HI WCL!

Sorry, I don't do politics so I can't help you with the backwash of shit.

RT

Montreal sure is beautiful in the spring though...

American retailers south of the border actively court and carnally love Canadian dollars, so don't act like you're doing us a big favour, Dickman. Tourists are tourists, and you would not believe the stupidity of American tourists in British Columbia. (In practice, the word "tourist" denotes a travelling moron, no matter where they come from, but there few things more obnoxious than an American out of his element.)

WCL wrote:

In practice, the word "tourist" denotes a travelling moron, no matter where they come from, but there few things more obnoxious than an American out of his element.

That's why they call them Tuna, the most dangerous and also the most lucrative of all Greater North American migrating species. I've herded quite a few in my day.

WCL wrote:

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/112 … eauty2.jpg

Dear American FuckWads:

You people need to get your fucked-up house in order.

We're planetary assholes, Wilber. Magnetic suction attracts every far flung needle dick enabler into our cesspool orbit, counter clockwise in the southern latitudes. And the Chinese are gaining on us.

We need help.

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WCL wrote:

You need to help yourselves.

S'your funeral, too.

choad wrote:

WCL wrote:

You need to help yourselves.

S'your funeral, too.

https://cruelery.com/img/unitedunderworld.png

Your shit, your shovel. It may not be fun, but it needs to be done.
You get the heads rolling, I'll load up old Betsy and come down to help.
Save me a few churches and don't spare the Sunday schools. (I have a huge fondness for tiny martyrs.) 
Once we've optimized your demographic you can come up here and help me sanitize the provinces.
Job #1 (Dickman will be glad to hear) is to give the prairies back to the buffalo.
When the killing is over we can abolish universal sufferage and spend the rest of our lives drinking Belgian beer and porking big-titted whores. Tell me that doesn't appeal. The world needs to mend.   

The Cambodians had some progressive ideas,
but they practiced them on the wrong people.

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Mug Shot Goodness!

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Johnny_Rotten wrote:

We just need a place to set up shop to start this thing.  We can expand the campaign from there. I hear there is an entire town for sale for $100K. We could pool our resources, sell the doublewide if one must, and establish a homeland.

Declare war on the U.S. , Surrender, and apply for foriegn aid.

I also would like to make strippers members of high office.

Taint wrote:

Frankly, Wilbur, I'm a little relieved. Why should Americans be the only North Americans to put up with this shit? This will be a bonding experience that will bring us closer together.

You can keep Celine Dion, though.

So it's gonna be like that, huh?  Well, in that case DIBS on Nathan Fillion.

Should we bring our own ketchup?  I understand those people don't use ketchup.

Taint wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Taint wrote:

Frankly, Wilbur, I'm a little relieved. Why should Americans be the only North Americans to put up with this shit? This will be a bonding experience that will bring us closer together.

You can keep Celine Dion, though.

So it's gonna be like that, huh?  Well, in that case DIBS on Nathan Fillion.

Should we bring our own ketchup?  I understand those people don't use ketchup.

Ah, a sad fallacy that continues to haunt the tumultuous relationship between the two daughter nations of our common Britannic mother. It is a fact that Canadians will, and do, put ketchup on everything. I have evidence:

http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/4817 … dchips.jpg

Before we belittle our northern neighbors, among whom I have lived and studied their ways, do remember that during the first Gulf War, the Canadians had the temerity to name their operations bases in Qatar, Canada Dry I and Canada Dry II.

Canada Dry and Keppich Lays sounds wonderful.

Taint wrote:

during the first Gulf War, the Canadians had the temerity to name their operations bases in Qatar, Canada Dry I and Canada Dry II.

I would pay good money for us to have a sense of humor, I'm fucking sick of everything having to have a patriotic/nationalistic name.

Oh and the American flag shit, please stop hanging the flag off of everything we're building - it's fucking embarrassing.

sigmoid freud wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

Oh and the American flag shit, please stop hanging the flag off of everything we're building - it's fucking embarrassing.

Communist.

Seriously, can't we stop acting like an eight year old and just be a gracious winner?

choad wrote:

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ld8k4 … o1_400.jpg

Those aren't hosers. Hosers are tough little fuckers in mackinacs (pronounced "mackinaws" - the best work jackets ever) who siphon your gas (thus "hosers") to get to the liquor store to buy a two-four of Labbat's or Molson's brewskies (almost as bad as commercial American beer) and a mickey of rye. Then they take their gunts (cunts with big guts), along with the Salt & Vinegar or maybe the Ketchup chips to the lake or the reservoir, get snockered, beat up a chug and steal his Lonesome Charlie. The party progresses. On a good night, after porking the gunts, festivities culminate in a fist fight, a tearful and homoerotic reconciliation and a jam banger at Horny Tim's. On a bad night the gunts get involved, things become unnecessarily rancorous, and the police book everyone into Her Majesty's hotel. (That is, unless the Mounties see the battered chug, in which case they peel him off the ground and take him instead. This makes for great drama, especially if the chug's an FBI [Fuckin' Big Indian] with enough life in him to toss the officers around like a handful of beer nuts. N.B.: In Regina, where the RCMP keep their headquarters, and where they worship the tree off which they hung Louis Riel, it's rumoured that the dogs are raised on dark meat....)

There are regional differences, of course. In Hongcouver, our gunts are Surrey girls, and our hosers get drunk and drown in the saltchuck. In Cowtown, the hosers look (and act) more like Americans. They tend to break their necks falling off mechanical bulls, or through the hoofed agency of irritable (aka "frigid") livestock. In Smogtown, the hosers drive drunk to Cottage Country, then tip their "borrowed" canoes and drown in the shallow waters of tiny lakes. For the average hoser, there's at least a one-in-ten chance he'll be beaten to death with a pool cue. Quebec, by the way, doesn't have many hosers - la belle province comes by its ignorance and bigotry more honestly, by way of the Catholick church. You meet all types of people in Quebec, but rarely anyone as lacking in reasons for pride as a hoser.

But most importantly, and what I really came back to tell you prepuce-palpating motherbuggerers, is that I haven't seen milk in a bag (except for the fleshy mammalian kind) for about 30 years, and even then, it wasn't in stores for long. So fuck you with a medium-sized pineapple pushed in hard and fast, leafy-parts first, using hot sauce and ground glass for lube. (Taint - to enjoy the same sensations as the rest of the crew, you'll probably need a larger pineapple.)

Yours truly, eh?
Wilber the Apostate-Hoser and Visionary Vaginal Lavage


Conservative Canada=America's Bitch

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