#1 2008-01-21 13:54:24
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
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#2 2008-01-21 14:04:23
You are going to make me late to work this afternoon.
Whoever took the trouble to compile this exquisite collection of quotes should receive some kind of medal.
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#3 2008-01-21 16:34:39
George Orr wrote:
You are going to make me late to work this afternoon.
Whoever took the trouble to compile this exquisite collection of quotes should receive some kind of medal.
I'll get my people on it:
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#4 2008-01-21 16:56:26
No wonder they got thrown to the lions.
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#5 2008-01-21 17:00:43
FSTDT drinking game (v 0.1 beta)
Each player picks one category and drinks when a quote from that category is read. Now load up the Random Quotes page on FSTDT and go nuts:
-Creationist bullshit (dangerous category!)
-Anecdotal Miracles (all players must shout "LIAR" when the drink is taken on this cat.)
-The Rapture is almost here, yay!
-Atheism == religion
-Death penalty for homosexuality
-Death penalty for heresy or unbelief
-Bad science
-Homosexuality is a choice
-Someone claiming to know what the LORD thinks/wants
-A woman's place is at home bearing/raising the babies
Everyone drinks when you encounter:
-Defense of slavery
-Sex is ONLY to be used for procreation
-Pro-lifer advocating the death penalty
-SATAN is making you think that!
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#6 2008-01-21 17:28:36
Could someone help me pick my chin up off the ground? I can't seem to keep from being agape whilst reading that list....
"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"
Bloody hell.
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#7 2008-01-21 20:19:49
Why do you hate America, Sailor?
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#8 2008-01-21 21:13:28
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#9 2008-01-21 21:14:25
choad wrote:
TAOISM: Of what value is the colon, but for the empty space it contains?
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2008-01-21 21:14:43)
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#10 2008-01-22 11:02:05
jesusluvspegging wrote:
-Someone claiming to know what the LORD thinks/wants
ding-ding-ding!!! My personal favorite - "the lord is omnipotent therefore I know he wouldn't do that"/"that's not how god works"/"you can only reach him through jesus" For fuck's sake he's god, he'll do anything he damn well pleases when and how he wants to do it.
jesusluvspegging wrote:
-A woman's place is at home bearing/raising the babies
I thought the woman's place was in the home mixing martini's?!?!?
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#11 2008-01-22 11:35:58
Emmeran wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
-A woman's place is at home bearing/raising the babies
I thought the woman's place was in the home mixing martini's?!?!?
This one I do agree with. In a lot of ways (at least when their children are very young), a woman's place is in the home. It's not practical for many people to pull off, however, and it's uncool (and un-Christian) to judge women who need to work outside the home.
I finally got to read the entire thing, and I must say that if the compiler of this didn't cite their sources, I would have a hard time believing this wasn't all made up.
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#12 2008-01-22 12:00:39
Don't Forget Barefoot and Pregnant. Winning Combo there.
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#13 2008-01-22 12:26:29
preferably Pregnant and Barefoot, and lacking education.
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#14 2008-01-22 13:05:51
Dmtdust wrote:
preferably Pregnant and Barefoot, and lacking education.
Well, of course. Educated and pregnant means you have to cram your swollen feet into your pumps and suffer until past your seventh month.
It's more like barefoot and chasing a toddler for me. And I have to use every iota of my overpriced education to outsmart his little ass. I don't resent it, though. It's fun to stay home with your kids.
The idea that it's going to somehow make my evil ass worthy of Christian heaven is pretty goddamned funny to me.
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#15 2008-01-22 13:13:52
My wife stayed at home for the first 5 years... We had a business go tits up, I declared bankruptcy, and she had to leave the home... sad to say. 3 years later, I was toxing out from working for Corporations, and NGO's.... and was able to volunteer at his school daily...
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#16 2008-01-22 14:43:23
Those Jesus Freaks are pretty angry people. I am sure a few of the Seven Deadly Sins were being used
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#17 2008-01-22 14:52:24
You fucknuts. I've posted that site so many times my eyes bled. And none of you were impressed then.
Losers.
RT
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#18 2008-01-22 15:20:05
I was impressed RT. But I haven't been able to knock up a single one of my fuckbuddies.
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#19 2008-01-23 02:20:42
And my co-workers think I'm joking when I say that I'm moving the hell out of the USA if Huckabee gets elected.
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#20 2008-01-23 09:51:30
Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
Nice! We know for a fact that Jesus only spoke English.
Last edited by Bigcat (2008-01-23 09:52:12)
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#21 2008-01-23 09:53:37
sigmoid freud wrote:
And my co-workers think I'm joking when I say that I'm moving the hell out of the USA if Huckabee gets elected.
Me too. Pretty soon Mexico is going to have the Illegal Alien problem.
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#22 2008-01-23 10:53:15
Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
Christians are SOOOOO funny!
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#23 2008-01-23 12:52:30
RT, do you need your eyestalks massaged?
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#24 2008-01-23 12:54:50
Also, I used to teach Sunday school (it's a long story, I liked the building) at this congregationalist church in our town until i realized the preschoolers weren't allowed to play with pretend dinosaurs. You know, the little plastic dinosaurs my son and everyone elses's sons grow up playing with. I asked why there weren't any, and i was told it was because there weren't any, they weren't mentioned in the bible so they didn't exist. I quit.
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#25 2008-01-24 00:24:10
sofaking wrote:
George Orr wrote:
You are going to make me late to work this afternoon.
Whoever took the trouble to compile this exquisite collection of quotes should receive some kind of medal.I'll get my people on it:
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/4120/b … sussf6.jpg
Sofie's image = vertical banner. I demand it!
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#26 2008-01-24 00:35:54
sigmoid freud wrote:
Sofie's image = vertical banner. I demand it!
I don't think you'd be able to read it.
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