#1 2008-08-09 04:44:09

And no, Taint and I don't want a nice arrangement sent.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photo/_new/080807-titan-arum-vlg-3p.widec.jpg

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#2 2008-08-09 05:48:34

pALEPHx wrote:

And no, Taint and I don't want a nice arrangement sent.

Too late.

https://cruelery.com/img/AmorphopenixTitanum.jpg



Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#3 2008-08-09 08:24:05

It looks very much like a giant penis?  I think that writer's penis must have problems.  It looks more like a giant incisor than a penis.

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#4 2008-08-09 10:04:57

Lesson learned:  Don't date Belgians.

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#5 2008-08-09 19:09:41

tojo2000 wrote:

I think that writer's penis must have problems.

Remember, Europeans are primarily uncircumcised and clearly possess long, dagger-like genitals. It's why they've been so popular in gayporn since the 1990s. You might not have known this. I'm just Julie your Cruise Director, now offering seating on the Fiesta Dick...the Lido, the Promenade...

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#6 2008-08-09 19:59:35

Every time one of these fucking things blooms it makes international news.  I'm sure there's video somewhere of people lining up to get a whiff.  What the hell is wrong with humans?  The plant is basically telling us to stay away.

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#7 2008-08-09 22:11:50

headkicker_girl wrote:

The plant is basically telling us to stay away.

Perhaps it's the most delicious thing in the world, and we're just too uncultured to appreciate it. Kinda reminds me of what they say about durian, which should be the Official Fruit of High Street. Now we just need a coin, a [freak] flag, and a favorite bird, and we're all set.

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#8 2008-08-09 23:30:17

pALEPHx wrote:

Kinda reminds me of what they say about durian, which should be the Official Fruit of High Street. Now we just need a coin, a [freak] flag, and a favorite bird, and we're all set.

Not quite; we'd need a coat of arms.  You're the graphics guy, so you get to make us one.

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#9 2008-08-10 01:43:51

George Orr wrote:

Not quite; we'd need a coat of arms. You're the graphics guy, so you get to make us one.

That sounds like an interesting little project. I'll start collecting images. Should there be cakefarts and asshats?

EDIT: I was thinking s'more about this and I think I'll give it a go. Anyone is welcome to help. Heraldic shields and coats of arms are highly symbolic illustrations. I've already got some durian, a corpse flower, and some poison ivy, so that pretty much does it for the border scrolls. We need a pithy line in Latin and some idea for the individual graphics that might go on the shield. I think I'll have a hat-wearing donkey on one side, but can't think what might go on the other.

Last edited by pALEPHx (2008-08-10 02:06:57)

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#10 2008-08-10 02:33:00

My personal Latin slogan is Semper Inconditus but I don't know if that works for all of High Street.b

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#11 2008-08-10 03:35:03

One of my recent favorites, originally posted by Dhal:

https://warehamwater.cruelery.com/img/tyrannis.png



Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#12 2008-08-10 03:56:37

pALEPHx wrote:

. . . which should be the Official Fruit of High Street.

Oh . . .  I was going to vote for Truman Capote; But . . .  Okay, what-ever.

Pale wrote:

a favorite bird . . .

I don't think that there's any fowl more ornery than the ostrich; But, I'll be interested in seeing the other nominations.

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#13 2008-08-10 04:08:15

How about a tard?

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#14 2008-08-10 04:36:06

Don't touch that!  Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions, and molecular structures...

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#15 2008-08-10 09:34:18

pALEPHx wrote:

We need a pithy line in Latin...

FACIO QUIDNAM VOLO.  Alternately, the phrase from the original Addams Family movie.  I can't remember it at the moment, but it's kind of long; something like, "With pleasure we devour those who would oppress us."

...I think I'll have a hat-wearing donkey on one side, but can't think what might go on the other.

The coats of arms I've seen have four images, not two; and yes, I don't see how you could omit an ass wearing a hat.

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#16 2008-08-10 09:46:37

pALEPHx wrote:

Now we just need a ...favorite bird, and we're all set.

That's easy.  Tits.

http://www.tonywhartonfrps.com/USERIMAGES/Long-tailed%20Tits(1).jpg

Last edited by Scotty (2008-08-10 09:46:57)

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#18 2008-08-10 12:12:51

Scotty wrote:

pALEPHx wrote:

Now we just need a ...favorite bird, and we're all set.

That's easy.  Tits.

Boobies

http://www.amazingjourneys.net/2008%20Galapagos/blue-footed-boobie-galapagos-big.jpghttp://www.chrisabraham.com/blue-footed-boobies-dance.jpg

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#19 2008-08-10 12:20:42

George Orr wrote:

we'd need a coat of arms.

Do you have any idea how many arms that takes? Sheesh.

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#20 2008-08-10 12:22:48

How about an official reptile?

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#21 2008-08-10 12:48:59

sigmoid freud wrote:

Coitus Ergo Sum

Well, we're obviously going to have to go with the saltire.

[edit] And something on the damn thing needs to be rampant.

Last edited by George Orr (2008-08-10 12:49:32)

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#22 2008-08-10 13:05:24

George Orr wrote:

sigmoid freud wrote:

Coitus Ergo Sum

Well, we're obviously going to have to go with the saltire.

[edit] And something on the damn thing needs to be rampant.

On behalf of Lefties everywhere, I request something sinister.

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#23 2008-08-10 15:20:53

sigmoid freud wrote:

How about an official reptile?

The obvious choice is a trouser snake:

http://pics.bestpicever.com/pics/pic_3424.jpg

http://www.t-shirthumor.com/Merchant2/graphics/fullsize/trsn_lg.gif

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/2/25/Trouser_snake.jpg/180px-Trouser_snake.jpg

http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/photos/uncategorized/dis_202_snakes_m5.jpg

And since we need a fourth...Sparkling Wiggles should round out the lot.  For fnord ya know.

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#24 2008-08-10 16:15:16

George Orr wrote:

The coats of arms I've seen have four images, not two; and yes, I don't see how you could omit an ass wearing a hat.

I meant for outside the shield portion, which certainly can be divided into four parts, but from what I'm seeing in my image searches so far, quarters is by no means a fixed representation. I'll probably try to go with four, anyway.

Tits and boobies make for interesting choices (I'd lean toward boobies because they're more distinctively shaped), but if I throw in some random phalluses--remember, we'll already have that obnoxious flower--it'll start looking like we're all about sex and, frankly, that sells us a little short.

High Streeters can try their own hand at making a coat of arms from scratch here and here.

Latin phrases to "inspire" you can be found here.

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#25 2008-08-10 16:24:59

for the latin, I think our only real choice is Caveat Lector (let the reader beware)

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#26 2008-08-10 17:42:06

pALEPHx wrote:

High Streeters can try their own hand at making a coat of arms from scratch here and here.

The second app is the better of the two, although it kept freezing up. Here's what I came up with on short notice. The red and grey harkens back to our roots. The latin reads "Up Yours." And the lion looks like he's flipping the bird.

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c109/woodielk/arms.jpg

Fun to play -- but I can't wait to see the one you design, pale.

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#27 2008-08-10 19:59:46

karenw wrote:

Fun to play -- but I can't wait to see the one you design, pale.

It's going to take me a few days to piece together something suitable, I think. Combination of 'new job schedule' and what I expect to eventually be a lot of cooks for one porridge. I think your 'quickie' is fetching and insightful. Since I am not as tenured/jaded as the rest, pray tell, what do the red and gray symbolize?

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/neca.eos.omnes.gif



Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#28 2008-08-10 20:03:58

I'm guessing he means this theme:  http://web.archive.org/web/200006211849 … cruel.com/

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#29 2008-08-10 20:05:20

pALEPHx wrote:

what do the red and gray symbolize?

cruel.com's layout made use of these colors.

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#30 2008-08-10 20:13:48

karenw wrote:

pALEPHx wrote:

what do the red and gray symbolize?

cruel.com's layout made use of these colors.

For ages and ages, cruel.com was red text on classic early-90s Internet Gray.  When rcade changed the color scheme people had hissy fits.  Including myself.

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#31 2008-08-11 00:07:42

karenw wrote:

pALEPHx wrote:

what do the red and gray symbolize?

cruel.com's layout made use of these colors.

Very well, then they shall be incorporated. Any more tales from the crypt? Things that might be due this strange honor? (btw, crimson was probably going to figure prominently anyhow, if not by coincidence, then because it's the color of blood)

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#32 2008-08-11 00:16:59

pALEPHx wrote:

Very well, then they shall be incorporated. Any more tales from the crypt? Things that might be due this strange honor?

Whilst I'm fairly certain that most every-body else hated that bastard, I was all-ways rather fond of the owl.

Yeah, give me that fucking look - Like I give a damn.

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#33 2008-08-11 00:27:18

I was gonna mention the owl.  All I can remember about it is that it was reading a book and was goofy-lookin'.  Did it have a mortarboard, too?  Does anyone have the image?

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#34 2008-08-11 01:30:17

George Orr wrote:

Does anyone have the image?

By all means, cough up any persistent graphics you might be able to lay hands on. (nothing from the NSFW thread, so just forget that)

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#35 2008-08-11 01:47:23

Perhaps The Cade can provide you an owl image.

Does anybody know the Latin for HAW! HAW! HAW!...?

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#36 2008-08-11 03:54:54

George Orr wrote:

Perhaps The Cade can provide you an owl image.

You mean thissa?

http://www.cadenhead.org/images/owl.gif

The Cade can. Took two seconds with "cruel, owl." Do we want this crest looking so cartoony? I'm not objecting, juss askin'.

Last edited by pALEPHx (2008-08-11 03:58:27)

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#37 2008-08-11 04:07:41

So, while I think that "caveat lector" is the natural choice for our slogan, "ex nostrum posteri" (from our posterior) would also be a decent choice.

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#38 2008-08-11 04:40:27

"Vestri matris penuria questus" (Eh, it doesn't really translate all that well)

pALEPHx wrote:

The Cade can. Took two seconds with "cruel, owl." Do we want this crest looking so cartoony?

Well, fuck all.  Why did I think that he had a mortar-board as well?  Still, I do love that intense concentration which he portrays.

Has the transition from Cruel to High-Street really taken us from occasionally enlightening verbiage to sour eye-candy in so short a period; Or, is that just me?  I could really use a fucking hug about now . . .   Or, a bong-hit . . .  what-ever.

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#39 2008-08-11 04:45:30

Decadence wrote:

Well, fuck all.  Why did I think that he had a mortar-board as well?

fucking tootsie roll pops.

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#40 2008-08-11 06:56:16

If we want to get all cartoony and ridiculous, it could also incorporate a mini M&Ms tube...

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#41 2008-08-11 14:09:23

karenw wrote:

If we want to get all cartoony and ridiculous, it could also incorporate a mini M&Ms tube...

Can't. It's a brand. Nice idea tho. I think I'll be doing at least two versions, to test. One will probably be more "cartoon-based" than the heraldic crests we've seen on other sites. Such an item, if I can get it done right, would double as a logo. Still need more suggestions for individual graphics to go inside the boxes.

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#42 2008-08-11 15:05:50

Can you do a long-necked bong crossing a liquor bottle?  Or perhaps a dildo...

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#43 2008-08-11 23:49:04

George Orr wrote:

Can you do a long-necked bong crossing a liquor bottle?  Or perhaps a dildo...

Bottle of absinthe.

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#44 2008-08-12 00:38:15

sigmoid freud wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Can you do a long-necked bong crossing a liquor bottle?  Or perhaps a dildo...

Bottle of absinthe.

It would be hard to tell, at that size, what sort of liquor it was. And dildo = phallus, rather directly. If people simply want a bouquet of penises, then speak now or forever hold your piece.

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#45 2008-08-12 00:53:19

pALEPHx wrote:

sigmoid freud wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Can you do a long-necked bong crossing a liquor bottle?  Or perhaps a dildo...

Bottle of absinthe.

It would be hard to tell, at that size, what sort of liquor it was. And dildo = phallus, rather directly. If people simply want a bouquet of penises, then speak now or forever hold your piece.

All in favor?

"Aye!"

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#46 2008-08-12 01:38:00

pALEPHx wrote:

If people simply want a bouquet of penises, then speak now or forever hold your piece.

I've no fucking clue what's going on here.  Are we getting the bong or not?  Was that the phallic reference?  Wait . . .  Is it too late to request a Fat Freddy Scat reference?

Fat Freddy Scat wrote:

I'm Fat Freddy's cat and I ain't no kitty.

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#47 2008-08-12 03:08:01

Decadence wrote:

I've no fucking clue what's going on here. Are we getting the bong or not? Was that the phallic reference?  Wait . . .  Is it too late to request a Fat Freddy Scat reference?

It's an ongoing case of "be careful what you wish for." I could easily pop a bong into one of the four panels still available for smaller, symbolic graphics, but we seem to be running the razor's edge on turning into the proverbial passel of penii. If everything everybody recommends is penile--either literally or merely phallic-shaped (remember, we started this with the 'titanic penis flower')--then it's just going to end up a crest of sexual one-note-ness. I still give us more credit than that.

Yes, I'll be willing to allow one panel for general drug-related debauch, but it's so hard to single out "Should it be a liquor bottle, a bong, a handful of pills, what..?" I will probably devote one quarter to a representation of 'all of the above' in some more abbreviated, graphic way. That still leaves three to fill.

I suppose I am asking all the Irregulars to dig deep into their memories for seminal imagery that doesn't necessarily involve semen. I want to make a serious go of the High Street Coat o' Arms, and have already begun collecting and editing the elements for one, but I don't wanna be stuck, drunk off my rocker on Friday, just blasting through lolcats, horses, and Meg K*lso's ass.

"Fat Freddy Scat" will require either an explanation or a graphic reference. I may have lurked for years, myself, but it's increasingly evident that many of the "major events" of Cruel Past did not have quite as much resonance for onlookers. Besides, this is NOT Cruel, and Cruel is dead. I don't mind chucking an owl or a severed head in there, but the symbolism should be based more on what we think HS is or should be. If the best many can come up with is weenie-palooza, and you've left it to a gay man to draw/digitize half a dozen forms of cock for a site-wide emblem, then you may be doubly disappointed if I actually succeed.

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#48 2008-08-12 03:33:26

pALEPHx wrote:

"Fat Freddy Scat" will require either an explanation or a graphic reference.

Nah, you can "lose" that one, Dude.  Dahl and I are likely the only two familiar with that particular feline any-way.

Pale wrote:

. . .  then it's just going to end up a crest of sexual one-note-ness. I still give us more credit than that.

Really?  Be-Cause . . .   Have you ever attempted to converse with any of these perverts (Yeah, give me that fucking look; But, you all know that I'm right)?

Pale wrote:

Yes, I'll be willing to allow one panel for general drug-related debauch, but it's so hard to single out "Should it be a liquor bottle, a bong, a handful of pills, what..?"

And, again, the "meth-heads" are ignored.  Yeah, way to create a bit of fucking harmony amongst the disenfranchised.

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#49 2008-08-12 04:08:09

Decadence wrote:

Really?  Be-Cause . . .   Have you ever attempted to converse with any of these perverts (Yeah, give me that fucking look; But, you all know that I'm right)? And, again, the "meth-heads" are ignored.  Yeah, way to create a bit of fucking harmony amongst the disenfranchised.

I'm sure there'll be some way to slip in a glass stem, for the crackies, methies, and whoever requires such an implement to consume their DoC. While we're at it, how about a syringe? How about a fan of about six of them, like arrows in the eagle's claw on various US denominations? :P

If I'm 'ignoring' our resident speedfreaks, it's mostly because they're not that evident to me. If anyone comes off like they're hitting crack and overdoing their posting, using convoluted word structures and rushing through premises they figure everyone else understands, then it's probably a dead heat between Wilber and I, and I know I'm not doin' any stimulants stronger than coffee.

Regardless, the "drug panel" will be as equitable as I can make it, graphics-wise. One cannot as easily translate a tab of blotter acid into something that will eventually be only a few pixels on a side, and then expect it to be seen and understood by all. The same really goes for 'mystic' symbolism (read as "Cthulu could make an appearance, but his many tentacles would bump off the ivy and the penis-shaped flowers").

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#50 2008-08-12 06:37:25

I think we need something that oozes satire -- I've tried to come up with a way to pay  homage to Swift's "Modest Proposal" but I'm afraid it would make us look like cannibals.

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