#1 2009-09-07 20:25:28
Last edited by sigmoid freud (2009-09-07 20:25:57)
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#2 2009-09-07 20:41:16
Ah... motivation!
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#3 2009-09-07 21:25:40
For most women, passionate desire languishes in the lower reaches of the list, somewhere below 'to get presents from him,' 'to shut him up' and even 'for fun'.
even? EVEN!?!?! If you put "fun" as some afterthought or something to be looked down on, you're a moralizing prig and you can lick my asshole. Yeah, lick it, stick your tongue in there, now massage my taint with your thumb, yeah.
But seriously, who here hasn't stuck their cock in someone's mouth just to get them to shut up?
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#4 2009-09-07 21:41:23
Uh...no.
This article is horrifying.
I don't get presents for having sex.
I get presents for being freaky while having sex.
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#5 2009-09-07 21:42:17
sofaking wrote:
Uh...no.
This article is horrifying.
I don't get presents for having sex.
I get presents for being freaky while having sex.
And that's why we loves ya.
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#6 2009-09-07 21:45:29
to get rid of a headache
Another perfectly valid reason.
long-term, a woman's sex drive is rarely equal to a man's.
This article is full of shit. Who wrote this crap and why?
Women who lose interest in sex do so because their partner doesn't make sex worthwhile for them.
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#7 2009-09-07 21:54:02
Do you include lesbian bed-death in that statement?
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#8 2009-09-07 21:59:50
George Orr wrote:
Women who lose interest in sex do so because their partner doesn't make sex worthwhile for them.
Or they have a chronic medical condition. Don't generalize, G.O. I expect it from the boys, but we're smarter than that, aren't we?
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#9 2009-09-07 22:57:25
I was always surprised by the numbers of pre-orgasmic women I met, some into their early 30's. A little communication helps everyone out. Always happy to help out back then.
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#10 2009-09-07 22:57:51
Or they have a chronic medical condition.
People of either sex with "medical conditions" are obviously exempt from my generalization.
Don't generalize, G.O. I expect it from the boys, but we're smarter than that, aren't we?
I have lived through a bad marriage and am currently enjoying a good one, and I stand by my generalization.
Do you include lesbian bed-death in that statement?
I don't know enough about lesbians to answer, but I suspect that my generalization applies to them as well. Sex is good = you want it. Sex is not good/has gotten stale/was never that great in the first place = you avoid it.
I repeat: I had a bad marriage and I now have a good one. I know both sides of the story. We are middle-aged now and together 16+ years, and while we no longer have the interest or the stamina of crack-addled minks like we used to, good Lord do we have a good time.
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#11 2009-09-07 23:57:03
You know, I saw that article and initially was like WTF? If anything, at 42, the cruel joke is that it's men in my age category who are too tired, too stressed, too boozed up and cigar-ed out to fuck their partners the way they deserve, while us women are out of our minds with fuckitudinous fabulosity. Seriously. It's a rare middle aged man who can go twice in a few hours time, and if they check their work emails in between, forget it.
That said, my kid goes to a private school and I know more than a few women who basically prostituted themselves to get a nice house, a life taking care of their kids without having to work, and regular spa treatments by marrying some insensitive jackass with back hair they never cared for in the first place but kind of resigned themselves to so as to cash in. Those women are generally miserable, and I don't think you have good sex when you're miserable. Those are the women who answer these polls.
On the other hand, I'm miserable, broke and single, but hey, my hand is quite attentive to my needs, always smells nice and it doesn't snore either....
Last edited by icangetyouatoe (2009-09-08 00:02:32)
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#12 2009-09-08 00:28:28
George Orr wrote:
Women who lose interest in sex do so because their partner doesn't make sex worthwhile for them.
Wait. So it’s the man’s responsibility to make sex worthwhile? That doesn’t seem fair.
Dmtdust wrote:
I was always surprised by the numbers of pre-orgasmic women I met, some into their early 30's.
Amen brother. I’ve met 3 over-achieving women in their mid 20s that were still virgins. One had no idea how to kiss, and was afraid of my finger.
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#13 2009-09-08 08:22:04
icangetyouatoe wrote:
That said, my kid goes to a private school and I know more than a few women who basically prostituted themselves to get a nice house, a life taking care of their kids without having to work, and regular spa treatments by marrying some insensitive jackass with back hair they never cared for in the first place but kind of resigned themselves to so as to cash in
....
Hey, I didn't know you and my wife were friends, Toesy. How long have you known each other?
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#14 2009-09-08 18:34:26
phoQ wrote:
Wait. So it’s the man’s responsibility to make sex worthwhile? That doesn’t seem fair.
Well I worded it that way because the article's all about women and how they're all frigid and they don't ever really want sex and only put out when they want a diamond bracelet or the trash taken out or something. Oh, and men are all sex-crazed dogs 100% of the time and will hump furniture when you're not looking and drive down the highway with their heads stuck out the car window. You see that all the time.
It's like sex ed circa 1955.
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#15 2009-09-08 18:50:57
George Orr wrote:
Oh, and men are all sex-crazed dogs 100% of the time and will hump furniture when you're not looking and drive down the highway with their heads stuck out the car window. You see that all the time.
I'm currently treating my immaculately shaved cockandballs with hydrocortizone and aloe because, last week, I jacked myself until I chafed and bled.
...some stereotypes exist for a reason.
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#16 2009-09-08 19:08:29
jesusluvspegging wrote:
hydrocortizone
Reducing the swelling isn't what you want to accomplish.
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#17 2009-09-08 19:58:46
Scotty wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
hydrocortizone
Reducing the swelling isn't what you want to accomplish.
Sorry, I don't take medical advice from massage therapists.
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#18 2009-09-08 20:14:31
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I'm currently treating my immaculately shaved cockandballs with hydrocortizone and aloe because, last week, I jacked myself until I chafed and bled.
Jesus! When was the last time you were with a woman? It’s real easy to find people to do that to you for free nowadays, especially if your libido is as good as you say it is.
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#19 2009-09-08 20:17:45
phoQ wrote:
Jesus! When was the last time you were with a woman? It’s real easy to find people to do that to you for free nowadays, especially if your libido is as good as you say it is.
Um, 2k7? 2k6 maybe? Shit, I dunno.
The body is willing, but the mind doesn't want to put up with all the requisite bullshit and games.
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#20 2009-09-08 20:29:31
jesusluvspegging wrote:
The body is willing, but the mind doesn't want to put up with all the requisite bullshit and games.
Oh, nonsense. All you gotta do is take the trash out every once in a while.
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#21 2009-09-08 20:37:39
jesusluvspegging wrote:
The body is willing, but the mind doesn't want to put up with all the requisite bullshit and games.
Good Lord! You don’t have to. Online dating eliminates a lot of that stuff. I’m an ugly, old loser with no money and a bad personality and even I meet women online. It should be easy for hell of an engineer.
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#22 2009-09-08 20:39:10
George Orr wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
The body is willing, but the mind doesn't want to put up with all the requisite bullshit and games.
Oh, nonsense. All you gotta do is take the trash out every once in a while.
No, that's only after the "relationship" is established. Actually getting into the pants of any female worth having a conversation with requires performing the postmodern equivalent of the 12 Herculean acts.
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#23 2009-09-08 20:41:25
phoQ wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
The body is willing, but the mind doesn't want to put up with all the requisite bullshit and games.
Good Lord! You don’t have to.
I don't think you understand: I really would rather just jack off.
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#24 2009-09-08 20:59:59
jesusluvspegging wrote:
Actually getting into the pants of any female worth having a conversation with requires performing the postmodern equivalent of the 12 Herculean acts.
A conversation? What do you want, a girlfriend? If you’re >30, all the good ones are taken or have gone sour. You’ve got to lower your standards AND muck out some nasty stables.
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I don't think you understand: I really would rather just jack off.
Apes need to be touched by other apes. Please at least get a massage or something.
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#25 2009-09-08 21:18:50
I have learned more about JLP in this one topic than in all the time he has been here. One learns who has to shave their hands as well...
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#26 2009-09-08 23:30:23
Now I have a small question. I can totally dig preferring onanism to actually attempting physical congress with others of the species. I'm not quite that bad, but then again I live in the Mission of SF, so getting laid is as difficult as walking out the door, and if you call them back they think you're a god (thank you 25% males of SF who are gay!)
My question is: Why shave your junk? I've done it at the request of sigother who didn't appreciate coughing up hairballs, but I can't imagine why you would do so without wanting to share it?
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#27 2009-09-09 00:00:09
orangeplus wrote:
My question is: Why shave your junk?
Probably the whole hairy palms thing. Personally I find it less painful to just shave my palms.
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#28 2009-09-09 00:03:35
Jesus, seriously. I would totally write up a killer ad for you for craigslist "men seeking women". We'll just mention a few key phrases like "let's keep this non sexual" and "looking for a friend" and the kitty patrol will be all over you like you're human Midol. In fact, we could make you a deaf mute wanting to "take things slow". That would definitely get you laid- probably a threesome - plus you'd be off the hook as far as ever having to call them again.
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#29 2009-09-09 00:24:24
Edit: ensmallened image - square
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
Last edited by square (2009-09-09 03:22:32)
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#30 2009-09-09 00:27:52
orangeplus wrote:
Now I have a small question. I can totally dig preferring onanism to actually attempting physical congress with others of the species. I'm not quite that bad, but then again I live in the Mission of SF, so getting laid is as difficult as walking out the door, and if you call them back they think you're a god (thank you 25% males of SF who are gay!)
Just doing my part, but I'm surprised at how often women flirt with me. Maybe you should call them back more often?
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#31 2009-09-09 00:37:50
Taint wrote:
Maybe you should call them back more often?
nah - cuz then they wanna have conversations and shit.
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#32 2009-09-09 00:49:28
Emmeran wrote:
Taint wrote:
Maybe you should call them back more often?
nah - cuz then they wanna have conversations and shit.
See, that's where gay guys have it made. Most of us understand that sex is usually about sex. Occasionally, there may be other things going on, but why ruin good sex with communication about anything other than sex?
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#33 2009-09-09 01:30:39
I'm never having sex again. This is too depressing, the vagina as take out Chinese...
Last edited by icangetyouatoe (2009-09-09 02:19:36)
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#34 2009-09-09 01:49:36
And Taint, it's fun to flirt with you! It's like going into a store without my wallet- I can try on whatever I want, but know ahead of time I can't buy anything.
Last edited by icangetyouatoe (2009-09-09 02:09:25)
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#35 2009-09-09 02:47:02
Toe, I would never treat your vagina as take-out Chinese. I like Chinese food too much.
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#36 2009-09-09 03:13:52
Keep your chin up Toe... you never know what will happen. Keep one foot in the water, and you know the rest of the rant....
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#37 2009-09-09 08:06:09
orangeplus wrote:
My question is: Why shave your junk? I've done it at the request of sigother who didn't appreciate coughing up hairballs, but I can't imagine why you would do so without wanting to share it?
Because I'm enamored with the silky smooth feel of My testicles.
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#38 2009-09-09 08:57:30
And somehow a banner now has to get made from this:
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#39 2009-09-09 11:57:29
orangeplus wrote:
... I live in the Mission of SF, so getting laid is as difficult as walking out the door, and if you call them back they think you're a god (thank you 25% males of SF who are gay!)
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#40 2009-09-09 13:20:19
I live in Atlanta where all the single ladies are either Christian, idiots, or both.
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#41 2009-09-09 13:46:01
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I live in Atlanta where all the single ladies are either Christian, idiots, or both.
Plenty of Christian women will peg you. Trust me on that. Need me to introduce you to some of my friends?
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#42 2009-09-09 14:11:39
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I live in Atlanta where all the single ladies are either Christian, idiots, or both.
I find it fascinating that you want nothing to do with your own followers, Jesus.
Is it because they're all psycho and desperate?
I mean, you could certainly do worse than a woman who believes in You.
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#43 2009-09-09 14:17:04
sofaking wrote:
jesusluvspegging wrote:
I live in Atlanta where all the single ladies are either Christian, idiots, or both.
I find it fascinating that you want nothing to do with your own followers, Jesus.
Is it because they're all psycho and desperate?
I mean, you could certainly do worse than a woman who believes in You.
Lends a whole new layer of meaning to the joke: "Lord, save me from your followers."
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#44 2009-09-09 15:14:24
I live in California where the old hags at the gym are near better shape than I am and for some reason there is an endless amount of 16 year old girls running around? How the fuck do I compete with that? Well lucky for me I am short and small and basically look 16 but either way, letting the BF fuck my ass def helps with this sort of competition.
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#45 2009-09-09 15:22:03
kim wrote:
I live in California where the old hags at the gym are near better shape than I am and for some reason there is an endless amount of 16 year old girls running around? How the fuck do I compete with that?
Superior blowjob skill.
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#46 2009-09-09 15:25:44
I has it
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#47 2009-09-09 15:38:25
Blessed art thou among women.
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#48 2009-09-09 15:41:01
Come on Jesus: I give superior blow jobs and love anal. When do you want to meet?
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#49 2009-09-09 15:49:28
kim wrote:
letting the BF fuck my ass def helps with this sort of competition.
All the 16 year olds do too.
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#50 2009-09-09 16:54:15
Heh. Your mom.
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