#1 2011-12-08 11:13:35
Hey fellow assbags - I have a current problem. Serious and stupid replies welcome. Some serious would be nice.
This club that I belong to (which is an open club) has a member with Ass Burgers. This one member likes to sign up for all of our events that are generally easy or social. Because this member likes to sign up for these, and all the other members know who he is, no one else signs up to come after they see his name.
Legally - how do we get rid of him without getting sued?
Technically - how do I write a script to block him from our web page?
Other creative ideas on how to rid ourselves of this festering ass pimple would be great.
Obligatory photo since I couldn't find a good link:
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#2 2011-12-08 16:07:46
you people disappoint me.
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#3 2011-12-08 16:11:15
I just saw this. Why not ask him to bug off if you don't like his style?
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#4 2011-12-08 16:24:43
Have the ugliest girl in the group start stalking him.....
Or if he's homophobic, the biggest guy.
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#5 2011-12-08 16:31:13
Dmtdust wrote:
I just saw this. Why not ask him to bug off if you don't like his style?
Because he can (and will) sue us for discrimination since he has a mental disease. He sued another club for kicking him out.
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#6 2011-12-08 16:31:57
XregnaR wrote:
Have the ugliest girl in the group start stalking him.....
Or if he's homophobic, the biggest guy.
He is middle eastern, so I'm not sure how the homophobe thing will play out. Maybe I should tell him if he leaves the club 72 virgins will be waiting for him...
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#7 2011-12-08 17:04:26
Let his parents know he isn't being a good Muslim. Perhaps they will make him go home or have him assassinated for dishonoring the family.
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#8 2011-12-08 17:06:08
Easy: Stop all of your events that are generally easy or social until he wanders off. Anyway, since when is livin' la vida douche grounds for litigation? Why not just enjoy the reactions he causes amongst the others and smile to yourself a lot? Post stories here!
One other way is open to you, Grasshopper. Take turns (all you girls in the group) dragging him away from the action and fucking him pigeon-toed every time he shows up. This way, his vital bodily fluids will run low and he'll stay away from a sense of self-preservation.
Last edited by Tall Paul (2011-12-08 17:07:09)
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#9 2011-12-08 17:06:33
Put him in charge of something that has to be done in advance for every meeting. That's the last you will see of him.
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#10 2011-12-08 17:10:58
Have all members of the group make a commitment to converting to Judaism! Have any Jewish members of the group facilitate initial discussions for getting the process underway. After the stupid dildo has left the group, the conversion project can be allowed to wither and die.
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#11 2011-12-08 20:37:52
Tall Paul wrote:
Easy: Stop all of your events that are generally easy or social until he wanders off. Anyway, since when is livin' la vida douche grounds for litigation? Why not just enjoy the reactions he causes amongst the others and smile to yourself a lot? Post stories here!
One other way is open to you, Grasshopper. Take turns (all you girls in the group) dragging him away from the action and fucking him pigeon-toed every time he shows up. This way, his vital bodily fluids will run low and he'll stay away from a sense of self-preservation.
Yeah so...we have tried stopping all the easy events. He then signs up for harder ones. Now we run both, he just prefers the easy ones. Nothing scares him off.
I can't imagine anyone has ever fucked him pigeon-toed or any toed for that matter.
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#12 2011-12-08 21:07:08
While my suggestion about group conversion may not be applicable (you haven't said what kind of group you belong to), the principle behind it is. Your organization has to at least temporarily do the equivalent of smearing boogers all over its face from the perspective of the unwanted dildo.
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#14 2011-12-08 22:10:56
1. You could try anonymously turning him in to Homeland Security.
2. Have a group meeting to discuss the evils of neurodiversity.
3. Get every other member to agree to laugh in a loud and clearly artificial manner every time he speaks.
4. Make it a club rule that anyone who says the same thing more than once must resign.
5. Serve bacon and bourbon, perhaps even mixing them, at all gatherings.
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#15 2011-12-08 22:26:11
Fled wrote:
1. You could try anonymously turning him in to Homeland Security.
2. Have a group meeting to discuss the evils of neurodiversity.
3. Get every other member to agree to laugh in a loud and clearly artificial manner every time he speaks.
4. Make it a club rule that anyone who says the same thing more than once must resign.
5. Serve bacon and bourbon, perhaps even mixing them, at all gatherings.
I like No. 3 and I shall endeavor to use it in similar situations in my own life.
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#16 2011-12-08 23:32:57
I think the idea here is to make him as uncomfortable as possible at these events, to the extent that he will ultimately leave of his own accord.
So... how to make him REALLY uncomfortable...
Well, you could bring an obnoxiously flamboyant gay friend to the event and have him begin making outrageous and public passes at the guy... violate his personal space, inappropriate touching, the works... and have the gay guy start talking about how cute this ass-clown is, what a nice cock he has, how nice it was to feel him in his man-pussy, etc.
Or...
You could start some sort of competition related to your club (whatever) and arrange to have this guy consistently lose... and lose *badly*... and then make public fun of him every time he does. Cruel? Sure, but hey, it works.
Or...
Have a friend blow lunch on him every time he shows up. Go for the money shot, right down his front. And eat something nice and fragrant for extra points. (It's an old George H. W. Bush favourite).
Last edited by whosasailorthen (2011-12-08 23:39:47)
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#17 2011-12-09 03:42:05
Tell him everyone in the group is going to try acting just like high school for a few months to try out ideas for a reality TV show script. Tell him there are hidden cameras. Next time you see him, tell him he's a nerd and his mummy dresses him funny and everyone in his whole family is stupid and he makes you want to vomit and he stinks and he has boogers in his nose and to fuck off and die. Play killer dodge ball. Girls can slap him lightly if need be. Rinse, wedgie and repeat.
reality TV show script: Don't try this at home. The best outcome for you is if he gets into it and does become permanent, trust me.
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#18 2011-12-09 09:15:24
I love all the suggestions, especially the gay man one. I am seriously contemplating it.
Also, I think he'd like the bacon situation.
The throwing up thing, while interesting, requires a volunteer to constantly empty stomach contents...? I'm not volunteering for that.
Btw, it is an Outdoor club. Hiking, camping, biking, trips, etc. Sadly the guy is big and burly enough to handle both our short hikes and the 12+ mile ones. And nothing seems to deter him from coming. He can't be too stupid to realize no one wants to deal with him, as people constantly avoid him and tell him to stop talking about certain subjects (A woman that had a restraining order on him, and the Jaycees who kicked him out and he sued them). Lovely.
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#19 2011-12-10 01:42:54
Roger_That wrote:
..... big and burly enough to handle both our short hikes and the 12+ mile ones. And nothing seems to deter him from coming. He can't be too stupid.....
You didn't mention that before! I guess you know who's going to be carrying everyone's gear from now on, and also who's going to run your portable espresso machine at breaktime.
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#20 2011-12-10 16:11:03
Fuggit. Give me his address and come up with a good alibi. i only demand your back door virginity in return. I promise to make it pleasant....for you, not him.
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#21 2011-12-10 16:23:37
XregnaR wrote:
Fuggit. Give me his address and come up with a good alibi. i only demand your back door virginity in return. I promise to make it pleasant....for you, not him.
Fuck that, I'll do it and make it hurt for both you and him...
...you'll enjoy the dominance sweety.
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#22 2011-12-11 03:01:07
XregnaR wrote:
i only demand your back door virginity in return.
Who want to break the sad news to him?
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#23 2011-12-11 16:44:04
opsec wrote:
XregnaR wrote:
i only demand your back door virginity in return.
Who want to break the sad news to him?
Pix or it never happened.
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#24 2011-12-12 03:14:57
XregnaR wrote:
opsec wrote:
XregnaR wrote:
i only demand your back door virginity in return.
Who want to break the sad news to him?
Pix or it never happened.
Sorry, but my telescope wasn't pointed at the right window that night.
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