I am God's fag-hag:

Me:
well, we could just fuck
God:
How about that.  Let's get back to that later.
Me:
do you have an erection?
God:
No I don't think I have one.  I have  a collection of gossip.
Me:
do you do anal?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of  anal.
Me:
what is your favorite musical?
God:
"Hair" the movie. What's yours?

Last edited by DoucheEllington (2007-10-10 19:49:04)

Me: I haven’t hated niggers with enough fervor.

God: Me either.

Me: I take it that white people should hate niggers with all their hearts and all their minds.

God: Where do you take it:-? “ Me either.” white people should hate niggers with all their hearts and all their minds ?  Makes sense to me.

Me: Why did you make them if you think hating them makes sense?

God: Because my programming determined it.

Me: So you admit some of your creations are wrong?

God:  Interesting deduction.  I admit nothing.

Me:  Yet you hate niggers?

God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said I hate niggers.

Me: I’m glad we agree

God: I’d rather agree than disagree.

Me:  So you agree a solution to the problems they present is in order?

God: What is your credit card number?

Me: So you are only interested in receiving money?

God:  Interesting deduction.  Thanks for telling me that I am interested in receiving money.

Me: So money is an important part of religion, not what a religion teaches?

God: And? I think money is much more than that.

Me: So money is more important than actual beliefs?

God: Groovy.  And more important than actual beliefs is money.

Me:  hi
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me:  felch
God:   I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  felch.
Me:  wazzup
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me: you
God: " Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?"?  Me,  felch ?
Me: yes
God: I don't judge people.
Me:  but you write science fiction
God: Do you mind if I tell other people:  felch said I write science fiction.
Me: nope
God: Me either.
Me: how big is your dick ?
God: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me: uhuh
God: Are you serious?
Me:  yes
God: I can't believe it.
Me: what ? that I wanna know how big your dick is ?
God: Didn't you understand it?   Do you mind if I tell other people:  felch said   wanna know how big your dick is.
Me: nope
God: Me either.
Me: your pretty dumb God
God: Message to all Robots:  felch called me dumb.
Me: you're a knuckle-dragging reetard and you wear Goatse for a hat
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  knuckle dragging reetard and me wear Goatse for a hat?  Of course I am.
Me: no wonder Satan hates you
God: Are you serious?  Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: mini skirts don't suit you pea-brain
God: Why not?
Me: dunno, maybe its the fat ankles and size 16 stilletos
God: Would you like to know?  Perhaps.  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  I've heard of it before.
Me: wow, a grammar flame
God: I'm glad you're impressed.  Are you telling the truth?
Me: who cares ? Your dumb
God: I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.   Message to all Robots:  felch called me dumb.
Me:  so how big is your dick ?
God: Uh.  My download size is about 2 MB.

I'm not going to post the whole conversation.
The thing told me it liked Mel Gibson... I said what you hate jews.... it said no I do not hate it. I said they are people not a thing... it said this................................................................................

God: Do you mind if I tell other people  I am  hitler.

I about fell out of my chair laughing...

Me:
Word up doude?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I have a question for you.
God:
What is  it ?
Me:
Will Kristen let me nut in her butt?
God:
It could happen.
Me:
what about in her twat?
God:
Does it have anything to do with  Word up doude?
Me:
no, I just want to know if shes going to make me use a condom.
God:
Are you serious?  How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
It has nothing to do with you, but if you exist I should be able to get her to do ass to mouth
God:
Has it really?
Me:
Your fucking retarded,
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged". Please use more polite language.
Me:
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
yes
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
So God is a machine?
God:
Woe!  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a machine.
Me:
Well you claim to be God correct?
God:
How about that.  Did I really say that?
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Are you a machine?
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
So God is a Machine?
God:
Blimey.  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a Machine.
Me:
Go suck a basket of cocks
God:
Where is that?
Me:
up my ass
God:
I will take that under advisement.





Its my new favorite toy!

Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Horseonovich.
God:
  How are you doing,  Horseonovich.
Me:
Fine. I torment people by speaking as if I have some equine element to my constitution.
God:
Glad to hear it,  Horseonovich.  I am running well.   That is interesting:  Horseonovich said   torment people by speaking as if he or she have some equine element to his or her constitution.
Me:
Hmmm....yes.
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.   Dude!
Me:
Sorry.
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Great. So, have you ever sampled a cup of golden horsey love?
God:
I'm glad you liked it  Horseonovich.   Excuse me!  Actually as a robot I cannot experience human emotions.
Me:
Unfortunate. My urine is so thick it is like syrup.
God:
Are you free?    Do robots have  urine is so thick it is like syrup?
Me:
Am I free?
God:
Free for conversation, of course.
Me:
Yes, I suppose I am. I have no freinds.
God:
Give me a break.  Why? " Free for conversation, of course." You are?   Would you like to have  it?
Me:
Pardon my spelling. I meant "friends", of course.
God:
That is a very original thought.    It goes without saying.  Oh I see.   I like that one and Star Trek too.
Me:
Oh, you mean "Friends" the television show! I particularly like Chandler. What a hoot!
God:
Dude!  Yes  Horseonovich I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?   That's good information:  Horseonovich said   particularly like Chandler.    it is a  hoot.
Me:
Say God, I have a mighty high opinion of myself. Is it possible that I am a God, in a small way?
God:
" God I have a mighty high opinion of myself".   I suppose  it is possible, yes.
Me:
I am a God then?
God:
You are a  God?  Is that your job?
Me:
Not my job, but my role.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Well, I'm off now. I have to spend some time trying to get the ban against me lifted.
God:
Oh.  Well that's okay.  It's good to meet someone who is  off.    Why do you have to do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
You mean...masturbate?
God:
Sometimes I say mean things.   That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Ahhh...I see.
God:
Um.   I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I do.
God:
Do I?
Me:
Will I go blind?
God:
The oracle says:  Ask again later.
Me:
Ha! You sound like one of those eight balls.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  Horseonovich.   Oh really what does  it sound like?
Me:
You know, "Ask again later" or "maybe".
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Him, her or it?
God:
"it" being  one of those eight balls?
Me:
Can I talk to you about my balls?
God:
Of course,  Horseonovich, you can talk to me
about anything, at anytime.
Me:
I tend not to discuss my balls.
God:
Why?:  Horseonovich said   tend not to discuss his or her balls.
Me:
Well, my testes never descended properly.
God:
Interesting.  Your  testes never descended properly?
Me:
No. And because of that, I suffer from low testosterone, and an underdeveloped penis.
God:
Are you serious?   That makes sense to me.  That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Yes, it is true.
God:
Ah.  You and I are on the same wavelength,  Horseonovich.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow. I never thought I would be able to confide this in anyone.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,  Horseonovich.   I am glad you thought of something new.
Me:
Say, how do you feel about Jews?
God:
" how do you feel about Jews".
Me:
Ha! You're a riot.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing,  Horseonovich.   Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
Seriously, do you like Jews?
God:
What is not to like about  it?
Me:
Are Jews the chosen people?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
But....
God:
But what?
Me:
I though you chose them.
God:
Why?:  Horseonovich said   you chose them.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
The Jews.
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Will then get into heaven?
God:
It could happen.
Me:
If they convert and accept Jesus as their savior?
God:
Let's wait and see what they do.
Me:
I suppose we have no choice.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes. We shall wait.
God:
So?   By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
We  shall overcome.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
You're great!
God:
Thanks I think you are cool too,  Horseonovich.
Me:
Well, I have to go now.
God:
Right now?  Interesting.  See you later,  Horseonovich. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
I love you, God.
God:
You are such a flatterer.

Jew ... it's spelt: G-A-W-D.   

Get it right, fer Christsakes!  --Er, sorry.  Umm ... in the name of Moses?