

Swear off the research chemicals for a while after that and drink lots of booze while smoking pot you grow in your closet.  Stop giving a shit about anything.  Drop out of school, and go through a string of shit jobs, working no more than a week at each.  Make sure you have caller ID so that you can avoid creditors. 

A few months after you've gotten yourself together enough that the creditors have stopped calling you, grind up four big nutmegs and eat them, then total your car against a telephone pole while going out for a donuts.  Be cordial to the police officers.  Tell them about the knife you're carrying in a polite way, and they'll probably not even mention it in their report. 

Call a friend from jail and wiat for him to bail you out (did I mention you had your licesnse suspended at some point?  that was during the time all the creditors were calling.  maybe you should have paid attention to this shit, moron). 

During all of these proceedures it is essential that you think about The Girl every single day.  Every.  Single.  Day.  It is essential for the experience that you get completely dependent on memories of sex with her for your masturbatory sessions.  She's gone now, and she's still getting you off three or four times a day.  She NEVER thinks about you, ever.  Ever.

(Sometimes you should cry, but do it in the shower so your roommate doesn't hear you)

Fuck some more hippie sluts, then decide it's not worth the effort.  Think about Her when you're fucking them.  Drink more.  Go whole weeks without getting an erection.  At this point it's time for you to start considering exactly how you plan to kill yourself.  I leave that part as an excercise to the reader.

Do we know each-other?

Did you use to date someone at this website, too?

Can I buy you a beer or something?

tojo2000 wrote:

Bigcat wrote:

karenw wrote:

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types -- so I know this is the very best thing for him, but I still feel the loss.

That's life, you know? Things change, and so do we.

Me too. I feel sad all of the time. (sniff, sniff)

What the fuck is this turning into? A fuckin support group? I am disappointed at the lack of ass chewing being given out here.

Come on, somebody step up to the plate for fuck sakes.

Just who the fuck are you to tell me how to heckle the grieving?  What fucking prolapse did you slide out of that give you the right to flap your taco hole about the way we choose to mock someone's pain?  You wanna do something about the hand-holding?  Then put up or shut up, you sniveling simpleton. 

Fuck you, and I hope you die.

PERFECT!!! Thats what I'm talking about. Nice job.

P.S. Sorry Scotty--that was a nice one.

Bigcat wrote:

karenw wrote:

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types -- so I know this is the very best thing for him, but I still feel the loss.

That's life, you know? Things change, and so do we.

Me too. I feel sad all of the time. (sniff, sniff)

What the fuck is this turning into? A fuckin support group? I am disappointed at the lack of ass chewing being given out here.

Come on, somebody step up to the plate for fuck sakes.

Go fuck yourself in the ass with a broken-off vinegar bottle, you heartless cunt.

Just because we can empathize doesn't mean we're any less sick and/or perverted.

MSG Tripps wrote:

That may be debatable.

To be fair, I suppose it would preclude true sociopathy; however, a caring exterior can indeed belie a festering interior.

Scotty wrote:

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y278/C … hark_s.jpg

FUck Yeaagh. SH4rkz R00L!!1!!@211v  LOL<



Edit: I just couldn't resist.

Last edited by karenw (2008-08-09 09:56:12)

karenw wrote:

Bigcat wrote:

karenw wrote:

Ah,

It's been a hard week for me too. The other day I took my 16 y.o. son off to school, a full 2 years earlier than I'd planned. He's in a fabulous setting with other genius types -- so I know this is the very best thing for him, but I still feel the loss.

That's life, you know? Things change, and so do we.

Me too. I feel sad all of the time. (sniff, sniff)

What the fuck is this turning into? A fuckin support group? I am disappointed at the lack of ass chewing being given out here.

Come on, somebody step up to the plate for fuck sakes.

Go fuck yourself in the ass with a broken-off vinegar bottle, you heartless cunt.

Just because we can empathize doesn't mean we're any less sick and/or perverted.

Who the fuck are you, who, who?

orangeplus wrote:

Before I hit play on the video I totally expected this:

This thread is the cakefartest cakefart that has ever farted on a cake. And the cake was a lie to begin with. Everyone who has posted in it (including myself) needs to fuck off and find something useful , or failing that, at least entertaining to do. I will begin by first denigrating the idiot who started this thread. We've been pretty easy on you, mostly because we're lazy and PB was such an easy target, that garbage vomiting vermin has so lowered the bar around here that no one has any real heart left. I have purposely submitted several bits over the last week in an attempt to troll some good hatred, but no one took the bait, but instead made lame attempts to the 'witty'. But that does not excuse your behavior of coming here to whine about how your bitch left you in dumpsville, midwest, USA, to go suck some of Gunther's large master race cock. Now sure, having someone that you care about and might wish to get a government license to love with can be distressing, but we should not be codling losers around here. Empathy has its place but not here motherfucker, not here. If you're not capable of putting your bitch in her place, than revenge is your answer. If not on the subject of your distress, then may I suggest finding a suitable substitute. Ohio and Kentucky are filled with pathetic dregs of humanity who will thank you for feeding them your shit. So shut the fuck up, and like my dad said (when he was sober enough to talk) "wipe dem fuckin' tears offa ya face, afores I gives ya sometin' ta cries about."

Secondly I am going to smother several rugrats that are increasingly infesting my lovelorn Mission District in the vaginal cavity of a junky I kidnapped off of 16th & Mission. She's so worn out I can fit two 5 year old heads in her at one time. Efficiency in such matters is crucial.

If this thread continues I shall be forced to take more drastic matters, such as flash movies and autoplays. I do not claim to be the czar of content, I am however, a committed ontological terrorist.

harry roberts is our friend.



and lastly, ditch the bullshit AOL name, it's lame.

Edit: turned off autoplay

Last edited by tojo2000 (2008-08-09 19:06:26)

Orangina -- I appreciate the sentiment, but really, if we start letting people do the autoplay thing every time they're annoyed then the terrorists win.

headkicker_girl wrote:

Are the youth of today really that lacking in ambition?

Everybody else sure is, so you can't really blame the youth.

headkicker_girl wrote:

International love is not insurmountable, unless there's more to the story, like both of them are married to other people.  Otherwise, it's just sheer laziness.

You're right, probably.  Odds are he's just whining about a relationship that he knew was doomed anyway.

Bigcat wrote:

Who the fuck are you, who, who?

Are you some kind of fucking owl?

Again, I'm me. Just me. Been around for years *as* me.

Taint wrote:

karenw wrote:

Bigcat wrote:

Who the fuck are you, who, who?

Are you some kind of fucking owl?

Again, I'm me. Just me. Been around for years *as* me.

Actually, I'm me. You're you.

I beg to differ.

Bigcat wrote:

Looks to me like you've "been around" since July of this year. I'm sure you've "been around " the truck stops and such for years but I'm guessing that you are a housewife who's husband is having en affair with his secretary and discovered H.S. and thought you would make some lifelong pals. You want to talk over your problems and have some pretend friends who will sometimes respond to your posts. I'm guessing you have had a yeast infection that will not go away and your pussy stinks to high heaven.I have a special rock outside of m house that I will gladly pay the shipping on to send to you so you can crawl under it and die. Please forward you shipping address to me pronto.

Nice attempt. Actually I've been around for 10+ years. Missed the demise of cruel and recently found this particular sandbox.

Bigcat wrote:

I am a profiler of sorts and I want to help you.

Can you help me play a game? I call it "let's imagine."

Let's imagine that the best part of you trickled down your mommy's leg as she strained fruitlessly to expel the last vestiges of burning semen, deposited deep within her blistered cockhole by her daddy, who came home drunk again and looking to score. As she squatted in the dark above the putrid outhouse pit, deerflies were drawn to the fresh liquid, a combination of blood, shit, piss, and jizz. Their frenzied buzzing lodged itself forever in her broken mind, and formed the basis for the lullabies she would hum to her homozygous ankle-biter. While to this day you struggle to overcome the shameful truth of your conception and birth, your posts echo that same incessant, mindless drone.

pALEPHx wrote:

You kiss sailors and truck drivers with that mouth? ;)

I'm certain that Karen is enough of a professional that she knows better than to kiss the "clientele."

FatCunt wrote:

Who the fuck are you, who, who? . . . .  a housewife who's husband is having en affair . . .  I'm guessing you have had a yeast infection that will not go away and your pussy stinks to high heaven.I have a special rock outside of m house . . . .

Yeah, I think that most of us can recall Karen's Mary Hart imitation from the days of Cruel (A moment of silence, please).  Your non-proof-reading ass on the other-hand should remain in the lay-z-boy (I'm not looking up the spelling on that one) there in "m house," and stay the fuck out of our internets' space.

karenw wrote:

Bigcat wrote:

Looks to me like you've "been around" since July of this year. I'm sure you've "been around " the truck stops and such for years but I'm guessing that you are a housewife who's husband is having en affair with his secretary and discovered H.S. and thought you would make some lifelong pals. You want to talk over your problems and have some pretend friends who will sometimes respond to your posts. I'm guessing you have had a yeast infection that will not go away and your pussy stinks to high heaven.I have a special rock outside of m house that I will gladly pay the shipping on to send to you so you can crawl under it and die. Please forward you shipping address to me pronto.

Nice attempt. Actually I've been around for 10+ years. Missed the demise of cruel and recently found this particular sandbox.

Bigcat wrote:

I am a profiler of sorts and I want to help you.

Can you help me play a game? I call it "let's imagine."

Let's imagine that the best part of you trickled down your mommy's leg as she strained fruitlessly to expel the last vestiges of burning semen, deposited deep within her blistered cockhole by her daddy, who came home drunk again and looking to score. As she squatted in the dark above the putrid outhouse pit, deerflies were drawn to the fresh liquid, a combination of blood, shit, piss, and jizz. Their frenzied buzzing lodged itself forever in her broken mind, and formed the basis for the lullabies she would hum to her homozygous ankle-biter. While to this day you struggle to overcome the shameful truth of your conception and birth, your posts echo that same incessant, mindless drone.

You call my posts a drone however I suggest you go review your own attention begging patter you dried up cunt.

Bigcat wrote:

I'm certain you have never missed a letter while typing drunk. Fuck off.

That's why you proofread, which I believe was the point.