Kimba'sBitch wrote:

I'm certain you have never missed a letter while typing drunk.

Unlike most of you cowardly bastards, I consistently post whilst intoxicated (Mostly be-cause it makes reading my own posting a few months down the road so much more entertaining); So, yeah, I've missed/miss-placed a letter on occasion; But, your attempted diversion a-side, that's not exactly what you fucking did.  I may make the occasional, drunken "typo."  You, on the other hand, managed to - In one ignorant posting - make most exiled Nigerian royalty come off as pseudo-intellectuals.

QueerBoy'sKitty wrote:

Fuck off.

Is that supposed to be one of those existential insults?  How, exactly, am I expected to fornicate an "off?"   You're new at this, aren't you?  No, no, it's all-right - We'll help you adapt here.  Say, did you see that "Broked-Backed Mountin'" movie?  That Heath Ledger was one hell of an actor, eh?  So . . .   Care to hold hands, and watch the sun-set?  No, no . . .  Don't look to your friends for approval.  They could never under-stand this moment that we share.

Decadence wrote:

Yeah, I think that most of us can recall Karen's Mary Hart imitation

So I have the power to induce seizures? Fuckin' sweet.

Thanks for all the stuff. I enjoyed the drunk guy that couldn't operate his shoes and, goddamnit, the Dramatic Prairie Dog. Mr. Pegging, there seems to be the seed of an essay you have here. I even enjoyed the intricate, carefully thought out insults, which I skimmed and ignored as soon as I saw where they were going. It's comforting to know that so much effort went into something about which I give not one tenth of one shit.


The dark specter has been raised that this may all be a clever ruse, designed to elicit... god knows what. It's not. There really was a great girl, and I really was in a bad way for a while. And HKG, I worked the math on the relocation option for months, and if I moved there, there's the overwhelming likelihood that it would be at the expense of the relationship (I wouldn't be able to work, study, speak the damn language, all of which would lead to extreme dissatisfaction and then morph into resentment). If anybody's interested, I was out of town for the weekend getting drunk on a boat and doing much of what you suggested. I'm feeling better, if not quite good.

Scotty wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

If anybody's interested...

Eh, it takes even the ones who look promising awhile doesn't it?

What?

By the way, the quote of the weekend came from a party:

50 year old bud of mine: "Where's that german girlfriend; did she finally leave you? Haw haw haw..."

me:"Actually, I dropped her off at the airport yesterday."

pause

my bud: "Oh.... uh.... [apologetically] My wife died."

Widower FTW.

Alright, let's up the ante here.

This is the current contents of my liquor cabinet:

Some Bombay Sapphire, a little Cointreau, some Grand Marnier, a half bottle of Laird's Applejack.

Full bottles of the following:

10 Cane, Angostura 1919, Barbancourt 15 yr Reserve, Bacardi Limon, Hendricks Gin, Malibu, Appleton White, and several bottles of assorted Flying Dog Brewery labels.

I'm thinking of voluntarily upping my meds and seeing how quickly I can get through what I have just listed.

*EDIT* I forgot.  Fuck you, Ah Pook.

Last edited by Scotty (2008-08-11 19:54:14)

tojo2000 wrote:

Don't forget to put away the good china first.

Not interested in property destruction.  Just bodily closure.

1 Dead Guy ale down.

Scotty wrote:

Alright, let's up the ante here.

This is the current contents of my liquor cabinet:

It's a good start.  What's in your medicine cabinet?

Scotty wrote:

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Scotty wrote:

Alright, let's up the ante here.

This is the current contents of my liquor cabinet:

It's a good start.  What's in your medicine cabinet?

unfortunately all that is there is Lexapro.  But I figure I got at least 600mg which ought to induce a good dose of seratonin syndrome.

Snake Dog IPA down.

No dramamine?  No cough syrup?  Nothing?

jesusluvspegging wrote:

No dramamine?  No cough syrup?  Nothing?

I'm a chiropractor, JLP.  Most everything in my cabinets is natural.  It took an act of Congress for me to get on the Lexapro and it apparently isn't going to help the relationship so I figure I'll just finish the bottle.

Scotty wrote:

sofaking wrote:

You should just fly here and bet it all on black.

It would help to re-assess your priorities, and you can also drink and carouse with whores.

Just a suggestion.

BTW - doesn't the Hippocratic Oath frown upon treating patients while nursing a massive hangover?

Thought you moved to the Valley?  And we take a different oath.  Can't recall it right now.

Nah. We moved to an acre horse property here in town. It's like the country, but in the middle of Vegas.

Baby, if you have to take an antidepressant while you're near your lovey, it might be the best thing in the long run to have ended it.

Find a girl who is all about blowjobs. If you find yourself uncontrollably weeping during one, you might really have a chemical imbalance.

Fuck the antidepressant. Take a Valium and book a trip to Dizzee World or get laid. Splurge on an expensive hooker or something.

sofaking wrote:

Scotty wrote:

sofaking wrote:

You should just fly here and bet it all on black.

It would help to re-assess your priorities, and you can also drink and carouse with whores.

Just a suggestion.

BTW - doesn't the Hippocratic Oath frown upon treating patients while nursing a massive hangover?

Thought you moved to the Valley?  And we take a different oath.  Can't recall it right now.

Nah. We moved to an acre horse property here in town. It's like the country, but in the middle of Vegas.

Baby, if you have to take an antidepressant while you're near your lovey, it might be the best thing in the long run to have ended it.

Find a girl who is all about blowjobs. If you find yourself uncontrollably weeping during one, you might really have a chemical imbalance.

Fuck the antidepressant. Take a Valium and book a trip to Dizzee World or get laid. Splurge on an expensive hooker or something.

On the other hand, if you were taking Lexapro for any particular reason, you might want to reconsider, as you'll soon be finding yourself in bad shape and without your meds.  If they weren't working for anything in particular, then you still might want to reconsider even if you don't think it was helping, since Lexapro and it's kin are not happy pills, and the result might be less than satisfactory.

tojo2000 wrote:

On the other hand, if you were taking Lexapro for any particular reason, you might want to reconsider, as you'll soon be finding yourself in bad shape and without your meds.  If they weren't working for anything in particular, then you still might want to reconsider even if you don't think it was helping, since Lexapro and it's kin are not happy pills, and the result might be less than satisfactory.

yeah, I know.  I was hop[ing gfor fthe coma and perhaps a good old fashioned seratonin syndrome life threatening emergency.

sofaking wrote:

I know. Military brats fight for fun, even as adults.

*squares up*

Find you a mean bitch like me. Not hard to find in this day and age.

My old man did 20 years in the Corps.  Fucker.  Love him though.

Send her my way.

*EDIT* Respeck

Last edited by Scotty (2008-08-11 21:07:02)

George Orr wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

...put some standup on the ipod (Bill Hicks, Patton Oswalt, Gallagher loses his charm, though)...

I am very close to someone who does exactly the same thing, except for the Gallagher.

Mom?!? Why did you leave us?

George Orr wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Mom?!? Why did you leave us?

'Cause you were whiny pussies and I was tired of your shit.

That's my mama!

ah297900 wrote:

It takes a lot to emotionally destroy a person. It hasn't happened to you yet, so this probably isn't going to do it either. Suck it up and muddle through for a while, and sooner or later this will recede to the background of your consciousness along with all the other Horrible Things that happen.

Ah Pook,

I like you.  But STFU afore I come hunt your Hoosier ass down.  You don;t know the half of emotionally destroyerd.  I got you beat in spades motherfucker.  I'm just not as free.  And if it wasnt for a crueller on yahoo I might actually be going through with the big S tonight in front of you guys.  And you better skewert the fuck out of me If i ever do.

*EDIT* Road Dog down.

Last edited by Scotty (2008-08-11 21:22:19)

Got some Red Tail and Guinness here to join the fun.  Somehow Guinness just doesn't seem right out of a bottle, but it's a lot better than nothing.

*swigs*

Ah, the tears add that certain je ne sais quoi that you just can't get anywhere else.

Um, I have kool-aid. And cooking wine. (retreats in shame)

karenw wrote:

Um, I have kool-aid. And cooking wine. (retreats in shame)

Cook down that kool-aid and blast that shit right in that golden arm of yours. Failing that, you can always smoke a banana.

Scotty wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Scotty wrote:

You aint gonna last here.

Looks like I'm on track to last longer than you, though.

Good job you fucknut.  You're getting the hang of it.

Thanks, RT>  I'm going driving.

The faster you go, the less time you have to spend driving drunk. That's fucking physics.

Scotty wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

Scotty wrote:

You aint gonna last here.

Looks like I'm on track to last longer than you, though.

Good job you fucknut.  You're getting the hang of it.

Thanks, RT>  I'm going driving.

Don't.

Scotty wrote:

jesusluvspegging wrote:

No dramamine?  No cough syrup?  Nothing?

I'm a chiropractor, JLP.  Most everything in my cabinets is natural.  It took an act of Congress for me to get on the Lexapro and it apparently isn't going to help the relationship so I figure I'll just finish the bottle.

"natural"

*snicker*

Humans are animals, so EVERYTHING WE MAKE IS FUCKING NATURAL.

Are you the good kind of chiropractor that pops your back into place, takes your money, and sends you home feeling relaxed, or are you the bad kind of chiropractor that does the same thing and claims it'll cure the flu?

phoQ wrote:

I go to Vegas for a few days and this thread happens.  I thought this was Kim’s blog.

jesusluvspegging wrote:

Humans are animals, so EVERYTHING WE MAKE IS FUCKING NATURAL.

By your reasoning everything in the universe is natural.  If so, why do we have the word?

So Hippie Harmony Products(tm) can sell St. John's Wort in massive doses to people who swear they will never take "chemicals".

Wow, talk about being late to the party...

Hi Scotty!  I'm a little disappointed in you, to be honest.  I mean, you're drinking some decent-enough beer, but you could be doing so much better!

Alright, moving on...

Awww, isn't this cute.  Some guy loses his squeeze of a year because she decides she'd rather move back in with mommy and daddy than put up with him anymore.  Keep your chin up, it's not your fault! 

I mean, sure, you could've been more of a "catch," and not something so easy to throw away.  Sure, you maybe could have listened to her a bit more, met more of her needs, laughed a little harder at her jokes... or maybe you can stop being such a faggot, man up, and get back out there.

Waaah, look at me, I'm upset so I'm going to turn to the "kindness" of strangers at a fucked-in-the-head website and hope they can make it all better, since I know I can't help myself...

Go to a bar, grab a few drinks, talk to whatever woman there that has even a semblence of interest in you, get some stank on your hang-down, wake up in the morning, rinse-repeat.

Or, go directly to your medicine cabinet and grab a handful of whatever you've got and see where that takes you.

Do whatever you want, except do NOT come here expecting any sympathy.  There are Streeters here carrying a helluva lot more baggage than you do, and I'm disappointed that so few have shown to put you down in your rightful place.

Kindness of strangers?  Bullshit.  If you are so naive that you honestly thought you'd find a shoulder to cry on here, it's no wonder she left you.

Pathetic.