#1 2008-12-22 02:49:59
What could be crueler for your Monday?
Edit: fixed the code - tojo2000
Last edited by tojo2000 (2008-12-22 02:51:21)
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#2 2008-12-22 03:19:45
You know, it wasn't called the Slap Chop, but I used to have one of these things from the Pampered Chef. It's great for chopping garlic, onions, shallots, etc.
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#3 2008-12-22 03:25:56
tojo2000 wrote:
You know, it wasn't called the Slap Chop, but I used to have one of these things from the Pampered Chef. It's great for chopping garlic, onions, shallots, etc.
So is a prep cook.
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#4 2008-12-22 03:29:10
Taint wrote:
tojo2000 wrote:
You know, it wasn't called the Slap Chop, but I used to have one of these things from the Pampered Chef. It's great for chopping garlic, onions, shallots, etc.
So is a prep cook.
Yes, but I find that they get extremely upset if you try to stuff them into the kitchen drawer.
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#5 2008-12-22 09:21:01
"You're gonna love my nuts!"
Perhaps not.
But if they're nicely shaved, maybe HKG will have a go.
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#6 2008-12-22 10:54:03
I do love his nuts, but my mommy gave me one of these that she'd been given, and I don't like it. I gave it to a friend. The food processor is easier.
For salads - a mandoline.
For recipes - a food processor.
For everything else - an Ulu or chef's knife.
Last edited by sofaking (2008-12-22 11:00:26)
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#7 2008-12-22 11:01:09
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
I find a pan flute to be far more effective.
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#8 2008-12-22 11:03:27
jesusluvspegging wrote:
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
I find a pan flute to be far more effective.
Not a mandolin. A mandoline.
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#9 2008-12-22 12:52:00
You must admit old Vince is a pretty damn good pitch man. If I had some gadget to sell, I'd be looking him up. No, I haven't purchased a Sham Wow.
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#10 2008-12-22 13:16:11
sofaking wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
I find a pan flute to be far more effective.
Not a mandolin. A mandoline.
I find the violine pairs very nicely with the mandoline.
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#11 2008-12-22 13:30:11
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
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#13 2008-12-22 14:24:15
sofaking wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
I find a pan flute to be far more effective.
Not a mandolin. A mandoline.
Oooooh!! That's what it's called. I always just ask my kids to get me the Pampered Chef slicey-cutty-thingy.
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#14 2008-12-22 16:32:12
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
For recipes - a food processor.
For everything else - an Ulu or chef's knife.
Amen. One last piece of unsolicited advice. Every cuisinart sells with a surprisingly well written 50 page pamphlet. Master that and you'll know how to cook.
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#15 2008-12-22 16:33:19
choad wrote:
sofaking wrote:
For salads - a mandoline.
For recipes - a food processor.
For everything else - an Ulu or chef's knife.Amen. One last piece of unsolicited advice. Every cuisinart sells with a surprisingly well written 50 page pamphlet. Master that and you'll know how to cook.
Shit. So I could have skipped culinary school?
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#16 2008-12-22 22:09:49
Taint wrote:
Shit. So I could have skipped culinary school?
Yes, all you needed was a Slam Chop and a Magic Bullet.
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#17 2008-12-22 22:54:47
I'm not sure about this new guy at all.... I've seen him on TV and I'm yet to be impressed, I still stand behind our tried and true friend Billy Mays....
Last edited by Dirckman (2008-12-22 22:55:54)
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#18 2008-12-23 00:16:55
Taint wrote:
choad wrote:
One last piece of unsolicited advice. Every cuisinart sells with a surprisingly well written 50 page pamphlet. Master that and you'll know how to cook.
Shit. So I could have skipped culinary school?
Yes. Learn anything there you couldn't absorb better on the job?
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#19 2008-12-23 00:34:50
First of all, nothing beats the Nathans Car Wash guy...
If I ever come across the Sham Wow guy, I'm going to execute him.
Not to mention, the Sham Wow commercial is a complete and obvious hoax.
The part where he dumps the liquid on the carpet, and there is a huge pool of liquid around the carpet, then they flash away and back real quick and the pool is gone (all before he starts to sop up the liquid).
Any time you're that obvious about your bullshit scam earns you a spot in my mental asshole corral.
My cousin bought Nathans Car Wash and proceeded to light firework fountains off on her car like on the commercial. You could just wipe it off and it was all shiny and purdy (yeah, I spelled it that way on purpose) again. Did I mention she smoked a lot of pot?
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#20 2008-12-23 00:43:10
choad wrote:
Taint wrote:
choad wrote:
One last piece of unsolicited advice. Every cuisinart sells with a surprisingly well written 50 page pamphlet. Master that and you'll know how to cook.
Shit. So I could have skipped culinary school?
Yes. Learn anything there you couldn't absorb better on the job?
Cost analysis and pricing.
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#22 2008-12-23 01:07:15
choad wrote:
Yes. Learn anything there you couldn't absorb better on the job?
How to nail fat chicks in the frosting lab.
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#23 2008-12-23 01:18:17
Actually, cooking school was a good move for a number of reasons. First, the school I went to had a great program that threw you into working kitchens literally the first week. It was sink or swim, but with good teachers - professional chefs with years of experience - to help you navigate. While learning on the job is good, you can make mistakes in culinary school without fear of losing your job.
Second, for me anyway, was learning to cook in quantity: a vastly different experience than the occasional dinner party for a dozen people. I was already very knowledgeable about cooking and probably more knowledgeable than most foodies about food itself (culture, history, etc.) but learning the most efficient way to prepare liver and onions for 200 people is a challenge.
Third, the culinary program I attended has a great reputation locally, so finding work wasn't a problem when people learned where I studied.
Finally, it helped me hone my professional goals: I knew I didn't want to work in restaurants and that I wanted to draw on my experience as a journalist, as well. In school I was exposed to a wide variety of options I might not have considered. Now, doing a regular food blog for a newspaper web site is putting me back into the habit of writing daily and putting me in touch with contacts I need. Over the next year, I'll be focusing on publishing with a wider variety of outlets and making more contacts.
I'm glad I decided to do the culinary school route.
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#24 2008-12-23 11:19:29
I just played this video and my son, who is busy killing zombies on the other PC, says, "did he just say 'you're gonna love my nuts?'".
Fast forward 2 minutes. He's found, on youtube, perversions of this video where Vince goes on and on about his nuts....
I fucking had Vince, the ShamWow fraud. "We're going to do this in real time" my ass....
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#25 2008-12-23 13:00:20
ptah13 wrote:
I just played this video and my son, who is busy killing zombies on the other PC, says, "did he just say 'you're gonna love my nuts?'".
Fast forward 2 minutes. He's found, on youtube, perversions of this video where Vince goes on and on about his nuts....
I fucking had Vince, the ShamWow fraud. "We're going to do this in real time" my ass....
You had Vince? Did he slap chop you to orgasm?
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#26 2008-12-23 14:30:50
Dunno what I was thinking when I made that typo.
I hate Vince... Last night, after bitching about Vince on here, I went to bed and put on some show in the Military channel. Every commercial segment had the Sham-wow commercial. It was like some curse.
Again and again I got to see the "we're going to do this in real-time" scam. Watch the video, he pours a bunch of soda on a carpet piece. So much that it creates a pool extending around the carpet piece. He lifts it up and says something about "this is where your mildew is" and shows you a huge pool of soda on the table. Then he flashes away and back real quick and says, "ok we're going to do this in real time". When he flashes back, no longer is there any pool around the carpet, just the brown stain (and all evidence of a pool underneath said carpet has disappeared). He mops up the soda and then lifts the carpet to show, as if by miracle, the pool you saw before has been magnetically sucked up.
Such bullshit.
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#27 2008-12-23 16:59:28
ptah13 wrote:
I just played this video and my son, who is busy killing zombies on the other PC, says, "did he just say 'you're gonna love my nuts?'".
Fast forward 2 minutes. He's found, on youtube, perversions of this video where Vince goes on and on about his nuts....
I fucking had Vince, the ShamWow fraud. "We're going to do this in real time" my ass....
Your kids can have my nuts.
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#28 2008-12-23 19:30:56
Personally, I don't get the call center headpiece he uses. As if they can't afford an actual sound man or he simply moves around too much.
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#29 2008-12-24 00:14:12
pALEPHx wrote:
Personally, I don't get the call center headpiece he uses. As if they can't afford an actual sound man or he simply moves around too much.
I think it's supposed to look like the demonstrations you see at county fairs and the like.
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#30 2008-12-25 22:20:08
tojo2000 wrote:
pALEPHx wrote:
Personally, I don't get the call center headpiece he uses. As if they can't afford an actual sound man or he simply moves around too much.
I think it's supposed to look like the demonstrations you see at county fairs and the like.
I guess I don't attend enough county fairs. How homey of him then. It still doesn't distract from the fact that it looks like he was hit in the face with a shovel. Twice.
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#32 2008-12-29 11:38:20
jesusluvspegging wrote:
ShamWow guy is an ex-Scientologist
Wow, he really is the wack-job I've always taken him for!
The film also generated several lawsuits. Offer filed a copyright-infringement suit against Peter and Bobby Farrelly and Twentieth Century Fox, claiming that 14 scenes in There's Something About Mary were taken from his own film. The Farrelly brothers responded, "We've never heard of him, we've never heard of his movie, and it's all a bunch of baloney."
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#33 2008-12-29 21:41:24
jesusluvspegging wrote:
ShamWow guy is an ex-Scientologist
He has a Wikipedia page? [sham]Wow[/sham].
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