choad wrote:

A yank gets his cracker hate-on.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/22/books … mpson.html

The guy’s reaction is so chilly that Mr. Thompson can feel the beer in his own hand getting colder.

Nice line.

http://www.fuckthesouth.com/

MSG Tripps wrote:

Chuck Schick wrote:

http://www.fuckthesouth.com/

Who the fuck is we?

"You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant?" Try reading - if your eyes aren't too close together.

Last edited by Chuck Schick (2012-08-22 21:18:31)

Chuck Schick wrote:

"You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant?" Try reading - if your eyes aren't too close together.

So  ... who the fuck is we?

I love the South. I also have no desire to ever live there again.

fnord wrote:

Taint wrote:

I love the South. I also have no desire to ever live there again.

I would love to live in the South again if it weren't for the majority of the people who live there!

I'm sure there's a home for y'all in the South.

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2012-08-23 10:24:16)

Chuck Schick wrote:

MSG Tripps wrote:

Chuck Schick wrote:

"You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant?" Try reading - if your eyes aren't too close together.

So  ... who the fuck is we?

Clearly not you, I am so glad you are being open about your affection for the 19th century ways of the South. Would you like me to make up a Venn diagram that you can show to people that care?

Let me guess... You're from New Hampshire.

Eh, Sarge just likes to think he is a superior being. In fact, he doesn't read well and tries to cover up with one line passive aggressive insults. = douche bag

Tall Paul wrote:

Bigcat wrote:

Eh, Sarge just likes to think he is a superior being. In fact, he doesn't read well and tries to cover up with one line passive aggressive insults. = douche bag

Something you wanted to say, twinkle toes?

GooberMcNutly wrote:

In Florida we have a frothy blend of inbred Southern Rednecks and egotistical New Yawk Assholes.

Santorum?

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2012-08-24 02:55:48)

whosasailorthen wrote:

GooberMcNutly wrote:

In Florida we have a frothy blend of inbred Southern Rednecks and egotistical New Yawk Assholes.

Santorum?

Our version of Santorum would be Charlie Crist. White enough to be an inbred albino genetic throwback, yet suffused with that perfect blend of patented Southern gentlemanly charm and New England prep school latent aggression that can be shaking your hand while telling you to fuck yourself sideways. Add in the briefest whiff of playing the whole field and you get our local political star.

Now if he would only get caught in the washroom with the lawn guy we could finally have our own Santorumesque catch phrase: Jesus Fucking Crist!

Last edited by GooberMcNutly (2012-08-24 09:23:45)

Texas is not The South, XReg, but the sentiment is appreciated.

Author unknown; possibly Lewis Grizzard wrote:

We know our heritage.  Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner).  We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of FedEx, Turner Broadcasting, MCI, MTV, Netscape).  Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Kenneth Lay, Bush).  We don't care if you think we are dumb.  We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate.  If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments.  If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington.  If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the fuck up.  Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better.  Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it.  If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are.  Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

Yes, we know how to speak proper English.  We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you.  We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying.  All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters.  Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't ridicule our Southern manners.  We say sir and ma'am.  We hold doors open for others.  We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people.  Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside?  That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Los Angeles.  Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your sorry ass.

Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue.  This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked).  You're lucky we let you come down here at all.  Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.  Minus your ass.

Probably my favorite saying about my people is:  "A Southerner will remain polite to you until you have made him angry enough to kill you."

George Orr wrote:

Texas is not The South, XReg, but the sentiment is appreciated.

Author unknown; possibly Lewis Grizzard wrote:

We know our heritage.  Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner).  We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of FedEx, Turner Broadcasting, MCI, MTV, Netscape).  Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Kenneth Lay, Bush).  We don't care if you think we are dumb.  We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate.  If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments.  If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington.  If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the fuck up.  Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better.  Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it.  If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are.  Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

Yes, we know how to speak proper English.  We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you.  We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying.  All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters.  Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't ridicule our Southern manners.  We say sir and ma'am.  We hold doors open for others.  We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people.  Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside?  That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Los Angeles.  Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your sorry ass.

Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue.  This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked).  You're lucky we let you come down here at all.  Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.  Minus your ass.

Probably my favorite saying about my people is:  "A Southerner will remain polite to you until you have made him angry enough to kill you."

Die strawman!

It seems Chaz watches a lot of movies.

Chuck Schick wrote:

Taint wrote:

Chuck Schick wrote:

Die strawman!

What the hell? Do you actually serve an identifiable purpose anywhere?

Sorry for thinking you would understand. A strawman argument is when you distort your opponents position and refute the fake argument. The argument presented was a high five slaying of a strawman-I was trying to be sarcastic.

I do not question barbeque or living in the country or manners- I question them thinking they are the "Real Americans", that their values are better than ours, that they rebeled against the United States of America over slave ownership.

OK. I'll give you that one.

Chuck Schick wrote:

Taint wrote:

Chuck Schick wrote:

Sorry for thinking you would understand. A strawman argument is when you distort your opponents position and refute the fake argument. The argument presented was a high five slaying of a strawman-I was trying to be sarcastic.

I do not question barbeque or living in the country or manners- I question them thinking they are the "Real Americans", that their values are better than ours, that they rebeled against the United States of America over slave ownership.

OK. I'll give you that one.

This is why I lurk here... I'm not very good at posting.

Well keep working on it. Don't assume that anyone one else agrees with what the voices in your head are saying and you'll be fine.

George Orr wrote:

Texas is not The South, XReg, but the sentiment is appreciated.

Author unknown; possibly Lewis Grizzard wrote:

We know our heritage.  Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner).  We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of FedEx, Turner Broadcasting, MCI, MTV, Netscape).  Naturally, we do sometimes have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes, Kenneth Lay, Bush).  We don't care if you think we are dumb.  We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate.  If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments.  If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington.  If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the fuck up.  Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better.  Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it.  If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are.  Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

Yes, we know how to speak proper English.  We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you.  We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying.  All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters.  Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.

Don't ridicule our Southern manners.  We say sir and ma'am.  We hold doors open for others.  We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people.  Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside?  That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Los Angeles.  Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your sorry ass.

Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to barbecue.  This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked).  You're lucky we let you come down here at all.  Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box.  Minus your ass.

Probably my favorite saying about my people is:  "A Southerner will remain polite to you until you have made him angry enough to kill you."

Just for the record, as he was a great humorist, this was not penned by Lewis Grizzard.  The only thing remotely attributable to any of his recordings or writings(and believe me I have listened to and read all of them many times) is the bolded part about Delta.

Not that it makes any of it less true though.  However, Lewis was not foul mouthed and a lot funnier than this passage.

square wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOyx3r59L-I&t=2m37s

I hope you are not mocking The Southland, sir. If you are, I shall fart in your general direction.