#1 2009-01-02 04:00:36

OK, fuckers. Despite your evident lack of interest, I'm pushing this topic anyway. Between now and Jan. 15, give or take, begin posting links to your favorite of the worst attempts at journalism in 2008. All stories that ran between Jan. 1 and Dec. 31, 2008, are eligible. Whether they were featured on High Street or not, listing the story here with a link makes it an official nomination.

The categories are as follows:

1. Most Egregious Example of Irresponsible Journalism
2. The Greatest Assault on the English Language
3. Best Exploitation
4. Most Pointless Story
5. Most Absurd Video Coverage
6. Shittiest News Organization,
and

7. Lifetime Lack of Achievement Award
(Here, you're encouraged to consider a news organization or reporter's whole body of work from last year and the years before.)

Get off your asses and start the nominations.

Last edited by choad (2009-01-03 12:11:42)

Offline

 

#2 2009-01-02 19:14:48

As much as I bitch about our having too many "stickies" on occasion, I fully endorse this endeavor.  I can't imagine that any-body will find more of an assault on the senses than JLP's submission of a few days a-go:  Looking for a gang member wanted by police for felony obstruction was a material witness in a murder trial..  What in the fuck is that even supposed to mean?

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Offline

 

#3 2009-01-03 13:36:28

Owwee is not among the words I'd shoot someone for uttering - dollup and smidgeon and food writers in general are all prime contenders - but owwee will have to answer. My left hand is splitted to my wrist. Typing is slow. Second keyboard this week objects to popsicle stick stabbing and dishwater grease.

The market crash spot lighted a news gathering death spiral it took most folks 30 years to notice. Good fucking riddance, assuming there's something viable to replace it.

Can we look at something that works, instead? Speaking as someone who wrote his first 'advertorial supplement' in 1984, I'm tired of the crap.

Offline

 

#4 2009-01-03 13:45:07

Dollop and smidgen. That was bothering me. Sorry. And I had to get to it before Taint.

Offline

 

#5 2009-01-03 13:52:11

choad wrote:

My left hand is splitted to my wrist.

I got you some oxycontins; But, I snorted them.

Okay, so, it's definitely a lot cuter when the cat says it; But, hey, it's the thought that counts.

Offline

 

#6 2009-01-04 19:13:45

Is your left hand "splitted" or "splinted"?

Offline

 

#7 2009-01-04 19:44:36

Nancy Grace gets my nod for worst reporter. I'm not going to take the trouble to look up a highlight reel, but her coverage of the Caylee Anthony disappearance/murder was endless and mind-numbing.

Offline

 

#8 2009-01-04 20:50:06

sigmoid freud wrote:

Is your left hand "splitted" or "splinted"?

Yeah, sorry, splinted. I'm one cranky camper.

Offline

 

#9 2009-01-08 10:14:52

blah blah blah, who cares.

Offline

 

#10 2009-01-08 12:51:55

Roger_That wrote:

blah blah blah, who cares.

http://images.quickblogcast.com/61694-54138/Thread_Killer_Cap____funny,_geek.jpg

Offline

 

#11 2009-01-09 00:11:23

That's right Scotty, and don't you forget it.

Offline

 

#12 2009-01-09 02:52:27

Roger_That wrote:

That's right Scotty, and don't you forget it.

Rest assured it was less a mock than it was a thank you for the service you provide.

Offline

 

#13 2009-01-12 17:07:23

Don't just kill it.  Send it in a different, even more useless direction.

Offline

 

#14 2009-01-14 23:10:19

I nominate orangeplus' Arkansas Wedding for Greatest Assault on the English Language.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Offline

 

#15 2009-01-15 02:55:57

square wrote:

I nominate orangeplus' Arkansas Wedding for Greatest Assault on the English Language.

Wow.  I wonder how much it would cost to get James Earl Jones to narrate that?

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Offline

 

#17 2009-04-02 17:57:35

PROTEST SCARE: Dem Staff Seeks 'Refuge' From Tea Bag...

Nothing about the article or anything, just loved the headline Drudge posted the link under.

Offline

 

#18 2009-04-16 05:38:51

I have got to nominate this little rape of the English language which Orangina posted.

Anchorman wrote:

Timur explained that him and his younger brother had gotten in an argument with their older brother Raffis. They had blamed Raffis for his time in prison after Raffis reported him to the police for his first crime. The argument had led to the murder of Raffis.

"Him . . .  Had gotten in an argument . . .?"  Seriously, did he not proof-read this prior to posting.

Anchorman wrote:

They then proceeded to eat the remain for the following six months.

Okay; So, that's obviously a "no" on the proof-reading query then?

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Offline

 

#20 2009-05-28 19:02:16

headkicker_girl wrote:

"she stayed there life less."

I found this tag at the bottom to be, well, unnecessary.  Copyright 2009 KFOR-TV-DT. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

They should at least allow it to be rewritten.

Offline

 

#21 2009-05-28 20:14:33

phreddy wrote:

headkicker_girl wrote:

"she stayed there life less."

I found this tag at the bottom to be, well, unnecessary.  Copyright 2009 KFOR-TV-DT. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

They should at least allow it to be rewritten.

Ha!  But that would render the story life less.

Offline

 

#22 2009-05-28 21:38:47

After a seven hour standoff with law enforcement, officers would forced their way inside, but some how Vaught slipped out the back door and into some nearby woods.

That Dukes of Hazard moment redeemed the entire article.

Offline

 

#23 2009-05-28 23:03:12

headkicker_girl wrote:

"she stayed their life less."

FTFY.

Offline

 

#24 2009-05-29 12:09:16

square wrote:

headkicker_girl wrote:

"she stayed their life less."

FTFY.

See, the writing was so bad my brain automatically started correcting it.  That's HS award worthy for sure.

Offline

 

#25 2009-05-29 14:24:02

Speaking of dubious reporting distinctions, wait for it, boys & girls.

Wareham's story finally has legs.

Offline

 

#26 2009-05-29 14:50:40

choad wrote:

Wareham's story finally has legs.

Prithee, where should I have my eye so I can see it pop up?

Offline

 

#27 2009-05-29 16:28:32

George Orr wrote:

choad wrote:

Wareham's story finally has legs.

Prithee, where should I have my eye so I can see it pop up?

Planetary ridicule. You can't miss it. Hang on.

Offline

 

#28 2009-05-30 07:14:47

This holds much potential: Thank you, read again!

Offline

 

#29 2009-06-01 01:35:05

CNN's iReport fixes all:

Kids doesn´t deserve to pay for this recession

I wish my uneducated ass could write that poorly.

Offline

 

#30 2009-06-01 05:57:44

There's more on the way but after tying off some loose ends, I'm done. Been like the rubber glove part of a physical exam. From the New Bedford Standard-Times:

Wareham, MA: Last Violated Rights

Wareham library says computer sweep is retaliation

Offline

 

#31 2009-06-01 08:39:00

Emmeran wrote:

CNN's iReport fixes all:

Kids doesn´t deserve to pay for this recession

I wish my uneducated ass could write that poorly.

That was painful.

Offline

 

#32 2009-06-01 09:33:48

Did they learn nothing from Sarah Palin's example?  You just don't fuck with librarians.

Offline

 

#33 2009-06-01 18:22:01

South Coast Today wrote:

. . . where Chief Thomas Joyce was just coming off a one-week suspension issued by Sanguinet for an undisclosed reason.

Care to fill us in on the details on that little move, Mate?

Offline

 

#34 2009-06-01 18:38:41

Decadence wrote:

South Coast Today wrote:

. . . where Chief Thomas Joyce was just coming off a one-week suspension issued by Sanguinet for an undisclosed reason.

Care to fill us in on the details on that little move, Mate?

A reporting error. Tom Joyce was suspended for insubordination; objecting to the firing of one of his detectives for no credible reason. The chief will grieve it and get a week's paid vacation. They wanted him out of the way while they conducted their purge. That didn't work, either.

New London, CT made headline news ten years ago when the courts upheld the city's right to disqualify police applicants who scored too high on their entrance exams. Wareham's PD takes opposite approach. They do an awful lot with next to no resources. Here it is, stem to stern.

http://buzzardsbay.net/WarehamPD/

Offline

 

#37 2009-07-03 16:07:25

Goddamn, I don't like thinking about how old Lady Helen is.  I am going to miss her so much when she's gone.  Who else can make the WH mouthpieces squirm and giggle miserably like schoolboys caught out at something nasty? Listen to that man's laugh.

Offline

 

Board footer

cruelery.com