What the hell is wrong with Fredrick, Maryland?

Nothing.

My home for most of the 1990s was a modest, two storey farmhouse built in the 1830's on 22 acres of what became orchard, and later inner city. A massive chimney in the middle served two fireplaces on opposing sides of the house, one with a beehive oven. Moving from one room to the next always required a rotary route. The devout Quaker family who built it were and remain that city's leading lights; old money luminaries.

The widowed wife of the builder's son poisoned her daughter with arsenic for eloping with the farmhand, a Swedish immigrant. The daughter inherited the entire estate, you see. Front page news in 1881. Sweet Mum got away with it.

No one outside Providence, Rhode Island would ever learn of it. A decade later, Lizzie Borden and news wire services changed all that forever.

edit: Sorry about this but my agent insists I add my copyright to everything I post intended for publication.

Copyright, 2007 by Bill Whitehouse. All Rights Reserved.

Last edited by choad (2007-11-23 19:57:17)

braindead reporter wrote:

"Residents gathered Friday at a general store down the road from the park and talked about the tragedy over pancakes and burgers."

Hey Maw, 'member those nice folks lived down the road? Well, they's all bin murdered. Whaddya say we go on down to the store and get some flapjacks.

Copyright 2007 WilberCuntlicker. All wrongs deserved.

Last edited by WilberCuntLicker (2007-11-23 19:59:45)

choad wrote:

asdf1971 wrote:

And Choad, will you tell more ghost stories next Halloween?  You just made me go all shivery.

Then should I add that HP Lovecraft is buried two short blocks from the scene of that crime?

Oh god, don't make me beg for it.

You have no idea about Frederick.  I'm about 40 minutes from Frederick.  A certain person and I used to joke every time we passed through...wondering what bad thing could possibly happen again in Frederick.  One time, an accident left us trying to find a spare part for the car to continue our trip out west.  That's like the start to a bad horror story.  Another time, ah hell...I won't go into it.

Just google Frederick, MD in news.  There are all kinds of weird things that go on in that city.

And Blair Witch was filmed in Burkittsville, MD.  Not quite Frederick, but pretty close.  I stopped there once to check it out.  Just another hicktown in MD...

Frederick is like the red headed step child of Maryland.

Roger_That wrote:

Keep in mind, Frederick is a podunk town in the western panhandle of MD, close to WVA

That pretty much explains everything.

headkicker_girl wrote:

West Virginia is actually a very pretty state (if you ignore the strip mines).  I think isolation and inbreeding are a bad combination, though.

Up in the Hollers.  Some of the (larger)towns are the prettiest on the East Coast.

Roger_That wrote:

Yeah, I peed on the side of the road at least 3 times

The next two words may well qualify as the favorite male punch line of all time.
Car's coming!!!

pALEPHx wrote:

Those two words remind me of what my great-grandmother used to tell my uncle to shout at passing vehicles, while on vacation in the Catskills: "Car come on!" (think "Khaki Moon," a Yiddish transliteration for "Shit on you!") Grandmama was a wicked ol' thang. She certainly peed herself laughing at him.

My own family fable of that ilk was my grandmother responding to a request from her grandmother for help removing storm windows. The stern old bat was apparently never pleasant and also notoriously hard of hearing. The response she got was, "Go pee up a rope, Grandma!"

To which she replied, "I'm sorry, I used to able to but I just can't anymore!"

As you might imagine, my grandmother quickly regretted ever telling me that story.