#1 2012-07-10 13:47:09

.....or any guys who might want to pipe in.

Getting ready for an epic (possibly divorce/manslaughter inducing) prank.  So as briefly as possible, please tell me the absolute worst thing you might find in your significant other's browsing history.  The target is a hetero male, non-religious, considers himself "open minded" but is really a sanctimonious douche bag incapable of independent thought.

No he is not a poster on this board.

Depending on legal ramifications, prank may or may not involve actually putting said content on subject's computer.  Prank will be executed by two real life LEOs, both friends of target's significant other.  Prank is a request of said significant other.

I've already come up with a few staples, but would love some ideas from this crew of malcontents.

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#2 2012-07-10 15:01:57

I'll start by recommending you NOT do this, as I believe impersonating a person on a computer is a federal felony and can open you up for a whoopass amount of trouble.

That being said, I think some of the worst things I could find on a partner's 'puter would be:

1. Kiddie porn links, especially those with sad little faces and obvious abuse.
2. Links to instructions on how to successfully and covertly snuff your spouse.
3. Multiple visits to STD treatment / info sites.
4. Multiple hits to MoveOn or FreeRepublic... pick one.

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#3 2012-07-10 15:59:47

Gay Match.com profile?

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#4 2012-07-10 16:05:47

whosasailorthen wrote:

I'll start by recommending you NOT do this, as I believe impersonating a person on a computer is a federal felony and can open you up for a whoopass amount of trouble.

I seriously recommend you read and heed the above.

That being said; only a fool gets caught, and by what you have already posted that could be your future MOS.

Then again, it's all a joke... 

Last edited by MSG Tripps (2012-07-10 16:18:59)

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#5 2012-07-10 16:18:57

Bigcat wrote:

Gay Match.com profile?

Eh.  Gay is far too mainstream now to be used as a weapon... he could just claim to be "experimenting with his sexuality" and "exploring what's out there".  These days that's just far too common. Besides, over 12% of women have had a same-sex experience at one time in their life, so she's not gonna be terribly shocked or upset.

Go for the seriously sick stuff IMHO.   

However, again, I advise you do NOT do this, for reasons stated.

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#6 2012-07-10 16:28:36

I believe impersonating a person on a computer is a federal felony

I assume the idea is to place the spoofed sites in history, but not actually visit them with the guy's computer.  In this case I don't see how you could be accused of impersonating another.  However, if you visit kiddie porn sites using the mark's machine, the shite will certainly hit the fan.

A bogus email thread with a 14 year old he met while trolling Facebook could be found in his deleted folder.  That would be difficult to explain.

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#7 2012-07-10 16:33:07

Bestiality +"Picts of him"submissive + Photoshop = "Mission Accomplished"

Dump the 'chopped photo's in his picture folder and use computer policy to turn on the slide show screensaver.

Last edited by Emmeran (2012-07-10 16:33:25)

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#8 2012-07-10 16:39:42

Clarification - no laws will be violated in the course of this prank.

Also, I'm just fishing for ideas.  I ain't doin' shit.  If she has the brass needed to actually pull this off, I will do my best to provide phots or vid.

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#9 2012-07-10 17:16:47

XregnaR wrote:

The target is a hetero male, non-religious, considers himself "open minded" but is really a sanctimonious douche bag incapable of independent thought.

Forget about it. Your brother will spend the rest of his life getting even.

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#10 2012-07-10 18:24:09

What about a whole passel of sounding fetish sites? I hope shoving things in your dickhole hasn't become too mainstream.

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#11 2012-07-10 19:56:29

ah297900 wrote:

What about a whole passel of sounding fetish sites? I hope shoving things in your dickhole hasn't become too mainstream.

Who the fuck is this?

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#12 2012-07-11 03:54:10

MSG Tripps wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

What about a whole passel of sounding fetish sites? I hope shoving things in your dickhole hasn't become too mainstream.

Who the fuck is this?

Someone who's been around here for a few years, and who clearly appreciates the kinkier things the web has to offer.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/13_penis_sounding.jpg



Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#13 2012-07-11 14:33:37

fnord wrote:

MSG Tripps wrote:

ah297900 wrote:

What about a whole passel of sounding fetish sites? I hope shoving things in your dickhole hasn't become too mainstream.

Who the fuck is this?

Someone who's been around here for a few years, and who clearly appreciates the kinkier things the web has to offer.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/13_penis_sounding.jpg

Well, at least he's using a nice pair of http://www.toolsatoz.com/images/uploads/channellock_logo.png pliers, and not some no-name brand.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#14 2012-07-11 20:03:24

I would suggest a bunch of those adult-baby diapering sites--the simpering faces in those photos squick me out worse'n sounding pics, even--and lots of photos of ugly men in drag.

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#15 2012-07-11 23:36:29

George Orr wrote:

I would suggest a bunch of those adult-baby diapering sites--the simpering faces in those photos squick me out worse'n sounding pics, even--and lots of photos of ugly men in drag.

Ok, campers, put down the jarts, this summer's prank competition is a Rule 34 greatest hits collection. The winning entry, judged over parents weekend by an all girl jury, wins a medicinal lid.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#16 2012-07-12 00:16:45

XregnaR wrote:

The target is a hetero male, non-religious, considers himself "open minded" but is really a sanctimonious douche bag incapable of independent thought.

Porn's so boring.

Try PETA/vegan/new age crap.

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#17 2012-07-12 01:02:37

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/managementtraining.jpg


~ click ~

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#18 2012-07-12 01:20:56

sigmoid freud wrote:

Porn's so boring.

In previous posts you have announced your relative (or perhaps complete) impotence, due to age-related factors. That might explain your ennui. Those of us with raging, rock-hard erections beg your indulgence - perhaps you could look away.

If you want to hit someone hard, sex is an excellent choice, since it remains in top place at the center of  human hypocrisy. Sex has the added benefit of association - even when the fraud is discovered, his presence or image will forever invoke the thought and smell of abberant and lubricious orifice. Furthermore, the association will hurt his self esteem. I like George's suggestion, but I would rather be one of those than one of these.

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#19 2012-07-12 08:43:38

Oh Choad, I do like the way your mind works.  unfortunately the mark would not display the morbid terror I so hope to instill....

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#20 2012-07-12 09:01:40

XregnaR wrote:

unfortunately the mark would not display the morbid terror I so hope to instill....

If douchnozzle's siblings or cousins can't make child's work of that mission, no one can.

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#21 2012-07-13 01:52:11

Wow, Wilb, you're good. Do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

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#22 2012-07-13 04:49:52

sigmoid freud wrote:

Wow, Wilb, you're good. Do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

Sorry Siggy, I'm strictly a Bat-man.
http://images.uncyc.org/commons/thumb/f/f8/'_batman.JPG/131px-'_batman.JPG

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#23 2012-07-13 05:00:07

George Orr wrote:

. . . the simpering faces in those photos squick me out worse'n sounding pics . . .

Quoth the phallus-less (Never-More).  You can-not imagine the sympathy pains that the vibrator/sounding video left me with*.

* Reference to Crueler days.

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