Homemade Tofurky?!

Mmmm!

Taint wrote:

Human beings were not meant to be vegans. If you have to add that many supplements to your diet just to maintain a normal intake of vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients, it's not a natural diet.

Humans are omnivores.  All you need to do is look at our teeth: molars for veggies, canines for meat.  If you eat only plant matter for moral reasons. don't forget about all the critters getting ground up as they harvest the wheat, corn, beans etc.  If you care that much but don't actually raise your own food, then fuck you.

DoucheEllington wrote:

Sorry, canines in primates appear to be primarily for sexual display, if they serve a differentiated function at all.

Taint made the mistake of saying canines, and your answer is correct. He should have said that hominid molars (and jaws) evolved for grinding, whereas our incisors evolved for ripping and tearing (and our canines came to look like and function with the incisors). We are clearly an omnivorous species, with some of us existing almost entirely on flesh, others existing almost entirely on grains, pulses, etc. If anything, it's our molars that have most reduced in size over the last 50,000 years, as food has become generally softer and easier to chew, and as meat has placed an increasingly important role in our diets. And before anyone shits on me for being a shill for the meat industry...I'm an ovo-lacto-cunto-vegetarian. Meat is murder. Ahimsa.

George Orr wrote:

Speciesists!

Texian-Mexist!

Myself, I'm a herring choker.

Last edited by choad (2007-11-15 08:19:50)

Means I need more sleep.

edit: Wait a second. Where are you moving?

Last edited by choad (2007-11-15 08:24:45)

Taint, I think I love you even more ... SF, catering job, smart ... but sadly - gay.

kim wrote:

Taint, I think I love you even more ... SF, catering job, smart ... but sadly - gay.

When you finally get that sex change, I'm there for you, baby.

DoucheEllington wrote:

If we hominids had stuck to the raw food diet & just replaced most of the plant-based calories with meat, by this point the market on fellatio would be cornered by the elderly & otherwise toothless.

Not so - I like a girl who gnaws on my bone with big strong teeth. Once I get my cockhead past the epiglottis (it usually takes half an hour or more to stretch out the surrounding pharyngo-nasal structures) I tell her to bite down firmly, so peristalsis doesn't push me out when she gags. Damn it...now I'm horny. Where's that fucking orangutan?

asdf1971 wrote:

Don't forget about all the cute little bunnies and chipmunks who get ground up by those evil combine harvesters.  Oh wait, don't tell me.  All the vegans grow their own millet.

My what a witty response. Did it just pop into your head, or were you up all night crafting it? Devastating. You're too good for this place.

Restricting your diet to carnivorous plants would solve both the karmic and caloric problems inherent in a vegan lifestyle.

I look forward to the day we can subsist on sunlight and background radiation.

Kim, I missed the Lacto shot, but we're all waiting for the Ovo.

asdf1971 wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

asdf1971 wrote:

Don't forget about all the cute little bunnies and chipmunks who get ground up by those evil combine harvesters.  Oh wait, don't tell me.  All the vegans grow their own millet.

My what a witty response. Did it just pop into your head, or were you up all night crafting it? Devastating. You're too good for this place.

YAWN......

Oh, was that for me?  I expect much more than that kind of drivel from you Wilber.

Kisses

I calculate the payload after assessing the resources of the enemy. I think I can take you down with a pea-shooter and one small dried pea. Prove me wrong.

choad wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I think I can take you down with a pea-shooter and one small dried pea. Prove me wrong.

Hiding in a tree or a leaf pile, with or without a deadline?

Bah, you're right. I'm a little grumpy today. I was born to be a bum, not a worker bee.

asdf1971 wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I calculate the payload after assessing the resources of the enemy. I think I can take you down with a pea-shooter and one small dried pea. Prove me wrong.

I'd rather you went down with your cunt licker and small shriveled penis.  Just sayin.

Hmmmm. It's really difficult to articulate and amusing response to incoherent obscenities. Would you try a little harder s'il vous plait? Jeez, I'm just trying to pick a fight here.

Spend more than an hour around some cows and it'll cure you of your vegetarianism real fucking fast.  You get to where you want to kill and eat the damned things right there in front of the rest of the herd, to serve as a lesson to the rest of them.

asdf1971 wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

asdf1971 wrote:

I'd rather you went down with your cunt licker and small shriveled penis.  Just sayin.

Hmmmm. It's really difficult to articulate and amusing response to incoherent obscenities. Would you try a little harder s'il vous plait? Jeez, I'm just trying to pick a fight here.

Oh I did not just catch the Great Cunt Licker in a typing error did I?  If you want to articulate and amusing response, try typing with both hands next time.

Yes - I threw that in on purpose, to give you something to riff off. By the way, I've been meaning to compliment you on your name. Where do you get all your ideas? Is 1971 the year of your birth or the number of pin worms that have migrated to your brain to escape the smell of your mildewed anus?

Roger_That wrote:

I love meat.  Meat, meat meat meat meat.  Cows, and Pigs, and Lambs, oh my!  I like the way it makes my poop float... I like the way it makes my skin all greasy, and my coat nice and shiny.  I like the way the gristle floods between the crevices of my mandibles.  There is nothing like licking the finer parts of the meat directly off the dessicated corpse of some of the finest hormone injected farm animal available.

Mmm.  Taaaaaaaasty.

No, I'm not vegetarian.  Seriously.

I hae meat for ye to eat. Seriously. Come here and lick my gristle, baby.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I hae meat for ye to eat. Seriously. Come here and lick my gristle, baby.

Ooo, that was almost a Scottish brogue.  You don't play the bagpipes do you?

Still, you won't experience the joys of my sucking the marrow from your bone until you savor my bloody juices first.

After a nice Chianti, of course.

Roger_That wrote:

Hey soft cock, he was talking to me.

I have an hot Aqua Net encrusted curling iron over in the corner that you can fellate.

Sorry, my eyes go kind of googly when I take my after-dinner pills.

And really, the curling iron thing doesn't fit so well with the whole meat is murder theme going on here.  Now a cattle prod.  That would have been funny.

asdf1971 wrote:

And really, the curling iron thing doesn't fit so well with the whole meat is murder theme going on here.  Now a cattle prod.  That would have been funny.

http://www.castrator.com/ezeintro.htm



Reasons Why You Must Delay Castrate

Take advantage of nature's own growth hormone by leaving bulls intact until 5-8 months of age, (600lbs-700lbs). The ultimate results of delay castrating are:

1.   Bull calves gain 10-15% faster than steers calves, university studies show, in both pre- and post-weaning in bull calves over early castrated calves.
2.   Bull calves convert feed 20% more efficiently than Steer calves.
3.   Use the most effective growth promotant FREE, Testosterone.
4.   Improved overall lean meat production. (Seiderman et al., 1982)
5.   Better selection of Purebreds.
6.   No guessing on how tight to install latex bands/rings.
7.   Can be used on cattle, sheep and goats.
8.   Band castration does not interrupt rate of gain.
9.   Causes only minimal discomfort and stress to the animal.
10. Natural testosterone also increases frame and carcass cutability.
11. Less stress on operator.

asdf1971 wrote:

Don't forget about all the cute little bunnies and chipmunks who get ground up by those evil combine harvesters.  Oh wait, don't tell me.  All the vegans grow their own millet.

That's a great argument: Why bother to attempt to minimize the anguish you impose on other creatures since you can't eliminate it entirely?  If you employ a decision-making hueristic that prioritizes perfection over pragmatic value, then, by extension, everything you face moment-to-moment basically leads you to "might as well kill myself now; nothing I do will ever be perfect & my life will probably only get worse as measured by objective standards."

I know some vegans who are insufferable holier-than-thou assholes, but most people I know who choose to avoid animal products aren't.  Many of us have participated in holding animals captive & killing them, & have a pretty good idea how miserable life is in a factory farm.  Since there are alternatives to eating meat that allow us to remain healthy, at least in the USA, we choose not to give money to people who profit from farmed meat or animals in the same way that some people would not employ a contractor who beats his kids.

Can you really be a nihilist & a Ween fan?

"marble tulip juicy tree
i don't know who u are
i don't know who u want to be
when i carbonate the test tube
then u won't see me
i've got a twin cab diesel combo
it takes me where i want to go
and all the nuphies are happy
they know of a fungus that grow
so when you see hoecke's mind screw
don't come running to me
or i will scream and set aflame
marble tulip juicy tree

marble tulip juicy tree
it's where i want to be
when i gnaw on (the tulip)
it'll wish that it was "me"

every morning i put my shoes on
and i think about she
who controls the 4 seasons
inhaling kitties in (the sea)
it's like a noodle in a salad
little birdy wants to be set free (e)
i drill the corpse lobe with my mommy
marble tulip juicy tree

so this song's about (the) loving thinig
that u are 2 me
just stay away from my adenoids
marble tulip juicy tree"

DoucheEllington wrote:

asdf1971 wrote:

Don't forget about all the cute little bunnies and chipmunks who get ground up by those evil combine harvesters.  Oh wait, don't tell me.  All the vegans grow their own millet.

That's a great argument: Why bother to attempt to minimize the anguish you impose on other creatures since you can't eliminate it entirely?  If you employ a decision-making hueristic that prioritizes perfection over pragmatic value, then, by extension, everything you face moment-to-moment basically leads you to "might as well kill myself now; nothing I do will ever be perfect & my life will probably only get worse as measured by objective standards."

I know some vegans who are insufferable holier-than-thou assholes, but most people I know who choose to avoid animal products aren't.  Many of us have participated in holding animals captive & killing them, & have a pretty good idea how miserable life is in a factory farm.  Since there are alternatives to eating meat that allow us to remain healthy, at least in the USA, we choose not to give money to people who profit from farmed meat or animals in the same way that some people would not employ a contractor who beats his kids.

Take that, assduff. You're gittin' beat on by a grrl.

DoucheEllington wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Take that, assduff. You're gittin' beat on by a grrl.

Oh yeah, I recognize this - a stab at double-dutch antagonism by stating that one member of a conversation is losing an argument while attempting to insult to the other member of the diad based on gender & the supposed weakness of that gender's ability to argue/fight/drink, whatever. Also, perhaps some baiting for us to reveal more personal info in little tizzies of umbrage, which usually provides the best straight lines.

Yes Douchey, I am, on my own authority, a master baiter. Having tested both your mettles, I've decided to pit you one against the other in the ring. Unbeknownst to either of you, all of High-Street watches, and each has placed a bet. The smart money's on the grrrl.

DoucheEllington wrote:

I guess the two standard options are for me to reply along the lines of "hell yeah! i am beetin on u!!" or "I'm a middle-aged lighweight women's champion cage fighter with a PhD in Rhetorical Theory.  How dare you assume I'm a grrrl"

Well you are grrrowling, Kitten, and it's very sexy. It contrasts nicely against your usual mellifluous purrrrrr. Come on...kitty kitty kitty...unsheathe those Ph.D-claws and leave a bit of blood on the floor for the rest of us to lick up when you're done.

DoucheEllington wrote:

or that a male being beaten on by a female is more remarkable than male-male p0wning or whatever it is you kids say these days!"

Since leaving university in the mid-'90s I've really missed the righteous anger of the peri-menopausal feminist. Sing me to sleep, Douchey?

DoucheEllington wrote:

Really, though, I thought 1971's comment, if sincere, indicated an unusually unproductive nihilistic attitude for someone who listens to Ween.

Yes, Wilber hates him too, my precious. Let's kill him together!

I had a vegeterian friend who wore leather.  His justification was that he didn't own a car, so he needed comfortable shoes.  He also wore leather belts and had a leather wallet; his justification was that he had both from before his vegetarian days. 

The preachy vegetarians get on my nerves because no one wants a lecture on nutrition from someone who eats an abundance of overprocessed soy products.  I've met vegeratarians who thought Doritos, a large bottle of Orange Crush and a pot of rice was a healthy dinner.  I know a vegetarian whose kid lives on buttered noodles, and she can't figure out why he's having behavioral problems in school.

Americans eat like shit, and it's been my experience that vegetarians are no different in this respect.

Now I don't know anyone's personal experience from this board, so before everyone gets all paranoid, I'm not responding to a specific poster, just giving my general perspective.