#102 2009-09-20 20:28:28

Thank you, Whos, this will do nicely.  And I will gladly accept any suggestions for ways to offend my supervisor.  At this moment, having sobered up slightly, I am uncertain whether I want to become a focal point of office lore.  On the other hand, I'm not sure I care.

And I do like the yentl with the stylish payot.

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#103 2009-09-20 21:06:45

Cranky wrote:

And I will gladly accept any suggestions for ways to offend my supervisor.

If you work for a large enough organization, they will use those inter-office mail envelopes--the ones that have multiple lines, where you scratch out the name of the previous recipient and write in the name of whoever you're sending mail to.  Get hold of some "fresh" envelopes, brand-new ones with no names written on them, and go to town.  Send him/her pornography; flyers for unsavory local happenings or political events you know will enrage him/her; wacko religious pamphlets; photocopies of your junk; whatever floats your boat.  If you are careful about the way you address them s/he will be unable to figure out who they're coming from.

If s/he is the type who decorates his/her cube space or desk, replace the tchotchke with other tchotchke...not offensive stuff, or threatening, just different.  This has a deeply creepy effect.

Don't get caught.  There's a recession out there.

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#104 2009-09-21 08:21:01

George Orr, your suggestion is perfect.  She invited her friends to view a video of her giving birth to her first child.  A friend went and told me she needs to cut the rug.  My first delivery may include a small bottle of Quell and a copy of Who's photo.

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#105 2009-09-21 08:44:28

I always enjoyed a version of George's prank where you ordered all kinds of magazines, products, even special deliveries in your "friends" name at the company and had them delivered during business hours. The mail room / receptionists always gossip with everyone and there is no way it will stay undercover when the KKK Kalendar, issues of Juggs, etc. start getting delivered.

I do like subtlety redecorating the cubicle though. Bonus points if you can alter items just enough to be funny without being noticed by the target.

Bonus points for scanning the family photos and photoshopping them into NSFW images, then leave them in the office printer. Just be aware of printer job tracking on the server, don't actually print them there, drop them off for someone else to find.

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#106 2009-09-21 11:25:08

Also be aware of office cameras.  Our office, being secure, has tons of them.  Most businesses keep the tapes for about a month or so then they re-use them.

That being said... let the fun continue...

Another truly insidious way to screw them up is to implicate them in an office romance.  Steamy, lurid and very descriptive mail messages printed on office printers and left for others to see 'accidentally' when they pick up their own print-outs is always good clean fun for the whole family... and word gets around fast, particularly if it's a same-sex match and/or includes sex toys.... but you'll really get some serious playtime if it involves animals, midgets, or worse yet, a Republican.  However, Goob's caveat applies... drop off the printouts, don't print them yourself at that printer... the print server often has a log and that will catch you out for certain.   Choose busy printers... print something legitimate to the printer and when you come to pick it up have some other papers with you... pick up the pile of stuff that's there, slip in your fun-o-gram, and then take away your legitimate print out and your other stuff... virtually impossible, even on a good camera, to catch you as the certain culprit.

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#107 2009-09-21 14:11:16

kim

I am just a little late on this post but:

I would never wax, unless I had some at home waxing kit. This person that I used to work with decided to fill me in about how she has herpes (good thing my attempts to hook her up with a guy friend of mine never panned out). Later she explains how she gets her shit waxed. Ok. Gross. Is the lady waxing around the sores or what?

Now, for the other women on her who get their their nails/toes done I am sure it has crossed your mind if that toe nail clipper or the tub of water your feet are chilling in has been cleaned after the previous customer and you realize ... probably not.

And I think it was posted here about New Jersey, or which ever state it was, wanting to ban waxing due to problems and unsanitary conditions of the procedure so my point is  - fuck no am I going to get anything waxed at a place that just waxed some with the herp.

I just shave, and I never have a problem with itchy bumps or ingrown hairs. The key is to wait at least 8 minutes while being in the shower for your pores to open up, lather up, and use a razor that is less than a week old, especially if you use it on other parts of  your body. And don't get the herp.

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#108 2009-09-21 16:57:23

kim wrote:

I am just a little late on this post but:

I would never wax, unless I had some at home waxing kit. This person that I used to work with decided to fill me in about how she has herpes (good thing my attempts to hook her up with a guy friend of mine never panned out). Later she explains how she gets her shit waxed. Ok. Gross. Is the lady waxing around the sores or what?

Now, for the other women on her who get their their nails/toes done I am sure it has crossed your mind if that toe nail clipper or the tub of water your feet are chilling in has been cleaned after the previous customer and you realize ... probably not.

And I think it was posted here about New Jersey, or which ever state it was, wanting to ban waxing due to problems and unsanitary conditions of the procedure so my point is  - fuck no am I going to get anything waxed at a place that just waxed some with the herp.

I just shave, and I never have a problem with itchy bumps or ingrown hairs. The key is to wait at least 8 minutes while being in the shower for your pores to open up, lather up, and use a razor that is less than a week old, especially if you use it on other parts of  your body. And don't get the herp.

Pics?  Video?

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#109 2009-09-21 22:27:46

Kim, I work in Big Pharma and trust me, there are several very effective drugs to control 'the herp'.  So much so that you'd probably never know if someone you were with had it, and their chance for contagion can be greatly reduced, too.  So, FYI, don't expect to see sores - you likely won't - and always ask straight out, trusting your instincts as to their honesty.  (Oh, and there's no truly effective test for it, either, unless you've got an active breakout.)

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#110 2009-09-22 08:40:23

Why does everyone treat the pubic shave question as an all-or-nothing proposition? I like to trim and shorten down there, but I am only shaving down to skin on the frank and beans. Around that area, I just cut to 1/2" and leave the rest be.

There is nothing like the gentle breeze caressing the freshly shaved pendulums.

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#111 2009-09-23 05:08:36

GooberMcNutly wrote:

Why does everyone treat the pubic shave question as an all-or-nothing proposition? I like to trim and shorten down there, but I am only shaving down to skin on the frank and beans. Around that area, I just cut to 1/2" and leave the rest be.

There is nothing like the gentle breeze caressing the freshly shaved pendulums.

Sounds like a Bob Seger song. In fact, his whole song catalog might just be about shaving his balls.

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#112 2009-09-23 08:22:34

icangetyouatoe wrote:

Sounds like a Bob Seger song. In fact, his whole song catalog might just be about shaving his balls.

I'm fairly certain Bob Seger wasn't shaving anything.

http://riff-o-matic.com/riff-a-day/main_street/p_00_sit.jpg

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