Not only would the DHS like to quiz your kid's pediatrician, the NSA is actively recruiting children. With furries.

Hey, kids! Have you ever wanted to listen in on the conversations of other people without them knowing it? Create codes that allow spies in the field to get information about enhanced interrogation techniques without those killjoys at Amnesty International finding out? Dress up as a totally extreme rapping turtle and get a blow job from a sexy lady squirrel? Well now you can, thanks to the Cryptokids— the NSA’s new program for young people and furfans... (source)

Sam McScritchy sez: C'mon, rat out your Commie parents!