jesusluvspegging wrote:

Fuck this.  I'm starting my own scouting organization!

Who wants to join the Junior Machine Elves?

Uniform: reversible two-tone hoody (for maximum urban camouflage), pants (optional), shoes you can run from cops in.

Some of the merit badges available: Handling Your Shit, Street Pharmacist, Roofie Deployment, Shoplifting, Boy Scout Troop Infiltration and Conversion, Family Planning (knock up three Girl Scouts and pay for their abortions), Arson, Blood Sacrifice,

Pledge: On my Honor I will do my duty to summon the Chaos from beyond into this fucked-up world.  IA!  IA!  THE GOAT OF A THOUSAND YOUNG!

Dude, I'll so be Elfmaster if I get to wear my goat leggings and a bonnet (with horns)?

whosasailorthen wrote:

phoQ wrote:

Boy Scouts are below my hate radar as long as they stay the fuck out of the backcountry.  I've been going out for decades, and they have to be the worst campers ever.  They cut down trees, dig holes, build giant fires, throw uneaten food on the ground, and generally make a mess.  whosascoutmasterthen, don’t you teach these kids low-impact camping?

Our troop certainly does - I can't speak for others.  Our junior leaders lead 'the walk' at the end of every trip, where the boys spread out over the entire camping area and we pick up every scrap - and I *do* mean EVERY scrap - of trash or non-natural debris.  The Scout motto for camping is "Leave No Trace".  We also keep separate cans for recyclable rubbish.  And we NEVER cut down live trees (actually, this is forbidden by Scout rules - it's in the handbook).  The boys also must learn and live by "The Outdoor Code" in order to advance in rank.

I will:
*  Be clean in my outdoor manners.
      I will treat the outdoors as a heritage.
      I will take care of it for myself and others
      I will keep my trash and garbage out of lakes, streams, fields, woods, and roadways.

* Be careful with fire.
      I will prevent wildfire.
      I will build my fires only where they are appropriate.
      When I have finished using a fire, I will make sure it is cold out.
      I will leave a clean fire ring, or remove all evidence of my fire.

* Be considerate in the outdoors.
      I will treat public and private property with respect.
      I will use low-impact methods of hiking and camping.

and

* Be conservation minded
      I will learn how to practice good conservation of soil, waters, forests, minerals, grasslands, wildlife, and energy.
      I will urge others to do the same.

Honestly, what idiot cuts down live trees for firewood?

The best firewood are long-fallen trees that haven't been touching the ground. For example, tree get hit by lightning 5 months ago and falls. We look for these in the ravines (where I camp, there are these things called hills. Betwixt the hills, you find the ravines).

The reason we look in the ravines is that you find the ones that are only touching the ground in 2 spots. Lame folk use these axes to chop out about a 150lb section of these trees. The smarter of us use authentic machete's and cut ours out in about 1/2 the time as the little ax users. Although I am in the market for an authentic francesca, just to play with.

Life trees are too wet to burn well. Dead trees on the ground also tend to be wet (at least where I camp). The wood we get burns like mad.

sofaking wrote:

Scotty wrote:

You're all idiots. 

This thread ended when I began to fapping to Sofie in a Brownie uniform.

I pretty much joined so I could wear the jumper, and those weird brown knee socks with the orange tassels to school.

Oh Jesus.

I just plain pretended to ignore your first fap-inducing comments but, come one!

You are SO doing this on purpose. Now I gotta make little Sofie photoshop brownie pr0n photos all night.

dammit

ptah13 wrote:

sofaking wrote:

Scotty wrote:

You're all idiots. 

This thread ended when I began to fapping to Sofie in a Brownie uniform.

I pretty much joined so I could wear the jumper, and those weird brown knee socks with the orange tassels to school.

Oh Jesus.

I just plain pretended to ignore your first fap-inducing comments but, come one!

You are SO doing this on purpose. Now I gotta make little Sofie photoshop brownie pr0n photos all night.

dammit

You guys would fuck anything with a pulse, and even that's negotiable.

Brownie jumpers?

Hijo le chingada madre, y'all are freaky.

And your Photochop aspirations are why the only place you can find a pic of mah ass on the internets is washed out, or on friend's MahSpaces (and I object to even that).

Ooooo. I'm a liar.

I got all smurgly (or high) at X-mas, and posted a pic of me when I was little.

Go to town with the Photochopping, Pedobear.

https://cruelery.com/viewtopic.php?id=1841

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

sofaking wrote:

You guys would fuck anything with a pulse, and even that's negotiable.

Brownie jumpers?

Hijo le chingada madre, y'all are freaky.

And your Photochop aspirations are why the only place you can find a pic of mah ass on the internets is washed out, or on friend's MahSpaces (and I object to even that).

C'mon now?

Apparently they haven't told you about me.

Do you really think I don't have a picture of you by now? Sheesh, I have an entire WALL dedicated to you (with candles and even a little glow-in-the-dark llama and shit!).

sofaking wrote:

Ooooo. I'm a liar.

I got all smurgly (or high) at X-mas, and posted a pic of me when I was little.

Go to town with the Photochopping, Pedobear.

https://cruelery.com/viewtopic.php?id=1841

Actually, anymore I dig chicks no younger than 4 years younger and up (up to about 8-10 years older than I am).

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by ptah13 (2009-06-17 22:54:12)

choad wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

I will treat public and private property with respect.

Alright, this where I choke. I know the neighborhood of your mispent youth intimately. So does Johnny_Rotten. In fact, I expect to visit there in the next few weeks.

Can you really look your kids in the eye on this subject without cracking a smile? Really? I've got two words for you: lawn donuts.

To some folks, a lawn jockey and indoor furniture OUTDOORS IS treating property with respect.

Scotty wrote:

ptah13 wrote:

Do you really think I don't have a picture of you by now? Sheesh, I have an entire WALL dedicated to you (with candles and even a little glow-in-the-dark llama and shit!).

And did you really forget what I have from your first foray onto Cruel?

First, you CAN'T think I'm serious, can you?!?

Second, I'm not sure. I've never posted a picture of myself on the internet. Is it possible you are confusing me with someone else?

sofaking wrote:

ptah13 wrote:

sofaking wrote:

You guys would fuck anything with a pulse, and even that's negotiable.

Brownie jumpers?

Hijo le chingada madre, y'all are freaky.

And your Photochop aspirations are why the only place you can find a pic of mah ass on the internets is washed out, or on friend's MahSpaces (and I object to even that).

C'mon now?

Apparently they haven't told you about me.

Do you really think I don't have a picture of you by now? Sheesh, I have an entire WALL dedicated to you (with candles and even a little glow-in-the-dark llama and shit!).

I also enjoy incense.

I want you to burn so much in your worship of me that your house will smell like a headshop.

hehehehe

That's fucking great! hehehehe

My house DOES smell like a headshop, but only because I possess "The Dankest Pot on the Lot" and I have to practically own stock in Nag Champa and Fabreeze.

I wonder if visitors wonder whatthefuck a little brat leaning on some schweet '70s shag carpeting has to do with evil.

Little do they know...

Scotty wrote:

ptah13 wrote:

Scotty wrote:

And did you really forget what I have from your first foray onto Cruel?

First, you CAN'T think I'm serious, can you?!?

Second, I'm not sure. I've never posted a picture of myself on the internet. Is it possible you are confusing me with someone else?

I was quoting you to remind sofie of the mistake she thought she had made for about three emails.

That was my original point, that I'm Ptah and if someone has pictures (or phone numbers, or whatever), it is ME!

You think you were the only one with a speedy mouse that day? I paid some other quick-thinking individual nearly all my pirate dabloons for that bit of data!

All for my Sophie altar! I just sit there, taking bong hits, playing ABBA (I don't know why! SHEESH!) songs whilst wearing my bonnet and grass skirt. Sometimes I take off the bonnet.

ALL HAIL SOPHIE! SMOKE A BONG HIT FOR SOPHIE! Sing DANCING QUEEN for Sophie!!!

I'll buy all your gently used hotel merchandise, Sophie. I swear I will!

hehehehehe

Last edited by ptah13 (2009-06-17 23:14:38)

ptah13 wrote:

Scotty wrote:

ptah13 wrote:

First, you CAN'T think I'm serious, can you?!?

Second, I'm not sure. I've never posted a picture of myself on the internet. Is it possible you are confusing me with someone else?

I was quoting you to remind sofie of the mistake she thought she had made for about three emails.

That was my point.

You think you were the only one? I paid some other quick-thinking individual all my pirate dabloons for that bit of data!

All for my Sophie altar!

ALL HAIL SOPHIE! SMOKE A BONG HIT FOR SOPHIE!!!!

hehehehehe

I found Scotty using only mah noodle.

We used to fight like honey badgers when you all found my teabagging site and I arrived at cruel. I had no recourse but to find him and scare the bejeezus out of him.

choad wrote:

whosasailorthen wrote:

I will treat public and private property with respect.

Alright, this where I choke. I know the neighborhood of your mispent youth intimately. So does Johnny_Rotten. In fact, I expect to visit there in the next few weeks.

Can you really look your kids in the eye on this subject without cracking a smile? Really? I've got two words for you: lawn donuts.

OK, guilty as charged.  Donuts, in a corn field, with a 1959 Chevy Impala sedan, and the front bench seat from a 56 Buick welded to the top of the back trunk lid.... talk about a fun ride....

(So when/where are you going to be in town?  Drops me a PM, willya?  I'll have my people call your people and we'll do lunch.)

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-06-18 00:16:51)