#2 2009-12-23 21:16:10
This went out this year as our holiday greeting to our MySpace friends along with Pale's Goatse holiday banner.
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#4 2009-12-23 21:31:10
I really don't like Season All. I kinda like Old Bay, myself.
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#6 2009-12-23 21:35:24
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#8 2009-12-24 08:09:55
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#9 2009-12-24 12:20:44
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#10 2009-12-24 13:30:26
I and and a few friends will be observing the traditional Jewish Christmas this evening: we're going out for Chinese food.
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#11 2009-12-24 14:56:10
Merry Christmas, Georgie! Who loves ya?
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#12 2009-12-24 15:27:06
http://www.dosenation.com/listing.php?id=5571
'A Christmas Antidote'
by Clark Heinrich
Twas the night before solstice and all through the house
all the hipsters were tripping, as quiet as a mouse.
Set and setting were chosen with exquisite care
in hopes that the gods would soon manifest there.
The children were wondering what had gone wrong
so they stayed in their room and just sucked on their bong.
And Ma with her glowsticks and me with my caps
were floating in hyperspace, digging the haps.
When what to my open third eye should appear
but a DMT elf with a flourescent beard.
His image appeared to me in a flash--
and I was so startled I threw up my hash!
His colors reflected on the new-fallen snow--
I was so shocked that I needed some blow.
He sat in a sleigh that was pulled by eight mice--
they were so freaky I had to look twice.
By now all my mushrooms were taking their toll,
so I looked around for some ganja to roll.
But the dude in the sleigh took out a pink pipe
and said, DMT, man--I think that you're ripe.
Well, I'd never tried it so I took a huge hit
and quickly looked 'round for someplace to sit.
But it was too late and I fell to the ground
as my head filled with colors, my ears filled with sound.
"Holy shit!" I cried out and this woke up the kids
who rushed in to see us both flipping our lids.
But they laughed when they saw the strange glowing elf,
while I tried to gain some control of myself.
He winked all four eyes and then twisted his head,
and I thought for a moment that he must be dead.
But he only giggled and went straight to his work,
and I dropped the pipe and he called me a jerk.
DMT spilled all over and mixed with my coke--
he glared with his four eyes and said "You're a joke."
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
he snorted it all, and then up he rose.
He flew to his sleigh and said "mush!" to his team,
but they were stoned too and flew into a beam.
And I heard him exclaim as he fell out of sight,
"Well, I should have known--set and setting weren't right!"
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#14 2009-12-24 16:03:30
The magic of Christmas.
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#16 2009-12-24 16:18:09
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#17 2009-12-24 17:52:58
Remember kids, Just Say Ho (ho ho).
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#18 2009-12-24 18:19:14
You called Nancy a Ho 3 TIMES? Just because she sat on Mr. T's lap? Harsh. Just because it's your 1974th birthday doesn't give you the right to disrespect your elders.
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#19 2009-12-24 18:43:22
Bigcat wrote:
You called Nancy a Ho 3 TIMES? Just because she sat on Mr. T's lap? Harsh. Just because it's your 1974th birthday doesn't give you the right to disrespect your elders.
Oh, puleeze Bigcat. She couldn't be older than eight or 900 years old. She doesn't look a day over 675.
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#20 2009-12-24 18:53:57
Still no reason for name-calling.
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#21 2009-12-24 19:00:31
I'm just saying, I gave her money and weapons in exchange for sexual relations.
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#22 2009-12-24 19:06:55
And to all a good night. An 8-year old Pia Zadora is in this as a Martian kid.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
Last edited by sigmoid freud (2009-12-24 19:08:21)
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#23 2009-12-25 00:35:42
Merry Krampus, Bitches. The second coming ain't.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#24 2009-12-25 00:42:46
Good GOD, I'm fucked up.
I can't believe my sister and her family are going out and partying some more after all we drank. I can't go out because I'm Santa (shhhh. Don't tell anyone.).
I have no alcohol tolerance whatsoever. A cheap date.
http://www.warmandfuzzyfeeling.com/
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#25 2009-12-25 00:51:36
sofaking wrote:
Good GOD, I'm fucked up...I have no alcohol tolerance whatsoever. A cheap date.
You poor dear.
If you'll just post an address and a phone number, one of us can be right over to, you know, hold your hand and stuff.
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#26 2009-12-25 03:17:50
sigmoid freud wrote:
https://cruelery.com/uploads/34_santa-c … poster.jpg
And to all a good night. An 8-year old Pia Zadora is in this as a Martian kid.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#27 2009-12-25 12:19:44
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#29 2009-12-25 14:30:21
This from Andy McCarthy - sick-makingly politically correct (on purpose, of course):
To All My Liberal Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
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#30 2009-12-25 20:33:56
Every four year old needs an imaginary friend
Happy My birthday (observed) to all of you.
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#31 2009-12-25 22:08:39
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
Last edited by fnord (2009-12-25 22:09:41)
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#32 2009-12-26 17:18:32
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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