#1 2008-11-25 20:58:45
After nearly a decade of tossing the idea around I've finally made the executive decision to remove myself from the gene pool... That's right, I plan on having a vasectomy... I made this decision for various philosophical reasons and the one thing that's stopped me from doing it before was the fact that I only have four living blood relatives and I'm the only one left that's young enough to reproduce.... I actually find it quite empowering seeing as I'm a direct ancestor of the first life that appeared on earth 3.5 billion years ago and I've chosen to stop this lineage after all the generations of struggling for survival...
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#2 2008-11-25 21:02:33
Ejaculate into a clear plastic bowl with magnifying glasses all over it first, so you can observe your last sperm as if they were sea monkey's till your inevitable death.
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#3 2008-11-25 22:49:39
Dirckman wrote:
After nearly a decade of tossing the idea around I've finally made the executive decision to remove myself from the gene pool... That's right, I plan on having a vasectomy...
Best thing I ever did. Granted, I did it after producing an XY and an XX, but it was the best decision since the only thing I am missing is the worry. I still can do everything I had done before, except make crotchfruit. That is, all the pleasure, none of the pain.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#4 2008-11-25 23:07:29
Welcome to the club.
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#5 2008-11-25 23:48:23
Dirkman wrote:
I actually find it quite empowering seeing as I'm a direct ancestor of the first life that appeared on earth 3.5 billion years ago and I've chosen to stop this lineage after all the generations of struggling for survival...
If you are 3.5 billion years old and one of the direct ancestors of the first life that appeared on Earth, I’m pissed off at you. It’s become obvious to me I don’t take after your part of the family; I won’t survive to see my 1000th birthday, let alone live for even one billion years.
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#6 2008-11-26 00:15:04
The doctor I talked to did everything short of refusing to do the procedure to talk me out of it..... He told me that it's something that's usually done for people who already have children, how I'm still fairly young, how I might meet someone that I want to have children with... Some people think it's important to reproduce themselves and that's fine for them, but the whole idea of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth... I don't think I would be a good parent, I can only stand people for six month increments before they just annoy the hell out of me and I want to escape... I've spent my whole life doing everything for me and me alone, I'm a clean freak, I tend to hate children, etc. etc...... What's important to me is gettin' drunk every night on Scotch, taking nice vacations and gettin' laid whenever I get the chance.... Whether or not those are the most noble things I'm at least being honest and not hurting anyone in the process....
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#7 2008-11-26 00:19:14
You're doing the right thing Dirkman. Men who flash their penises on the Internet and refer to themselves in the third person really shouldn't raise kids.
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#8 2008-11-26 00:22:07
fnord wrote:
Dirkman wrote:
I actually find it quite empowering seeing as I'm a direct ancestor of the first life that appeared on earth 3.5 billion years ago and I've chosen to stop this lineage after all the generations of struggling for survival...
If you are 3.5 billion years old and one of the direct ancestors of the first life that appeared on Earth, I’m pissed off at you. It’s become obvious to me I don’t take after your part of the family; I won’t survive to see my 1000th birthday, let alone live for even one billion years.
I'm not 3.5 billion years old, but my genes are 3.5 billion years in the making.... The only reason I'm here now is because millions of generations of my ancestors had the common sense or just pure dumb luck to get out of the cold, eat and fuck... Life doesn't require much.... I'm putting a stop to all of this purely out of hedonistic, intellectual and selfish reasons.....
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#9 2008-11-26 00:44:49
Oh my god. I'm the female Dirckman!!!!
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#10 2008-11-26 00:49:07
I think this is a far better solution than either of you populating the future world with twisted spawn.
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#11 2008-11-26 00:56:05
It's OK. I'll produce two just to make up for Dirckman.
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#12 2008-11-26 00:58:42
Taint wrote:
It's OK. I'll produce two just to make up for Dirckman.
Have them with RT and I'll pay you five dollars. For the video rights, that is.
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#13 2008-11-26 01:04:02
This whole thing has got me excited actually.... It seems so philosophically right in an intellectual and atheistic sense..... It's all about mankind finally evolving to the level that they don't find it necessary to become a breeder.... I've tried my damndest to find one thing that seperates mankind from the animals, be it culture, intelligence, or anything.... Other than being able to interpret extra-somatic information all I can come up with is the ability to overcome ones ability to reproduce... Holy shit but I'm fuckin' drunk...
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#14 2008-11-26 01:21:25
Unless you were going to breed the Messiah, it's just a vasectomy, Dirck. But we still love you.
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#15 2008-11-26 01:29:05
Dirckman wrote:
This whole thing has got me excited actually.... It seems so philosophically right in an intellectual and atheistic sense..... It's all about mankind finally evolving to the level that they don't find it necessary to become a breeder.... I've tried my damndest to find one thing that seperates mankind from the animals, be it culture, intelligence, or anything.... Other than being able to interpret extra-somatic information all I can come up with is the ability to overcome ones ability to reproduce... Holy shit but I'm fuckin' drunk...
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#16 2008-11-26 03:08:52
Just to warn you, there may be sore testicles the size of tennis balls in your future................................
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#17 2008-11-26 06:16:11
Hey, ladies! Choad's penis puppet* makes regular appearances, remains always alert, anatomically erect, fully functional, and available for children's parties. Stud service on demand. Call today!
(*)As Seen On TV!
Last edited by choad (2008-11-26 06:19:07)
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#18 2008-11-26 06:36:33
Roger_That wrote:
Oh my god. I'm the female Dirckman!!!!
Will you be dressing up your hoo-ha for our amusement any time soon?
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#19 2008-11-26 07:09:44
tojo2000 wrote:
Just to warn you, there may be sore testicles the size of tennis balls in your future................................
Tighty-whities, a bag of frozen peas, vicodin/scotch/grass, three days riding the couch and absolutely no lifting over 25 pounds should take care of that.
By the way Drick, your doctor was concerned for one thing in trying to talk you out of the "V": Liability.
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