You know who's the happiest with the deaths of MJ and Farrah today?  Mark Sanford.

Wait, Michael Jackson died?

When was this?

ptah13 wrote:

sofaking wrote:

He had a sad life.

Mr. Sofie's dad, Don (insert Mr. Sofie's last name), was his agent at William Morris back when he was with the Jackson 5 (he was fired when Michael went out on his own.).

Mr. Sofie, his 2 sisters and his brother went roller skating with them in the '70s, and it was sad. Like as in "bought friends" kind of sad.

In case you think I'm kidding.

Thanks.

I've added a new push-pin on the "Ptah's places to visit!" map!

Do you stock a lot of good tequila, or should I bring my own?

Do you prefer 'shrooms or L?

Not so big on alcohol. Mah kidneys are FUCKED!

'Shrooms are always nice.

If you read the excerpt from Jerry Heller's book, he represented all the people you hippies loved so much in the 60's. In the '70s and '80s he switched to R&B and rap. In the '90s, he repped Gladys Knight (she's a Mormon now, and lives about 3 miles from us) and Ray Charles. He is very old now, and retired.

He also cannot stand rock music. Or any music. Or his kids. Or anything.

He's a complete prick.

If I had to pick between meeting some famous people and getting good concert tickets, and having a dad that was around and gave a shit, guess what I'd pick?

There's a reason Harold and Maude is my favorite movie. I had my work cut out for me when I paired up with Mr. Sofie.

I, for one, am looking forward to the day the autopsy findings are leaked.  I want to read all about the multiple plastic surgeries.  After that I will completely lose interest in this story.

Scotty wrote:

Murder Was the Case...

With apologies to Snoop and Dre.

I'm sure Obama had him taken out.

(to take attention away from cap-n-trade and card-check voting going on today)




I'm only kidding, you fuckers. I don't do politics anymore.

orangeplus wrote:

MJ died of food poisoning, not cardiac arrest. Minutes before his death he had ingested a 9 year old weiner.

Don't make those jokes over here in the East Bay.  The black community was really upset last night.  My white, quadriplegic friend made a Michael Jackson joke, and didn’t want to go back into the bar because of the hostility. I was hated for arguing Elvis was just as big.

orangeplus wrote:

MJ died of food poisoning, not cardiac arrest. Minutes before his death he had ingested a 9 year old weiner.

*jaw drops*

Good one.

Poor Conan O'Brien is fucked on this one. So many jokes, and no chance in hell the network will let him say even one.

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, and went through the pearly gates, she was greeted by God.

"Wow!" exclaimed the Holy Ghost. "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red suit!"
... Read More
Farrah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord."

Jehovah goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"

Not one to act selfish and change God's opinion of her, Farrah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."

"Done!"

orangeplus wrote:

Seriously though, I heard that Target stores are having a remembrance sale.  1/2 price off boys underwear

it’s boy’s underwear half off. 

Farrah and Michael died on the same day.  She was into Majors and he was into minors.

Look, love you guys, but neither of you should quit your day jobs. Please.

Last edited by icangetyouatoe (2009-06-26 16:23:52)

Will his organs continue to be donated to children?

Because he’s dead, they’re canceling all of his up-coming dates.  They were Billy(age 8) and Tommy(age 6)

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney films?
Disney films can still touch kids.

Jackson leaves library of ~100 unreleased songs behind

As with all limey news sites, the gold is in the comments:

Actually, I don't think michael will be showing JESUS how to moonwalk. I think michael will be bowing down to THE LORD JESUS, thanking him for giving him the talent to moonwalk in the first place.
michael, your talent was truly GOD given. Rest in peace, I can't believe you are gone.

CIL, London, United kingdom

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2009-06-26 20:13:52)

George Orr wrote:

JOHN ROGERS and JAKE COYLE wrote:

The House of Representatives observed a moment of silence.

...the fuck?!

..You know, I've only just now realized that we're in for a shitton of collectable plates, coins, figurines, (God help us) musical figurines, velvet paintings, dildo cozies...and the purveyors will have a variety of faces to choose from, unlike the Elvis freaks, who only have two.

I'm sure the Franklin Mint is cranking them up as we speak. 

And ol' Ben is rolling in his grave.

2008-03-14 07:23:01
Taint

"Michael Jackson: Does she or doesn't she?"

2008-08-25 12:21:19
pALEPHx

The term "off-color" is certainly going to take on new meaning in the next few months.

2008-11-07 05:39:04
scarydog

Michael Jackson wearing an abaya, a traditional women's veil and gown, holds the hand of a child in Manama, Bahrain.

2009-02-13 12:17:27
orangeplus

I curse your fucking name for posting this lame ass shit. Holy Shit! Michael Jackson got a fucking infection, STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING PRESSES!!!!!!!

Next group of marchers:

We're here!
We're Trannies!
We're Fabulous!
Don't Fuck With Us!

orangeplus wrote:

As I am typing this a parade of lesbian women of color brides are marching below my window. And no, I am not exaggerating, they're chants are so complex I can't follow them.

Well, it IS Gay Pride Weekend in many cities.

This morning, Google News listed about 12,000 articles each for Jackson and Iran. Right now, it's 20,000 MJ and 5000 Iran.

orange is right.

Shit needs to get done and you have no business hearing about it!

Quit worrying about the silly world events. Pay no attention to what is going on with Iran, Korea, Iraq, the EU, your own congress. You can talk about that some other time.

Those things are unimportant when it comes to Michael!!!!

C'mon now, let's all remember where we were when MTV had the World Premiere Video showing of Thriller?

Me? The "Big Red Barn" skating rink. Yeah, you know it. I was wearing my red leather pants, with snaps (snapped, I looked like the cover of a "Loverboy" album, unsnapped, I looked like MC Hammer, although this was way before his time).

Man, there wasn't a person on the rink floor when they threw it up on the big projection screen in the skate cafe! Everyone was crowed around and they put the sound through the entire rink sound system.

Not that I was really into MJ. Sure, I owned the red and black "Thriller" jacket. It was a silk version, made by Sergio Valente, identical all but in material. Some dude in my school named "Moses" called me Michael Jacket. We ended up fighting about it. My claim was that I was really into the red-n-black thing and I purchased the jacket BEFORE Thriller came out. That's my story and I sticking to it.

I do have a picture, and someone on this board has seen it (and laughed hysterically) of myself in the pants, just not in the jacket.

Anyway, when you looked and dressed like I did, DURING THAT TIME, and your girlfriends' name is Candy, life is nothing but good!

Don't pay any attention to that silly TV. Look at the monkey! LOOK AT THE MONKEY!!!

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed message board, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is Chewbacca (see below). Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Last edited by ptah13 (2009-06-27 01:10:27)

Tall Paul wrote:

I've been lurking since the days of Cruel, but the prospect of the shit you all are going to dump on the little dead white guy just MADE me have to sign up...PLEASE don't disappoint!

That's available only to paying members (Just $59.95 for six months, or $18.95 per month). On the other hand, if you're hot and post nude photos of yourself that appeal to either the gay High Street residents or straight female residents, we'll give you the first two months free.

George Orr wrote:

Oh, and Steve Martin was a physical comedian of absolute genius, as evidenced in those clips above.  (I say "was" because the man's somewhat geriatric at this point and I doubt he can make those moves any more.)

And that film he mentioned, Pennies From Heaven, is well worth seeing if you haven't; it wasn't what audiences were expecting from Comedy Guy Steve Martin and they stayed away in droves, but it's a very interesting film, like some dark dream.

You know what else is just awesome about him?

He is a serious art collector, and he showed his collection at Bellagio about 5 years ago.

He could have been a total dick, and keet it to himself, but he was cool enough to share it with the public (for a small fee, to keep up the art museum).

ptah13 wrote:

What do you expect, he was born a poor black child.

Just like--*gasp*--Michael Jackson!!!

sofaking wrote:

He could have been a total dick, and keet it to himself, but he was cool enough to share it with the public (for a small fee, to keep up the art museum).

If you paid a not so small fee to see Steve Martin perform in the middle 70s, you KNOW he's a total dick, an easily distracted, wild & crazy prima donna, rivalling only Van Morrison for show stopping, onstage hissies. Martin hustled behind the studio sound stage as fast as his happy little feets could carry him.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by choad (2009-06-28 09:00:29)