#1 2009-10-08 09:41:31

Yeah, so I'm back to blogging about bad dating experiences.  I guess a girl's gotta do something while she waits for her house to sell.

I know how much you all love this stuff.  And since I'm not exactly trying to pimp my blog anywhere (it's mostly for my friends so I can stop repeating myself) - I figured I'd share again, with you all, my e-whackjob friends.

http://onlinedatingweirdos.blogspot.com

Miss you homos, enjoy.

RT

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#2 2009-10-08 10:03:33

"Also, I used spell checker for you this time. That means I think you're special."

Arrgh.  Iced tea went through my nose on that one.



Umm...




Pleaze cum lick it off?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7hL7yyNxbjg/SiZ144Of6AI/AAAAAAAAADI/vehlyTG_JaM/s320/man.jpg
(BTW, I'm keeping this one as an avatar... it's just too good.)

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-10-08 10:16:59)

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#3 2009-10-08 10:24:48

Dirckman says hi!

His independently wealthy and legendary penis speaks for itself; "U R hot!" over and over. LOL.

What kinda luck have you had?

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#4 2009-10-08 10:40:20

Lovin' it.

I want to suggest you NEVER EVER meet these people.

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#5 2009-10-08 11:14:08

I haven't met any of them Sofie.  Except the one that offered for me to 'cum over'.

Let me elaborate.: I have a male friend that paid for a 3 month subscription for me to eharmony - with the caveat that he gets to read/log in and see all of the people I am matched with.  He was curious about his 'male' competition - and thought it would be a fun social experiment.  I agreed to it with the stipulation that I would not be going out with ANY of them (nor exchanging personal info) unless there was something interesting about them.  It's been fun 'corresponding' with a bunch of dimwitted idiots that don't know how to talk with women, even online.

The "cum on over" boy was interesting, until we met.  After 20 minutes I excused myself saying I had a 44 mile bike ride at 7am (which I did, but on Sunday not Saturday).  He texted me repeatedly for 3 days after, which I ignored.  Then I got that email.  Sent through e-harmony, no less.

Next week on tap is:  2 dates with 2 doctors (verified they are who they say).  Both seem interesting.  I will keep the blog updated.  Who knows, I figure there has got to be one interesting normal guy out there and my goal is to find him.  IN the meantime, I amuse myself via my blog.  I should actually write some of the backstory to "Cum on over" guy.  I'm using the blog so that my friends can keep up to date without me having to mass-email or call everyone after each incident...

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#6 2009-10-08 11:49:59

Oh and I"ve posted 2 other ads I put up on CL.  They are mildly amusing, and yielded some interesting results...

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#7 2009-10-08 18:23:53

Hi RT, long time no anal innuendo.

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#8 2009-10-08 18:31:50

Ranger!!!  How's it goin, dude?

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#9 2009-10-08 18:39:49

Brilliantly.  I swore off reality and I couldn't be happier.  Et tu?

I do occasionally pine for your puckerstar, or at least the figment of my imagination that I think is your puckerstar.

I saw something about you going OCONUS somewhere?  Going to New Zealand by any chance?

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#10 2009-10-08 21:36:47

I'm going OCONUS to Prague as soon as my house sells.  I've decided it's time for a change.  I'm tired of the ObamaNation.  I'm defecting.

ooooooooo  the ooooo key on my keyboard is sticky ooooooooooooooo

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#11 2009-10-08 22:02:43

Roger_That wrote:

OCONUS
ooooooooo  the ooooo key on my keyboard is sticky ooooooooooooooo

So it would seem.

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#12 2009-10-08 22:35:56

Well hell,

The times they are a changing all around. There is always a much larger fishbowl to swim in. Good luck with cutting loose RT. Prague is quite the town.

PS. Send me an email or pm. There is something interesting coming to your town in early Novemeber.

Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2009-10-08 23:25:48)

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#13 2009-10-08 23:15:14

Roger_That wrote:

I haven't met any of them Sofie.  Except the one that offered for me to 'cum over'.

Let me elaborate.: I have a male friend that paid for a 3 month subscription for me to eharmony - with the caveat that he gets to read/log in and see all of the people I am matched with.  He was curious about his 'male' competition - and thought it would be a fun social experiment.  I agreed to it with the stipulation that I would not be going out with ANY of them (nor exchanging personal info) unless there was something interesting about them.  It's been fun 'corresponding' with a bunch of dimwitted idiots that don't know how to talk with women, even online.

The "cum on over" boy was interesting, until we met.  After 20 minutes I excused myself saying I had a 44 mile bike ride at 7am (which I did, but on Sunday not Saturday).  He texted me repeatedly for 3 days after, which I ignored.  Then I got that email.  Sent through e-harmony, no less.

Next week on tap is:  2 dates with 2 doctors (verified they are who they say).  Both seem interesting.  I will keep the blog updated.  Who knows, I figure there has got to be one interesting normal guy out there and my goal is to find him.  IN the meantime, I amuse myself via my blog.  I should actually write some of the backstory to "Cum on over" guy.  I'm using the blog so that my friends can keep up to date without me having to mass-email or call everyone after each incident...

Me RT!!!

I mean, I'm married and I like strippers but I'm normal.

I enjoy long walks on the beach, fucking while drunk and evenings out.

Waddaya say?

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#14 2009-10-09 08:09:21

Sorry Bigcat, my ad was for benefactors that only want to give me money for no good reason.  I'm not offering anything in return!!!

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#15 2009-10-09 08:16:57

Roger_That wrote:

Sorry Bigcat, my ad was for benefactors that only want to give me money for no good reason.  I'm not offering anything in return!!!

Do you work for the DNC?

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#16 2009-10-09 08:46:43

funny, Fled.  and hell no.

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#17 2009-10-09 09:00:22

Roger_That wrote:

Sorry Bigcat, my ad was for benefactors that only want to give me money for no good reason.  I'm not offering anything in return!!!

So it would be just like being married?

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#18 2009-10-09 09:03:43

Yep, basically.  Without the locked in and binding contract!

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#19 2009-10-09 09:34:38

Prague, eh?  From what I hear it is one of the freest places in the world right now.

I am still trying to convince my Limey wife to move back to her homeland.  Not because I think it's better there, but also for some change.  i am sick of being a slave to my car, and playing reindeer games with corporate rat race fuckwits whom I envision killing when I encounter them.

I also just turned 40 so maybe that's it.  I am also sick of the ObamaNation, the BushNation, etc.  Should really call it the puppetmaster's nation.

Fuck it, I'll just go sell t-shirts on the beach and continue stockpiling ammunition.....

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#20 2009-10-09 09:45:48

That is exactly why I'm moving, Ranger.  I'm almost 40...(a few years yet) but I think I'm having a mid life crisis.  I'm tired of the corporate rat race and the same old shit different day of life.   I'm tired of commuting everywhere, and not getting any culture.  I'm tired of nascar, bass fishing, and this blue collar town. 

I just need a change.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like my home is going to sell anytime soon, so I may have to go to plan B:  rent the house and stockpile money for awhile instead of living off the equity of the house.  Oh well, it will happen eventually.

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#21 2009-10-09 10:38:12

So i don't recall the last time I was on the board, but for a while I was living in Cobb county, home of the creationism stickers in science books.  In 2007, my fortunes took a turn for the better, and we moved across town.  We decided to overlap the ownership periods so we could do a couple things to the new place and take our time moving.  We put the old house on the market and literally that week was when the shit hit the fan for the housing market.  We ended up becoming landlords.

now if we want to move we have to sell 2 houses.  We just listed the 1st and have had minimal interest.  I don't want to be a landlord because the hassles are huge, but if we have to, we have to.

On the plus side, the rental market in the ATL metro is booming right now.  Guess all those weapons of mass consumption can't get a mortgage anymore. Hopefully it's the same in your neck of the woods.

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#22 2009-10-09 21:43:51

Yeah the landlord thing doesn't thrill me.  But at this point I think it might be worth it to keep my one solid financial investment...to be a place to come back to if I do decide to return.  And since selling it isn't happening anytime soon, renting might be a better option with BRAC.  I'll have to pay for a property mgmt company.  I won't deal with that on my own.

Btw all, I've added more entertaining blog entries.  There are some stellar ones!

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#23 2009-10-10 12:00:17

Roger_That wrote:

I haven't met any of them Sofie.

Please, tell me that you will be going out with safety-pin-nipple-piercing guy though.

Bigcat wrote:

I enjoy long walks on the beach, fucking while drunk and evenings out.

Who does not (Okay - Not so much the long walks and evenings out; But, . . .)

Roger_That wrote:

And since selling it isn't happening anytime soon, renting might be a better option . . .

Do not do it.  Most renters are scum (And, most Baltimorians are any-way "as a general rule").  You will likely lose more value in property damage than you gain in rent.

Battered Old Bird wrote:

God forbid any of you woman would actually respond. . .

Which par-ticular part of the wo-man is he ex-pecting to re-spond?

Last edited by Decadence (2009-10-10 12:22:55)

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#24 2009-10-11 12:47:04

battered old bird.  HA HA HA!

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#25 2009-10-11 12:49:25

Oh, and no I won't be meeting safety pin nipple piercing guy.  I never talked to him, just found that photo whilst browsing...

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#26 2009-10-12 06:17:29

I have to concur with Decadence and Ranger that the landlord game sucks ass.  If you must do it, find an old Christian widow.  They are the tenants least likely to cause you problems.  When the rent checks stop coming in, you simply chuck the body out the door and find another widow!

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#27 2009-10-12 07:55:17

In all my slumlord experience, the best renters I ever had were middle aged fags. Scrupulously neat, treat the yard with respect and don't have too much traffic in the house. If something breaks they usually have some dyke friend who knows how to fix it instead of calling me. The only places I used to advertise were Craigslist and  the Blade. But age was important. Under 30 and they hadn't quite grown out of the revolving door parties and over 60 and they didn't keep the house neat and orderly.

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#28 2009-10-12 11:47:25

GooberMcNutly wrote:

In all my slumlord experience, the best renters I ever had were middle aged fags. Scrupulously neat, treat the yard with respect and don't have too much traffic in the house. If something breaks they usually have some dyke friend who knows how to fix it instead of calling me. The only places I used to advertise were Craigslist and  the Blade. But age was important. Under 30 and they hadn't quite grown out of the revolving door parties and over 60 and they didn't keep the house neat and orderly.

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!!

These are the tenants I am about to lose after 2 years.  They were the shizzle, and if I have to keep being a landlord I would definitely go with the aging donut punchers any day.  The yard & garden damn sure look better after having them in there than when I was taking care of it.

That and they can score some REALLY good.....herbal supplements.

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#29 2009-10-12 11:55:06

kim

Just don't ever rent to Indian people. But you already knew that.

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#30 2009-10-12 12:26:35

kim wrote:

Just don't ever rent to Indian people. But you already knew that.

Unless you hate your neighbors.....

While I love Indian food, the smell is harder to get out of a house than cigarette smoke.

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#31 2009-10-12 12:28:13

kim

XregnaR wrote:

kim wrote:

Just don't ever rent to Indian people. But you already knew that.

Unless you hate your neighbors.....

While I love Indian food, the smell is harder to get out of a house than cigarette smoke.

No shit. I can't even turn on the heater because last months curry smell will fill my apartment.

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#32 2009-10-12 20:01:58

HEY WHILE I VALUE YOUR RENTAL ADVICE this thread is about my online dating blog!!

Stop sidetracking my blog whoring...!

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#33 2009-10-12 20:21:48

XregnaR wrote:

While I love Indian food, the smell is harder to get out of a house than cigarette smoke.

Your ankle biters can't still believe your 'weed incense' fairy tale. Noticed yet they always scheme for ice cream when daddy's baked?

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#34 2009-10-13 10:11:41

Roger_That wrote:

HEY WHILE I VALUE YOUR RENTAL ADVICE this thread is about my online dating blog!!

Stop sidetracking my blog whoring...!

Been meaning to speak to you of this

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7hL7yyNxbjg/Ss9ZX6oYP9I/AAAAAAAAAOA/6RPb6c9aSq8/s320/safety+pin.jpg

While the whole Minnie Pearl look is endearing, I want to know who ripped out the piercing on the other side? That's a nasty scar and I am sure it must have smarted.

Being raised a Jehovah’s Witness from infancy I have not got into the dating seen yet, but at 44 I need to get it going.

No, really, no need to hurry things along unnecessarily...

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#35 2009-10-13 10:46:19

I really thought the JW guy was kidding.  I didn't know he was serious until I wrote him back a second time.  I thought he just had a great sense of humor.

Well..uh...hmm.

Oh and the photo above - he has saggy manboobs.

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#36 2009-10-13 10:52:20

Wow, that went from, "at least he's really funny" to "fuckmeRUNNING" really fast.

Jehovah wouldn't approve of your blog.

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#37 2009-10-13 10:58:32

Ya know why Jehovah Witness Women's nipples are inverted?

POKE
POKE
POKE

Get off my porch!

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#38 2009-10-13 11:03:32

HAHA Jehovah can eat me.

I put up a new photo edition on the blog a few minutes ago.

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#39 2009-10-13 12:06:15

Roger_That wrote:

HAHA Jehovah can eat me.
.

This is another one of those quotes that should be enshrined somewhere here.

I'll bet it's a very rare occasion when they hear that one at Kingdom Hall.

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#40 2009-10-13 12:41:12

So tell me this oh wise denizens of cruel - 

Your online dating profile has a section where it says:

Has Children

Your choices are:

Yes / No / Prefer Not to Say.

So when they pick 'Prefer Not to Say' - that says to me, "Yes, I have children, and I really enjoy denying it in public forums in case that might scare you off from dating me".

WTF?  The level of stupidity is insane.  Not to mention the guy that contacted me with these stats:

Marital Status:  Not Single/Not Looking
Looking for:  Activity Partners
Smarts: N/A
Children:  Prefer Not to Say

GEE CAN SOMEONE SIGN ME UP FOR 2 PLEASE???

Last edited by Roger_That (2009-10-13 12:41:37)

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#41 2009-10-13 14:17:58

Roger_That wrote:

Sorry Bigcat, my ad was for benefactors that only want to give me money for no good reason.  I'm not offering anything in return!!!

You're on the wrong website, then.

http://www.sugardaddies.com/

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#42 2009-10-13 14:58:04

haha, thanks, I'll keep that in mind.  That might get added as a link on my blog.

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#43 2009-10-13 18:53:40

Roger_That wrote:

Sorry Bigcat, my ad was for benefactors that only want to give me money for no good reason.  I'm not offering anything in return!!!

I don't know anyone who would send you money for nothing, but there is this Japanese guy who could take your soiled panties off your hands.

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#44 2009-10-13 20:08:38

choad wrote:

XregnaR wrote:

While I love Indian food, the smell is harder to get out of a house than cigarette smoke.

Your ankle biters can't still believe your 'weed incense' fairy tale. Noticed yet they always scheme for ice cream when daddy's baked?

I only burn outside, and my kids know I smoke.  they just don't know what I smoke might cause the po-po to become agitated.

Alas, they haven't figured out it would be a good time to hit me up for munchies.....

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#45 2009-10-13 21:38:39

While this isn't going to be on my blog and really doesn't have much to do with it, I just figured I'd share it here:

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/cas/1419837329.html

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#46 2009-10-13 21:41:01

Roger_That wrote:

While this isn't going to be on my blog and really doesn't have much to do with it, I just figured I'd share it here:

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/cas/1419837329.html

That ass looks like it has Kaposi's sarcoma.

It's an AIDS ass.

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#47 2009-10-13 23:27:08

Roger_That wrote:

While this isn't going to be on my blog and really doesn't have much to do with it, I just figured I'd share it here:

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/cas/1419837329.html

I can't even tell if that's a man or a woman on the right and if it's a man or a turd on the left. Isn't life wonderful?

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#48 2009-10-14 08:34:01

I can't believe someone would post that and then think anyone would email them wanting NSA???  God.

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#49 2009-10-14 14:41:25

XregnaR wrote:

I only burn outside, and my kids know I smoke.  they just don't know what I smoke might cause the po-po to become agitated.

Your better half will hate us for this but...

**Up In No Smoke** by MSG Tripps

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by choad (2009-10-14 14:43:54)

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#50 2009-10-15 08:25:40

How is it that this post turned to pot smoking???  sheesh.  You all have such a short attention span!

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