Why oh why have we never started an asshat competition? Fnord, erstwhile title holder and still nominal champeen, would kneel before you. After that, of course, you're on your own.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Dmtdust wrote:

Ah, cut me some slack, you have no idea what I consumed and in what quantities over the last couple of days.

Describes my own post as well. One thing I've always wondered. How did you ever manage as a table waiter? I could juggle a busy kitchen seven sheets to the wind. Put me on a dining room floor, I was a bloody nightmare.

I wrote how I survived, but obviously screwed up posting.  I had a major accident with another waiter carrying a tray out the kitchen door after the first wine tasting I ever attended. I gulped, not sipped, and being young got out of my head rather rapidly.  Nearly cost me my job.  After that I stuck with stimulants, of the natural and amphetamine types.  Nothing as crude as benzedrine mind you.

Baywolfe wrote:

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Altruism is pointless. So are dogs. A cat is a far more sensible pet. A cat is objectively valuable.

I would love to see a proof of the objective value in a cat. (Assuming you don't own a granary.)

You'd be surprised.

Cats (much like dogs) are highly useful.  You just can't feed them all the time otherwise they just lazily lay around, wink at the intruder and hat themselves on HS.