#1 2010-01-13 15:11:05
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#2 2010-01-13 15:16:02
Life must be so much simpler when you see it in such black and white terms.
Orangie! I was thinking about you a few days ago and wondering if we'd ever see you again. Welcome back!
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#3 2010-01-13 15:32:59
God must have needed 500,000 Haitians.
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#4 2010-01-13 15:37:55
1) Isn't this Jesus-pimping fuckwad way, way past his expiration date? He's been elderly for as long as I can remember.
2) O+! I have missed you! Where the fuck you been? Stop by more often, dammit!
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#5 2010-01-13 16:06:31
I’m hearing a distinct wheeze in his voice! I’m not a doctor, but the sound causes me to have happy thoughts about such things as congestive heart failure or COPD. Perhaps soon he will be worm food like his good friend Jerry Foulwell!
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#6 2010-01-13 17:01:11
I'm sure the 700 club failed to mention that Haiti led the only successful slave revolt in history: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haitian_Revolution
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#7 2010-01-14 02:35:01
Wait, so in 1791 the Haitians made a pact where they pledged themselves to the devil for 200 years, and that expired when?
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#8 2010-01-14 09:47:32
But hasn't Perfect Pat been collecting "aid" money from parishioners for decades to feed and clothe those "poor children of Christ"? (Minus his standard 90% "administrative fee" of course...)
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#9 2010-01-16 16:35:22
Satan's reply.
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#11 2010-01-16 20:19:52
Satan's response back to Pat: http://www.startribune.com/opinion/lett … 95442.html
Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad.
Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
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