We have 3 8-month old baby desert tortioses (Gopherus agassizii), but they know if they narc on me, they'll be shit outta luck. They're the size of large eggs, and have to be kept in a box to keep them away from predators.

They do like weeds, but I've never tried giving them weed. I spoil the fuck out of them, but that would be foolish.