Wolves were a scary idea for me as a kid, hearing the coyotes howl really scared the shit outta me....now it's just humans that have that effect.

pALEPHx wrote:

Very cool. I don't get the "swarm" ones, but I think the Behind-You/The Door/The Couch monsters are fairly clever. I wonder from where that particular phobia arises.

The couch phobia is probably due to one of those damned Coffin Couches in fnords latest post...seriously, I believe kids only learn to be fearful from those around them....

Last edited by Lurker (2008-04-28 19:55:18)

Taint wrote:

I'm sure I'll rue the day I mentioned this, but when I very small I had a terrible fear of the toilet flush. Not the toilet and nothing bowel-related, but the toilet's flush used to freak me out. It became quite the ordeal to position myself after attending to the task at hand, cleaning up, and then - standing by the door with one hand firmly on the door knob - reaching across to the toilet to flush and then escape from the bathroom as quickly as possible.

I'm sure a psychotherapist would have a field day with this.

Actually, I was the same way.  I'd lean over with one hand to flush the toilet while keeping the other one poised near the light switch so I could flush, switch, and run like hell.

The toilet is scary because you push that lever down and everything in the bowl goes away in a noisy swirl of water.  Where does it go?  When you're new to the world your imagination can provide some incredible answers to that question.

When I was about four my baby sister, a curious toddler who meant no harm, dropped my favorite teddy in the toilet and pushed the lever down, to see what would happen, I suppose.  To say I was hysterical...well, it was simply terrifying for me.  My mother had to spend the rest of the day comforting me. 

She washed Teddy and pinned him to the clothesline by his ears to dry.  I can still see that image in my mind.

tojo2000 wrote:

Taint wrote:

I'm sure I'll rue the day I mentioned this, but when I very small I had a terrible fear of the toilet flush. Not the toilet and nothing bowel-related, but the toilet's flush used to freak me out. It became quite the ordeal to position myself after attending to the task at hand, cleaning up, and then - standing by the door with one hand firmly on the door knob - reaching across to the toilet to flush and then escape from the bathroom as quickly as possible.

I'm sure a psychotherapist would have a field day with this.

Actually, I was the same way.  I'd lean over with one hand to flush the toilet while keeping the other one poised near the light switch so I could flush, switch, and run like hell.

So, I'm guessing because of this, you guys never watched "All In The Family"?
For those born post...whenever they stopped the re-runs, All In The Family was the first tv show to have a toilet flush during the show....in America...it was also one of the first shows to use the word "fag"

And I gotta ask George, was the bear "soiled"?

I'll give you proper kidhood fear.

Lurker wrote:

And I gotta ask George, was the bear "soiled"?

No--it was clean water.  But Teddy still had to have a hot bath in the washing machine, with lots of Tide, because...it was the toilet.  I was four.

asdf1971 wrote:

The whole toilet/bathtub/swirling into oblivion is a pretty common fear for the little ones.  At least I can tell mine that it all just goes to the septic tank in the back yard, not into that nasty dirty jobs sewer episode that we saw. 

Personally, I used to jump onto my bed from as far away as possible to avoid any monsters hanging out underneath the bed.  And then I made a pact with Dracula, who apparently had some sway with the other monsters.  I would warn him of upcoming Christian holidays, and the monsters would leave me alone.  Pretty fucked up for a seven year old, but it seemed to work.

You want fucked up?  I used to lie awake at night, terrified that one day I would go to heaven.  Not that I would die.  That I would go to heaven, and supposedly you won't miss anyone you left behind, and you'll be there forever... it made my stomach fill with ice cubes.   I'd moved about once every 2 years for most of my life, and it was scary enough starting somewhere new, but to have to be there forever, with absolutely nothing that you love...

Thanks to sadistic older siblings, I knew about the toilet monster, the under the bed monster, the floor furnace monster, the attic monster, and the storm drain biters among other horrible creatures that preyed on children.  I told my parents very early the “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayer freaked me out, causing sleeplessness and nightmares, so that little ritual stopped.

I have a cousin who had problems with toilet training because he was afraid he would fall in and be flushed away.  He insisted on crapping in a diaper (he was ok with standing in front of the toilet to piss) until his mother refused to deal with it anymore.

In one of my childhood homes, someTHING would tap on my second-floor bedroom window at about 4 am.  It used to scare me shitless.  I was about 8 years old, and nobody would believe me since there were no trees, roofs, or ledges for a raccoon or person to use as a perch, and no sign of anyone using a ladder to get up there.  For months it seemed I only slept when the sun was up,and I started to believe random crazy shit, like that those coal cellar doors you see near sidewalks were emergency rest stations for vampires.

Last edited by tits_matilda (2008-04-29 01:01:35)

I had recurring dreams of swinging in perfect circles, still too young to know carnival rides, and I was terrified I'd wake at the top of the arc, stall and fall.

whiskytangofoxtrot wrote:

We taught our second daughter that Febreze was magic monster spray, and we would sometimes peer in and see her intently vanquishing monsters and freshening her room...

Whiskey, you should send that in to the Febreze folks, it would make a cute commercial...

Fled wrote:

For me it was an unreasoning fear of Ma and Pa Kettle.

"Unreasoning"?  Those two are in league with Satan.

My horrible dream was arriving at school and realising I'd forgotten my trousers.

I know.

I need to seek professional counseling.

whosasailorthen wrote:

My horrible dream was arriving at school and realising I'd forgotten my trousers.

Surely you know how common a dream that one is.  I think whole psychology careers have been based on that dream.

I started having it in young adulthood--fear of responsibility, maybe, or fear of inadequacy as I embarked on my own life...for me it was dreams about trying to get to a job interview or the first day of a new job; I'd be constantly sidetracked and distracted as I tried to make my way to my destination, and around the time I realized I was irredeemably late, I'd look down and see I was in a bra and panties.

Not exactly nightmares, but unpleasant enough to cast a pall on the rest of your day.

Are irrational childhood fears really more horrible that rational adult fears?

Fled wrote:

Bozo with a chainsaw.

Fled, have you ever read the old Clive Barker short story, Dread?

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Now I'm the nightmare. Last year I came up a flight of basement stairs, opened a door and found myself at eye-level with a beautiful little blonde-haired boy...child of a friend of the family I was visiting...it was like staring at a photo of myself at the age of three.
Me: (with a snarl, through clenched teeth) I eat children.
Him: Waaaaaaaaaa....
I'm that kid's ogre now. At night his nanny checks under the bed for me.

That is just beautifully cruel.

Watch out, though, when that kid gets up in years...He might load up a modded shotgun and go looking for you.

George Orr wrote:

Fled wrote:

Bozo with a chainsaw.

Fled, have you ever read the old Clive Barker short story, Dread?

I have not.  I will, on your recommendation, unless you think I will never sleep soundly again.

Fled wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Fled wrote:

Bozo with a chainsaw.

Fled, have you ever read the old Clive Barker short story, Dread?

I have not.  I will, on your recommendation, unless you think I will never sleep soundly again.

I dunno if you would or not.  It features a very cruel character, his victims...and a cheerful clown.

I once checked into a hotel in Toronto, and very tired, I took a nap right after I got to my room. I had probably the most vivid nightmare of my life that afternoon.

I remember being chased throughout that entire building by a horde of grotesquely deformed people, hell-bent on killing me.  I ran through every hallway and up and down every stairwell in that hotel. I ran and ran, so panicked, I was crying. Finally, I was forced into a corner where, just as they descended upon me, I woke up.

My heart was racing, I was covered in sweat, and it took every bit of self control I had to not check out of that hotel then and there.

George Orr wrote:

Lurker wrote:

And I gotta ask George, was the bear "soiled"?

No--it was clean water.  But Teddy still had to have a hot bath in the washing machine, with lots of Tide, because...it was the toilet.  I was four.

He only looked clean on the outside George.

Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2008-04-30 02:38:04)

Fled wrote:

I'm that kid's ogre now.

One of my favorite conversations with you children, which I have had on several occasions, runs like this:

Me: I know about your last dream.
Kid: No you don't.
Me: Yes I do. I was there.  I was in your dream.
Kid: No you weren't.  You weren't in my dream.
Me: Oh yes I was.  And I was hiding.  Next time I'm not going to hide.

That is so wrong on so many levels. I can't wait to use it on some unsuspecting urchin.

Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2008-04-30 02:51:03)