You know, it's so crazy that I would almost be tempted to sign up just to see what they say if they didn't have such a history of being batshit crazy and hostile towards anyone who tries to leave and/or say anything bad about them. 

Last year I was in the mall looking for a Christmas present and some guy stopped me and asked me if I wanted to take a stress test.  I looked over and saw the copies of Dianetics and just laughed in his face.  He was steaming pissed, but trying hard not to show it.  Later on I was passing by and he was talking to someone else, so I yelled out as I passed, "He's a Scientologist!"

One thing I can't stand is any religion or philosophy that won't tell you who they are until you go to the meetings.

I had the same beef with the Jehovah's witnesses.  Due to my overly friendly demeanor I was once on both the English and Spanish list for the local Testigos de Jehova.   I find religions interesting, so I asked someone once what it is that they believed in, and they wouldn't tell me.  They wanted me to come to their Bible study to find out.  Come to think of it, it's the same problem with that Amway cult.