I like the part where he asks if he will lose his dignity while his weiner dog is licking snot from his nose.

Oh, no.  This isn't your pathetic attempt to become famous for 30 seconds by making your very own pathetic sniffly breakdown public, is it?

Before the rumors start flying, it's not me.  I only get that way whilst sitting around naked, tossing back glass after glass of scotch, and listening to The Cure.  Hmm, mayhaps I should dig out the old web-cam.  I'm thinking that there's a few bucks to be made here.