Ouch.  Advice: Get utterly stoned.  Immediately.

Breaking up in any fashion other than face-to-face is bad, baaaad form,* and now for the rest of her life she gets to describe you to people in one sentence:  "I had an ex break up with me via IM!" and paint you as the Worst Prick in the World, and you just have to own it, hon. 

But everyone has faux pas in their life stories, and we sympathize.  Take sailor's advice and lay low for a while.  You heartless prick.


*Obviously, exceptions can be made when the other party is crazy/potentially violent/geographically inaccessible.

So now she’s single? a/s/l?  Is she BARTable?

Don’t feel bad O+; at least IM is private.  I got dumped via a woman’s entire social circle.  I showed up at a function and everyone knew but me.  One by one, they proceeded to tell me in pseudo confidence.  She never even spoke to me about it.

orangeplus wrote:

I just accidentally broke up with my girlfriend over IM. I meant to set up a time to do it later, face-to-face, but it was obvious where I was going. Life sucks and I am praying for an earthquake, like an 8 or a 9.

Ohhhh, Orangina.

ah297900 wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Breaking up in any fashion other than face-to-face is bad, baaaad form...

See, I think this is a girl thing. I think I, and some other guys I know, would almost prefer to get dumpted over the phone. There's no new friend-hug to negotiate, no awkward looking around the room to avoid eye contact, and when you hang up you get immediate distance and privacy. Anybody else feel that way, or just me?

Absolutely agree.  The Dear John letter was the preferred method before email and IM.  There can be nothing worse than that awkward period between getting (or giving) the news and getting out the door.

Last edited by phreddy (2009-01-13 16:04:14)

Obviously your brother, orangecrush, would have never done anything that spineless.

How about walking in on the partner and her erm.... multiple partners in flagrante delicto?  After the initial shock, and they finish off you can piss off to the local pub with all your new friends!

orangeplus wrote:

Ok, first of all wtf is break-up sex? Are there women out there who will actually fuck the guy who just dumped them? Be some weepy-ass sex, no thank you.

And well, the last girl that dumped me was almost 20 years ago. I never understand why women won't end something that is obviously wrong for them. The gal I am in the process of detangling from would never dump me, and for the last two months has cried at least once every time we spent time together. I don't get that.

Lastly, OrangeCrush is a queer animal affectionado, he doesn't have these problems.

Guys act like douchebags because they want women to dump them; women put up with it because they think that somewhere inside that asshole there's a good man.  It's twisted.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/13/scien … ef=science

Just to not allow for the blackening of my good internet handle, there was no attempt on my part to get her to break up with me. It's just we have non-complimentary insanities and I can see it's tearing her up as much as it is me. I would claim no douchebaggery, but the douche is in the vagina of the holder, so to speak. Any douchiness on my part, if there had been, was completely natural home grown douchy, without agenda.

Orange, you've never had break up sex? It's great. You get all the physical intensity plus a little extra, some emotional intensity just to make it seem significant, and then you get to walk away.

Did you not get the memo?

ah297900 wrote:

George Orr wrote:

Breaking up in any fashion other than face-to-face is bad, baaaad form...

See, I think this is a girl thing. I think I, and some other guys I know, would almost prefer to get dumpted over the phone. There's no new friend-hug to negotiate, no awkward looking around the room to avoid eye contact, and when you hang up you get immediate distance and privacy. Anybody else feel that way, or just me?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is terrible advice and will lead to a lot of pent-up resentment.

Dirckman wrote:

I do all my breakups via text messaging....  Don't let it bug you, we're all assholes here at High Street....

I can totally see your ass texting "l8r".

Seriously, though, how does that work?

Last time I broke up with someone, my cell phone was a fucking brick.

sofaking wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

I do all my breakups via text messaging....  Don't let it bug you, we're all assholes here at High Street....

I can totally see your ass texting "l8r".

Seriously, though, how does that work?

Last time I broke up with someone, my cell phone was a fucking brick.

Last time I did it I sent a text saying "We're not doing each other any good"...  She asked why and I just texted back that any relationship with me would go nowhere because I don't want a relationship and that since she did, that it was unfair my pretending there was one....

Last edited by Dirckman (2009-01-13 22:34:22)

ah297900 wrote:

sofaking wrote:

Dirckman wrote:

I do all my breakups via text messaging....  Don't let it bug you, we're all assholes here at High Street....

I can totally see your ass texting "l8r".

Seriously, though, how does that work?

Last time I broke up with someone, my cell phone was a fucking brick.

AIDS, kthxbai! :(

That's actually an awesome breakup text!!!  I'm gonna use that one next time!!

Emmeran wrote:

It really doesn't matter in the end as you happen to be on the winning side of the equation.  When we were young there were more boys than girls and the cute girls were in high demand, now that we're older and the foolish boys have killed themselves being cool the odds are in our favor. 

So much so in fact that getting laid no longer requires effort and part of the joy has been stolen away.

If you don't believe just post a picture of yourself with a cool car on craigslist, you'll be beating them off with a stick.

That's exactly how it goes Mr. Emmeran...  Fresh out of highschool getting laid was such a massive undertaking and a seemingly impossible goal.....  Once Darwin does his magic and wipes out the "foolish boys" life gets easier...  You then have the next group of males that can't seem to hold down a job or tend to age a little too quickly and suddenly you're in pussy heaven...  When you're past the age of thirty women will fuck anyone that doesn't use needle drugs or has a job...

It is done, I am a single man. I'm feeling cruel, mean and a-ok!

Dirckman wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

It really doesn't matter in the end as you happen to be on the winning side of the equation.  When we were young there were more boys than girls and the cute girls were in high demand, now that we're older and the foolish boys have killed themselves being cool the odds are in our favor. 

So much so in fact that getting laid no longer requires effort and part of the joy has been stolen away.

If you don't believe just post a picture of yourself with a cool car on craigslist, you'll be beating them off with a stick.

That's exactly how it goes Mr. Emmeran...  Fresh out of highschool getting laid was such a massive undertaking and a seemingly impossible goal.....  Once Darwin does his magic and wipes out the "foolish boys" life gets easier...  You then have the next group of males that can't seem to hold down a job or tend to age a little too quickly and suddenly you're in pussy heaven...  When you're past the age of thirty women will fuck anyone that doesn't use needle drugs or has a job...

And most guys will fuck anything that doesn't shred their dick too much in the process.  Life after 40 is fucking utopian, innit?

The thing I've noticed in the past few years is that all the men I've dated, a group that straddles a wide range of ages, have wanted to plant their tongues in my bunghole.  WTF is up with that?  Is cougar rectum the newest sushi fad?

Ya know, I couldna put it in words specifically the things about her that were fucking me up. After her reaction, and what she said to me tonight, I totally can.

exdwarf wrote:

The thing I've noticed in the past few years is that all the men I've dated, a group that straddles a wide range of ages, have wanted to plant their tongues in my bunghole.  WTF is up with that?  Is cougar rectum the newest sushi fad?

Not sure why.  Perhaps if we were to see said bunghole we could evaluate it and determine if it is, indeed, a special bung.

phoQ wrote:

Orangejulius wrote:

It is done, I am a single man. I'm feeling cruel, mean and a-ok!

I’d buy you a drink and commiserate if I could.

exdwarf wrote:

The thing I've noticed in the past few years is that all the men I've dated, a group that straddles a wide range of ages, have wanted to plant their tongues in my bunghole.  WTF is up with that?

Maybe because it is such good shape compared to your vagina.  Sorry.

I wish : (

Dmtdust wrote:

exdwarf wrote:

phoQ wrote:

Orangejulius wrote:

It is done, I am a single man. I'm feeling cruel, mean and a-ok!

I’d buy you a drink and commiserate if I could.

Maybe because it is such good shape compared to your vagina.  Sorry.

I wish : (

Dwarfie.... Why are you buying into this?

?Bourbon and a profound misapplication of set theory?
If anyone's asshole were a more pleasant place to plant a tongue than any vagina, I'd have to say that asshole would have to be extraordinary.

exdwarf wrote:

I just came in my pants.  Again.

No wait, that's poop.  Whatever.

Please get that straight BEFORE we have our get-together.

sofaking wrote:

Link to YouTube page

Hank Azaria must be hurting for work.