#1 2008-12-13 20:56:17

I am currently being molested by a 15 year old friend of Sofakid.

Where is the special police task force for adults being molested by children?

I am sending them away now that I have fed them. I need a joint.

Offline

 

#2 2008-12-13 21:05:05

Umm, Sofie, both Mr. Sofa and Sofakid know about High Street.  Now that that warning is out of the way, you need to be more specific.  Is the little bugger engaging in unwanted groping, or are you doing his future girlfriend a favor?  Are you a victim or are you the Mrs. Robinson here?

Offline

 

#3 2008-12-13 21:08:22

We need a video.  Can you provide one off your web cam please?

Offline

 

#4 2008-12-13 21:32:19

fnord wrote:

Umm, Sofie, both Mr. Sofa and Sofakid know about High Street.  Now that that warning is out of the way, you need to be more specific.  Is the little bugger engaging in unwanted groping, or are you doing his future girlfriend a favor?  Are you a victim or are you the Mrs. Robinson here?

They know about the molestation. Mr. Sofie is conveniently outta town on bigness.

I am DEFINITELY THE VICTIM.  Being victimized as I type this.

HELP MEEEEEEE. I am being groped.

Fuckmerunning. Call the authorities.

Offline

 

#5 2008-12-13 21:34:25

Turn on your webcam, and where is little Mr. Sofakid?

Offline

 

#6 2008-12-13 21:39:29

Dmtdust wrote:

Turn on your webcam, and where is little Mr. Sofakid?

They just left to go to the gym. He was here, too.

I NEED SOME POT NOW.

All I have is 1/2 a fucking Vicodin and the overwhelming urge to go take a shower.

His friend said before they left, "Hey, [redacted], remember the time before I hit puberty?"

*tears out huge clumps of hair*

*calls dope supplier*

Offline

 

#7 2008-12-13 21:43:25

I would suggest a talk with his parental units and banning him from your home.

Offline

 

#8 2008-12-13 21:47:54

Buy a taser.  He does it again, shock his balls.

Offline

 

#9 2008-12-13 21:48:54

fnord wrote:

I would suggest a talk with his parental units and banning him from your home.

It's not that simple. They've been friends forever, and he's actually a really good kid. I think he does it for the reaction he gets more than for the jollies.

Mr. Sofie will give him a talking-to.

I'm okay now that they're gone. They even did the dishes for me.

Offline

 

#10 2008-12-13 21:56:07

"I'm okay now that they're gone. They even did the dishes for me."

That's how it starts.  I owe so much to my older sisters friends, and friends of my mother.  really.

Offline

 

#11 2008-12-13 22:02:11

Dmtdust wrote:

"I'm okay now that they're gone. They even did the dishes for me."

That's how it starts.  I owe so much to my older sisters friends, and friends of my mother.  really.

Nigga pleeeeez.

That's all well and good for the fugly lonely teachers of the world, but I am neither fugly or wanting for sex with a teenager.

He's either been overcome with raging hormones, or is playing my ass like a Stradivarius.

Offline

 

#12 2008-12-13 22:06:17

Just sayin.

anyway, as you say: "or is playing my ass like a Stradivarius"  and doing it very well, but getting some jolly level out of doing it.

Offline

 

#13 2008-12-13 22:08:48

Oh... and none of em were Fugly.  Praise The Lord!

Offline

 

#14 2008-12-13 22:24:45

I hope the talk with Mr. Sofa will solve the problem.  If not, reconsider the talk with the parental units.  If I were the parent of a teenager who was accused of sexually harassing a woman old enough to be his mother, we would talk.  Even if I thought the older woman was nuts, I would explain the potential danger the boy is in.  The courts are inclined to believe a woman over a man in this country.  There is a chance of jail time and having to register as a sex offender.  And then there is the possibility of a civil action by said older woman.

Offline

 

#15 2008-12-13 22:28:04

Look, however friendly you are with his parents and however "good" a kid he is when he's not groping you, the basic problem is as follows:

This young man is physically interfering with an unwilling female.  He continues after being told to stop.  In most quarters this is known as "sexual assault." 

Think:  if it were any other female but you--if it were a girl his own age, for instance--how "good" a kid would you think he was?

You don't seem to realize it, but by not stopping this you are teaching that boy that he can get away with shit like this.

Give his little balls a healthy pinch.  I mean it.  Make him cry.  And ask him who else he is doing this kind of shit to.

Offline

 

#16 2008-12-13 22:35:11

George Orr wrote:

Look, however friendly you are with his parents and however "good" a kid he is when he's not groping you, the basic problem is as follows:

This young man is physically interfering with an unwilling female.  He continues after being told to stop.  In most quarters this is known as "sexual assault." 

Think:  if it were any other female but you--if it were a girl his own age, for instance--how "good" a kid would you think he was?

You don't seem to realize it, but by not stopping this you are teaching that boy that he can get away with shit like this.

Give his little balls a healthy pinch.  I mean it.  Make him cry.  And ask him who else he is doing this kind of shit to.

Ironically enough, you all are saying it to him (and Sofakid), too. They will see this later, as I started this thread right in front of them. I couldn't pinch the balls. He's bigger than me, and I'm pushing 6 feet.
So this is good.

Mr. Sofie will deal with it, too.

Offline

 

#17 2008-12-13 22:37:23

What George said. What if he does that to Sofakid, and doesn't take no for an answer? 

Take action, now. Start with his parents.

Offline

 

#18 2008-12-13 22:38:53

sigmoid freud wrote:

What George said. What if he does that to Sofakid, and doesn't take no for an answer? 

Take action, now. Start with his parents.

Oh, all right.

I'll talk to his mommy.

Offline

 

#19 2008-12-13 22:39:09

I say kick him in the nuts. Just once, hard. While he's on the ground, you can lecture him about "no zones" and "what other mothers might do." Chances are good he will never repeat this sort of behavior with a female again.

Offline

 

#20 2008-12-13 22:39:39

sofaking wrote:

Ironically enough, you all are saying it to him (and Sofakid), too. They will see this later, as I started this thread right in front of them.

Hey, Molesto-Boy:  A less understanding lady (for instance, me) would have already put a wound on you that'd leave a scar, banned you from her property, told your parents on you, and very possibly contacted the police.

Offline

 

#21 2008-12-13 22:44:01

Sofakid, by allowing your friend to harass and disrespect your mother, you are showing yourself to be a spineless weakling!

You only get one mother; yours is an exceptionally cool, intelligent and approachable one.  I couldn’t discuss a lot of things with mine when I was your age and tried to keep her and her disapproval away from my friends.  Now that she is gone I miss her.

Last edited by fnord (2008-12-14 01:05:16)

Offline

 

#22 2008-12-13 22:52:54

One of my son's friends made "MILF" wisecracks at me for a while . . . I let him know he was an annoying little fuck. He doesn't come over anymore. And now I hear that he likes boys. I take no responsibility for this.

Offline

 

#24 2008-12-13 22:55:40

What everyone said.  Don't even try to humour the situation.  Boundaries, are Boundaries.  By dealing with this situation now, you'll be helping him.  Remember: "It's Cruel To Be Kind".

Offline

 

#25 2008-12-13 22:58:26

Lead him on then peg him when he least expects it.

Offline

 

#26 2008-12-13 23:05:55

karenw wrote:

One of my son's friends made "MILF" wisecracks at me for a while . . . I let him know he was an annoying little fuck. He doesn't come over anymore. And now I hear that he likes boys. I take no responsibility for this.

t

I had a set of brothers acting like that. Sofakid always asks for them to come over...but NOOOOOOO! We also had one that showed Sofakid Redtube. He got gone, too.

This kid is not expendable like that, though. He's like a family member.

See, my problem is that I am a smartass drug addict, and that makes it hard to define boundaries.

Mr. Sofie will help define these boundaries.

Offline

 

#27 2008-12-13 23:44:27

Hopefully you haven't gotten high in front of or with this young man....

Offline

 

#28 2008-12-13 23:57:25

Dmtdust wrote:

Hopefully you haven't gotten high in front of or with this young man....

Of course not. But most people who know me for any length of time are well aware of my vices. I don't hide things well.

Offline

 

#29 2008-12-14 00:21:52

I swear to God, one of the dudes I dated in High School dated me just to get to my Mom.  She's a fox.  And my Grandma looks like she's in her late 50s, but she's pushing 80.  I'm lucky to have good genes.

I know you're loaded, but you REALLY must be rollin' in the dough, to be so open about your pot smoking in front of the youngsters.  He's not the kind of kid who would tell on you about smokin' if you talked to his parental units, is he?

And Mr. Molester....I assume you're just getting your rocks off hitting on an atractive older woman (cause if Sofa says she's pretty, I'll believe her).  I will also assume that you're just "playin'" but would jump at the chance if offered.  But remember, sex with older women and underaged boys never turns out well.  Look at that poor minority kid who fucked Mary Kay Latourno (sp?).  He's married to her.  And they've got all kinds of rugrats.  Not a great life, if you ask me.

Think about it.  There are plenty of hot girls to impregnate and then pay for their abortions before you get stuck marrying one of them.

Offline

 

#30 2008-12-14 00:40:26

feisty wrote:

I swear to God, one of the dudes I dated in High School dated me just to get to my Mom.  She's a fox.  And my Grandma looks like she's in her late 50s, but she's pushing 80.  I'm lucky to have good genes.

I know you're loaded, but you REALLY must be rollin' in the dough, to be so open about your pot smoking in front of the youngsters.  He's not the kind of kid who would tell on you about smokin' if you talked to his parental units, is he?

And Mr. Molester....I assume you're just getting your rocks off hitting on an atractive older woman (cause if Sofa says she's pretty, I'll believe her).  I will also assume that you're just "playin'" but would jump at the chance if offered.  But remember, sex with older women and underaged boys never turns out well.  Look at that poor minority kid who fucked Mary Kay Latourno (sp?).  He's married to her.  And they've got all kinds of rugrats.  Not a great life, if you ask me.

Think about it.  There are plenty of hot girls to impregnate and then pay for their abortions before you get stuck marrying one of them.

My mommy is the same age as John McCain, and has not one wrinkle. She looks like Sela Ward (but older).

None of my friends ever fucked with her, though. Funny enough, she and my dad took him and my kid out to the Cheesecake Factory last weekend, and she mentioned how nice this kid is.

I don't think it has to do with attractiveness, so much as accessibility. I'm not ugly, but I think it's more that I'm approachable than any attraction level. I'm probably wrong. I'm often wrong.

I'm not gonna tell his mom. If he wants to join the Future Date Rapists of America, that's on him. He's a nice kid.

Offline

 

#31 2008-12-14 00:48:04

sofaking wrote:

I'm not gonna tell his mom. If he wants to join the Future Date Rapists of America, that's on him. He's a nice kid.

If you want him to remain a nice kid, you'll do him a bigger favor and discuss the matter with his folks, then. Really.

Offline

 

#32 2008-12-14 01:07:32

sofaking wrote:

Ironically enough, you all are saying it to him (and Sofakid), too. They will see this later, as I started this thread right in front of them. I couldn't pinch the balls. He's bigger than me, and I'm pushing 6 feet.
So this is good.

Mr. Sofie will deal with it, too.

If size matters me and Emmeran-boy will make a trip, a little warm up for the rugby season if you will; and if you recall recent events we have a tad build-up of extreme frustration.

On the realistic side - slap him hard and fast, fury is your friend.

But me and the boy prefer you give us a destination and street addy - we could use it about now.


(also - call his mother)

Offline

 

#33 2008-12-14 01:13:12

sigmoid freud wrote:

What George said. What if he does that to Sofakid, and doesn't take no for an answer? 

Take action, now. Start with his parents.

And start with your own kid - he should be kicking this boy's ass or dying trying.  At this point I don't want to assume about your kid; but if what you say is true I'm embarrassed to have him represent the gender.

Sofakid - if you aren't beating this worthless piece of shit with a ball-bat you may as well be him.

Offline

 

#34 2008-12-14 01:14:00

sofaking wrote:

He's a nice kid.

NO HE is NOT!!!

Offline

 

#35 2008-12-14 01:22:11

Emmeran wrote:

sofaking wrote:

He's a nice kid.

NO HE is NOT!!!

We're gonna have a nice chat. All of us.

And yes he is nice. I've known him for many years.

I'll nip this in the bud.

Offline

 

#36 2008-12-14 01:30:29

Dusty, if you had any daughters, you wouldn't speak this way. Sofie, if the kid's father can't handle the news, he doesn't belong in your home. Adolescent boys don't believe they'll live long enough to get laid again. Or ever. Some of them don't.

Offline

 

#37 2008-12-14 01:41:21

choad wrote:

Dusty, if you had any daughters, you wouldn't speak this way. Sofie, if the kid's father can't handle the news, he doesn't belong in your home. Adolescent boys don't believe they'll live long enough to get laid again. Or ever. Some of them don't.

Help me out Choad, which of the several probably stupid statements are you on about?

Offline

 

#38 2008-12-14 02:11:18

Dmtdust wrote:

Help me out Choad, which of the several probably stupid statements are you on about?

That's how it starts.  I owe so much to my older sisters friends, and friends of my mother.  really.

If a kid's disrespecting his friend's mother, it's not a joke.

Offline

 

#39 2008-12-14 02:14:58

Sofakid seems to be getting off kind of easy on this, too.  What kind of asshole doesn't stand up for his own mother in a situation like this?  I think he needs to think about what he is and isn't doing about this situation and why.

Offline

 

#40 2008-12-14 02:15:28

I say live life a little....  You only live once and let's face it, us High Streeters are gettin' old........

Offline

 

#41 2008-12-14 02:19:59

choad wrote:

Dmtdust wrote:

Help me out Choad, which of the several probably stupid statements are you on about?

That's how it starts.  I owe so much to my older sisters friends, and friends of my mother.  really.

If a kid's disrespecting his friend's mother, it's not a joke.

Ermmmm.... I wasn't approving it.  And the situation(s) I was quoting from my own sordid youth never was with any of my friends mom's, sisters etc.  With that said, I guess you missed the part where I said to taser him in the balls, right?

Offline

 

#42 2008-12-14 06:20:00

sofaking wrote:

feisty wrote:

I swear to God, one of the dudes I dated in High School dated me just to get to my Mom.  She's a fox.  And my Grandma looks like she's in her late 50s, but she's pushing 80.  I'm lucky to have good genes.

I know you're loaded, but you REALLY must be rollin' in the dough, to be so open about your pot smoking in front of the youngsters.  He's not the kind of kid who would tell on you about smokin' if you talked to his parental units, is he?

And Mr. Molester....I assume you're just getting your rocks off hitting on an atractive older woman (cause if Sofa says she's pretty, I'll believe her).  I will also assume that you're just "playin'" but would jump at the chance if offered.  But remember, sex with older women and underaged boys never turns out well.  Look at that poor minority kid who fucked Mary Kay Latourno (sp?).  He's married to her.  And they've got all kinds of rugrats.  Not a great life, if you ask me.

Think about it.  There are plenty of hot girls to impregnate and then pay for their abortions before you get stuck marrying one of them.

My mommy is the same age as John McCain, and has not one wrinkle. She looks like Sela Ward (but older).

None of my friends ever fucked with her, though. Funny enough, she and my dad took him and my kid out to the Cheesecake Factory last weekend, and she mentioned how nice this kid is.

I don't think it has to do with attractiveness, so much as accessibility. I'm not ugly, but I think it's more that I'm approachable than any attraction level. I'm probably wrong. I'm often wrong.

I'm not gonna tell his mom. If he wants to join the Future Date Rapists of America, that's on him. He's a nice kid.

My mom's a little older.  She looks like pie crust that was left in the sun for a week and walks like a crab with ms.

Offline

 

#43 2008-12-14 06:33:13

Eliminate the little shitter with extreme prejudice.

&

sofaking, stop sharing every fucking thing with the "world".  It quite possibly causes much of problems such as this.
["just sayin' "]

Offline

 

#44 2008-12-14 17:35:57

You know what I just realized?  We are going on and on and we have no fucking clue what the kid actually did.  Sofa, what the fuck did he do that was so bad?  Did he make a few flippant comments, or did he make a grab for your lady bits?  Was it out of the blue, or were you all talking dirty?  I think before we give advice, we should really know what the situation was, and in what context.

Offline

 

#45 2008-12-14 17:58:18

If Sofie is freaked out by it, that’s a good enough reason for it to come to a halt whether it’s comments, inappropriate touching, or both.

Offline

 

#46 2008-12-14 17:59:33

tojo2000 wrote:

Sofakid seems to be getting off kind of easy on this, too.  What kind of asshole doesn't stand up for his own mother in a situation like this?  I think he needs to think about what he is and isn't doing about this situation and why.

For realz. Why are you bein' a pussy, dude? He's hitting on your MOM. Do you really want the two of them to start fucking? Do you?

Offline

 

#47 2008-12-14 18:16:21

sofaking wrote:

See, my problem is that I am a smartass drug addict, and that makes it hard to define boundaries.

There is something to that, sweetie.

Man, he'd better not try to post his weepy coming-of-age "Mommy Dearest" memoir on here. I'm just sayin'.

Offline

 

#48 2008-12-14 18:32:42

feisty wrote:

You know what I just realized?  We are going on and on and we have no fucking clue what the kid actually did.  Sofa, what the fuck did he do that was so bad?  Did he make a few flippant comments, or did he make a grab for your lady bits?  Was it out of the blue, or were you all talking dirty?  I think before we give advice, we should really know what the situation was, and in what context.

I'm not gonna get into it. It included inappropriate touching, things he says, etc.

When they arrived back here today he was the perfect gentleman. I think this worked.

Offline

 

#49 2008-12-14 19:36:51

MSG Tripps wrote:

Eliminate the little shitter with extreme prejudice.

&

sofaking, stop sharing every fucking thing with the "world".  It quite possibly causes much of problems such as this.
["just sayin' "]

I think what Dhal is trying to say is doesn't your hometown have an apropos slogan about now?

Offline

 

#50 2008-12-14 19:38:26

You mean like this?  "What happens in Las Vegas, stays really fucking twisted and won't exit your mind even after the event has long since passed"?

Offline

 

Board footer

cruelery.com