Johnny_Rotten wrote:

sofaking wrote:

MSG Tripps wrote:

Twinings Earl Grey [loose] and no other.

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/2029 … reyys0.jpg

[It is possible I am addicted to bergamot.]

Twinings is an excellent brand. Hard to find here in Hendertucky, Nevada, though.

Bergamot is great in handmade perfumes (mixed with vanilla), as well as tea.

That's weird. In the Mid Atlantic Twinnings has always been a staple of supermarket shelves since my childhood. Before the advent of the bourgeois boutique branding it was the only semi premium you could find.

We just recently got Whole Foods here at the District at Green Valley Ranch, and Sunflower Market (. It's getting better, but when I first moved here, I was bummed about the selections. If something doesn't sell, it's pulled. Like the langostinos from Trader Joe's that I used to use in lobster bisque.

Philistine phuckers.

I remember many hot Arkansas summers working in the garden or in the back pastures with my father. Around lunch time my mother would bring us lunch and mason jars of iced tea, with beads of condensation dripping down the sides. A welcome site that. I may be a tea Nazi, but properly made iced tea on a sultry day is one life's great pleasures. Well, that, and a good blow job.

Dirckman wrote:

We look down our noses at tea baggers!!

You should be more careful about where you sleep then.

whiskytangofoxtrot wrote:

Taint wrote:

See that man on the left, standing on the sidewalk? He probably puts milk in his tea, which is a terrible thing to do to tea.

Naahh, he probably dips his balls in it.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/6_dip_balls.jpg

God I used to love that show.

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When I feel particularly down I sleep with my shotgun. It comforts me like only two other things can: a blowjob from a pretty girl half my age (with lots of ball-sucking), and a nice cuppa tea. In my final hour, when the infirmities of old age weigh too heavily on my wearied brow, I will embrace old Betsy's wood and steel one last time, before splattering my skull and brains on the bedroom wall. But first, I'll make a final cup of tea. The problem arises, however: which tea? I have many. As much as I love matcha, its bitterness might echo my own too closely, and the extra potency of its caffeine might drive me to distraction. A Tie Kwan Yin might work, with its sweet flowery flavour bolstered by deep woody undertones...light and dark combined could easily suit my mood. Or do I want to remind myself of my former life as a bush-hermit, with the exotic smokey goodness of a lapsang souchong? Penultimately, I will have to wait and see what I'm in the mood for.

Which leads me to this brain-fart-provoking question: what might YOU want to do in the final five minutes before you steel your nerves and put an end to it all? Join me for a cup of tea? Or have you other plans....

Mushroom clouds over Tokyo and London, New York and Boston are next, five minutes, tops.

Light up for one last wank? Nope, not while there's a brick here for my asshole neighbor's front window.  Fuck it, I may not wait.

George Orr wrote:

Five minutes is enough time for a human female to masturbate to orgasm.

If I'm too infirm for that in my last five, I'll be listening to "Dear Prudence" from the White Album.  I'll have time to hear it twice.

Haha...clearly, my dear, you've fallen prey to the myth of the female orgasm. Trust me - I know what of I speak. I have had many many girlfriends, and not once have I have ever seen one even begin to have an orgasm. Quod Erat Ergo Sum.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Five minutes is enough time for a human female to masturbate to orgasm.

If I'm too infirm for that in my last five, I'll be listening to "Dear Prudence" from the White Album.  I'll have time to hear it twice.

Haha...clearly, my dear, you've fallen prey to the myth of the female orgasm. Trust me - I know what of I speak. I have had many many girlfriends, and not once have I ever seen one even begin to have an orgasm. Quod Erat Ergo Sum.

phreddy wrote:

Wilber wrote:

Haha...clearly, my dear, you've fallen prey to the myth of the female orgasm. Trust me - I know what of I speak. I have had many many girlfriends, and not once have I have ever seen one even begin to have an orgasm. Quod Erat Ergo Sum.

Wilber my friend, you apparently are not as good at cunt licking as you boast.

I only do it for the flavour.

Looks like Willie is talking to himself again...and no, I didn't peek, it's funny enough to see three posts in a row with no responses....even I have never done that.

jlp, I agree, it is tiresome and a waste of space, but he won't listen, he obviously has no talent for finding links, even less with images....the only thing he can think of is to torment me. I believe most will agree, I can be irritating at times, but at least I give good banner...(most of the time)

whosasailorthen wrote:

I've already worked out my final gig.  I'm taking my Cobra out on the Pacific Coast Highway (or whatever highway I'm nearest with a reasonably high danger of falling or causing mortal bodily harm)... and putting a brick on the accelerator.  I'll hang on for as long as I'm able, pipes roaring and tires squealing, negotiating as many curves as I possibly can at ridiculously high speeds until I miss one.......... just one........... then it's all over.... what's left of me you'll be able to scrape up with a putty knife.

.......And nobody but me will ever drive that sexy, beautiful rocket ever again.  *EVER*

Oh, and I'll leave a note with wishes to put the whole mess - me included - into the crusher, form it into a cube and bury me in it.  They probably won't do it, but what the hell.

That's a good one.  I'm holding out for death by meteor.  Preferably one about the size of a small grapefruit right through the middle of my chest, so that I'm conscious just long enough to know what happened.

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2008-04-30 21:32:51)

jesusluvspegging wrote:

That's a good one.  I'm holding out for death by meteor.  Preferably one about the size of a small grapefruit right through the middle of my chest, so that I'm conscious just long enough to know what happened.

I think the first ones are already spoken for. You will have to get in line.



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Ha. I'm resurrecting to haunt every one of you.

whosasailorthen wrote:

choad wrote:

Ha. I'm resurrecting to haunt every one of you.

I thought you already did?

Fucking viagra.....

opsec wrote:

If I send you a nice canvas for your bedroom wall, will you sign it first?

Gouache it up, Ops. Maybe I'll write a four or five page po-mo art essay to hang beside. Something on factory farming or the tyranny of the penis. (Speaking of which, mine is quite large...not as big as Rasputin's, but still too nice to be lost with my demise. I'd like to send it to a young lady I know as a momento mori, that she might turn herself inside-out with me in absentia Anyone know a good taxidermist?) Back to the death act, I'm still debating whether to eat the barrel, or place it against my forehead. The mouth route seems surer, but I dunno...maybe a little homo? Besides...it would interfere with the flavour of my final tea.

Taint wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

opsec wrote:

If I send you a nice canvas for your bedroom wall, will you sign it first?

Gouache it up, Ops. Maybe I'll write a four or five page po-mo art essay to hang beside. Something on factory farming or the tyranny of the penis. (Speaking of which, mine is quite large...not as big as Rasputin's, but still too nice to be lost with my demise. I'd like to send it to a young lady I know as a momento mori, that she might turn herself inside-out with me in absentia Anyone know a good taxidermist?) Back to the death act, I'm still debating whether to eat the barrel, or place it against my forehead. The mouth route seems surer, but I dunno...maybe a little homo? Besides...it would interfere with the flavour of my final tea.

Have you considered steeping the bullet in your favorite brew first?

It's a shotgun, Taint. I could use the 9mm, but Ops' canvas would be just another supremacist composition (with a small hole in the middle).

opsec wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

It's a shotgun, Taint. I could use the 9mm, but Ops' canvas would be just another supremacist composition (with a small hole in the middle).

Entry and exit angles, load and shot size, mouth or forehead (although I think a temple shot might be artistic, if a little awkward)... all things you'll need to mull over that cuppa.  A sawed-off would be a nice touch, but they're illegal.

So much to think about. I've already thought out the awkwardness - a string betwixt trigger and toe will do nicely. To be honest, all I have at the moment is bird shot, and I'm not going to spend money on something I'll only have a hundredth of a second to enjoy. Since suicide is illegal anyways, I could shorten the barrel and widen the splatter pattern...but I won't. Ole Betsy was my grandfather's gun, and I'd hate to have to tell the general that I've been fucking with his firearms.

whosasailorthen wrote:

Just don't FAIL.

http://server3.internetdump.com/users/e … /Face2.jpg

Have to wonder why he didn't quickly re-aim and pull the trigger again. My bet: he's a suicide POSER!

Tea Causes Man To Fail Drug Test