#1 2011-02-23 00:42:15
OK, children. As we've just recently enjoyed our first, real banner-related tiff since - well - since back in the bad old Pale days, this seems like a great time to pull everyone at High Street into a loving and empowering High Street embrace. Let me announce our first - and, most likely, last - Caption That Banner Contest©.
I've attached an eye-catching and provocative banner below but, the more astute of you will notice, it has no caption. Yes, I am asking my fellow residents to proffer suggestions for an appropriate captioning of the aforementioned illustration. The winner, to be chosen by Choad, Square, and I, will enjoy the singular honor of having a banner posted for all the Internet to see, highlighting their unique and insightful world-view and their cutting, oh-so-cutting, sense of humor. It's also entirely possible I won't even ask for input from Choad and Square but we'll see how I feel after 12:01 a.m., Feb. 27, which is the cut-off for submissions.
Are there rules? I suppose there should be as all contests have rules. Whether you choose to follow them is entirely your business.
- High Street's first, and most likely last, Caption That Banner Contest© is open to residents of North and South America (except for residents of Kansas, Uruguay, and Moose Jaw, Sask.), Europe, South Africa, Ghana, and various parts of Somalia, Asia except for Singapore, and Australia.
Contestants must have lost their virginity by their 21st birthday and have consumed at least seven varieties of illegal or at least heavily regulated drugs during their lifetime.
No peeking.
The contest is now open:
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#2 2011-02-23 02:02:34
What?
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#3 2011-02-23 02:05:43
Bend Over, You'll Enjoy It.
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#4 2011-02-23 03:24:23
Taint, do you get money every time someone registers with imageshack?
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#5 2011-02-23 08:55:03
What good is a contest without a prize? Perhaps a gift certificate to sofaking's online store... does she still have that up and running?
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#6 2011-02-23 09:01:11
"That's NOT My Belly Button."
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#7 2011-02-23 12:52:45
We use Tabasco in the lube.
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#8 2011-02-23 13:04:05
I still wish someone would make my banner I have had in mind for over a year for me. Some of us lack artistic ability.
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#9 2011-02-23 13:10:09
I'm going to stick it in now.
That's not my submission, an old stripper friend of mine is on her way here.
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#10 2011-02-23 13:34:26
in a whisper: "Don't scream."
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#11 2011-02-23 15:58:35
I got the idea from Mike Tyson
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#12 2011-02-23 16:11:45
square wrote:
What good is a contest without a prize? Perhaps a gift certificate to sofaking's online store... does she still have that up and running?
You're completely overlooking the glamor and excitement of winning. How could a mere material item possibly make up for the profound satisfaction of having captioned a banner on High Street?
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#13 2011-02-23 18:39:32
Taint wrote:
square wrote:
What good is a contest without a prize? Perhaps a gift certificate to sofaking's online store... does she still have that up and running?
You're completely overlooking the glamor and excitement of winning. How could a mere material item possibly make up for the profound satisfaction of having captioned a banner on High Street?
Just don't do it too often, some of us get bitchy and whiny. Sorry, that was uncalled for! Totally immature and petty, I apologize. My hat is off to Taint for trying to keep the peace in a place as dedicated to cruelty and satire as this place is.
So, captions: "Pass it on...." or "Only your best friend would tell you". Possibly "You need someone older and wiser telling you what to do" if you like show tunes.
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#14 2011-02-23 18:42:25
It only hurts for a little while...
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#15 2011-02-23 19:20:50
My safe word is...... High Street
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#16 2011-02-23 20:16:36
The password is...."puckerstar."
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#17 2011-02-23 20:39:52
I'll turn you out...on HIGH STREET!
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#18 2011-02-23 21:40:53
"The walls have ears."
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#19 2011-02-23 21:59:52
Fuck you all, your just trying to catch up to my moment of brilliance.
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#20 2011-02-23 22:11:43
Lurker is gay.
(ok, maybe five people might remember that)
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#21 2011-02-23 22:22:57
"Rosebud..."
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#22 2011-02-24 03:15:12
whosasailorthen wrote:
"Rosebud..."
Win.
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#23 2011-02-24 03:54:47
"let me tell you about the internetz..."
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#24 2011-02-24 08:56:28
SilverSmythe wrote:
My safe word is...... High Street
Damn, you stole my first idea.
"The safe word is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"
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#25 2011-02-24 09:40:27
whosasailorthen wrote:
"Rosebud..."
"Hénri..."
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#26 2011-03-01 07:56:26
So what's going on with this? Who won the gift card to Sofie's Toys for Twats?
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#27 2011-03-01 12:50:38
Bigcat wrote:
So what's going on with this? Who won the gift card to Sofie's Toys for Twats?
Sorry, I've been painting the apartment and, after breathing too many paint fumes, became woozy and forgetful.
The winner of the first - and, most likely, last - Caption That Banner Contest© is High Street's very own pervy little Korean dude, Kim!
Kim, in addition to all the glamor and excitement which will now be hallmarks of your life as a result of your victory, you also win a fabulous, all-expenses-paid vacation to Tripoli where you'll have front row seats for the long, drawn out battle that will mark the beginning of years of instability throughout North Africa. Plus, if I ever get around to contacting the promoters, you'll receive a year's supply of Turtle Wax and Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
Many thanks to all those who entered, and to Square for his help in sorting through all the entries. 
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#28 2011-03-01 13:59:42
Kim, Can I go with? I'm married and middle aged just like your beloved. We can do all sorts of nasty stuff with the Rice-a-Roni too. PLEASE!
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