Cruel History
2007-11-10 00:27:29
Roger_That
My memory serves these basics:
1) I surf for some fucked up entertaining links and find cruel.
2) I check daily for the new CSOTD, follow, laugh (or snicker)
3) Bonsai Kitten is posted as CSOTD, shit hits fan
4) Rogers starts a yahoo club for CSOTD.
5) Missythrope, Angie, and Angrylioness (along with Franny Sfuvfy from About.com) show up and yell about how cruel Bonsai Kitten is, and how they are going to sic PETA and the Feebs on the site owners.
6) First Amendment rights battle ensues between original cruellers and animal wackjobs. BK goes down, BK goes up, BK goes down, Rotten.com hosts it, the Feebs harass and interview some cruel members who they think might be in association with BK, blah blah, Missy gets outed, Angie gets outed, Angrylioness evolves into multiple personality disorder.
7) Cruel revolves around BK and the Cats and Kittens yahoo group (where members migrate daily to harass the animal lovers and bait them with the BK website).
8) Angie decides to hang out at the Yahoo Cruel group, and eventually becomes less nasty but continues to be the Cruel whipping post. Smurgles.com is found, and everyone finds a map to Angie's house.
9) Lioness threatens, brings in "Windspirit46" (aka Barry) and her cousin from Australia, KitKat. They harass the cruel yahoo group members. A secret task force is formed, and eventually Angrylioness is outed as Sheila Austin. Her account information is hijacked, and it is foudn that she is not only angrylioness, but windspirit, kitkat, and many others. She also begs for donations to feed her 50 million cats after a hurricane floods her apartment. She has a son that works at McDonalds. Sheila goes apeshit when she finds out someone "broke in" to her email. She threatens "UncleDave" (a long time crueller) and accuses him of the whole coup. Although he had nothing to do with it.
10) About this time, BK dies down, and Rogers creates his own message board, as Yahoo Clubs! merges with egroups or some other shit hole online club group membership crap. The new Cruel.com message board (that most of you remember) is born.
11) Lioness hangs around a bit, but finally fucks off.
11A) Smitty brings the word "Asshat" to cruel, as a way of telling someone that their link is old, or already been posted. When somoene posts a duplicate link, they are given an "asshat". If you posted a link that was actually a current or recent CSOTD, that was an asshat of mega proportions, more like a Colon Suit.
11B) Smitty meets Ptah, divorces ensue, a 2 year relationship of bizarre and cruel proportions takes place. Cates and Fiesty will eventually follow with divorces of their own. Scotty will continually try to get into Fiesty's pants.
12) Trolls come, trolls go. DJ LilAndy fucks with the cruel members, and his mom is called. A parade of other idiots show up and maps to their homes follow them closely. Jew shows up, the regulars come and go, Emily shows her tits with Marinara sauce.
13) Some cruel members find drudge's messageboard and bring over Drudge's trashy remnants, better known as Horseonovich. Matt Drudge makes an appearance on his own message board, and brings over Horse, Chaiyah, and a few other trolls.
14) Horse turns into the biggest blowhard on the internets. He brings a wake of hate and animosity. He stalks a girl up in Canada named FM. They become friendly, but when Horse's 2nd or 3rd personality takes over, he turncoats on her and pisses her off.
15) A Gift Horse blog is born, to taunt Horse from his 'Mystery" blogger
16) Gift Horse reveals her identity as FM, and "The Morning Oats" blog is born. Cruellers spend time roasting Horse with his own game flame, and a wonderful repository of all things Horse is born.
17) To further fuck with Horse, the "White Courtesy Phone" aka Sekkrit Tag Board is born, thanks to Zombie Elvis. Trusted Cruellers gather behind the scenes to plot ways to fuck with Horse. Some of them even start to trust each other and swap photos and personal info.
18) Cruel spirals downwards as Rogers starts fucking with functionality, looks, and code.
19) Rogers buys the papal domain, and asks for a cool hat in exchange for turning over the domain to the vatican. He ends up on the news, and the crowd roars because they love his black wire framed glasses. He never gets his hat. (Although we suspect he has an asshat).
19) Meg Kelso comes on the scene. The members roast her as many before, but this one decides to go stalk Roger's wife. Rogers gets scared, and starts censoring posts and removing standard n00b trolling actions. Rogers becomes tired of Cruel and his red headed step children. Rogers starts censoring posts and getting snippy.
20) Cruel's days are limited. Rogers continually baits his children with promises to return the archives, fix teh edit function, and get rid of the ugly black background.
21) Rogers says he won't have any more "CSOTD'S", that certain links posted by users will show up as the top 'link's of the day'
22) Rogers tries to turn Cruel into Drudge. It doesn't work.
23) Rogers abandons his children, and watches them beg and flounder in an archive free (but Horse free!) environment.
24) Rogers shuts down Cruel.
25) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here we are.
*whew*
Does that work for you? I'm not editing it, so fuck you all.
