Taint wrote:

Two students at Southern Illinois University in this St. Louis suburb kidnapped, paddled and burned a young man with freshly baked cookies after a drug deal went bad, prosecutors said.

Ahhahahaha!

Now see, that's how you write an opening line for a story.  It immediately grabs your attention and pulls you right in.  I was envisioning something like Resevoir Dogs...but with trays of cookies.