I only want it if the microchip constantly Tweets about where my prostate is.

fnord wrote:

I know an ER doctor who collects the items he’s removed from people’s asses.  I’m sure he’d love to add one or more of these babies to his collection.

I have a similar list, but all these models have a 'preventative base.' If the whole damn thing can make it into your ass, then you probably deserve every ER attending laughing at you.