Peco, I'm sorry your life was messed up by something similar to this.  That said, my first question on seeing the delicious looking end product was, how many does it feed?!

peco wrote:

5 days on morphine / hydromorphone to get the pain down to "oh my fucking god it hurts".

Yeah . . .  When you are in serious pain, that shit is not really worth a fuck, is it?  I generally trade mine for meth, and just treat my pain with Colombia's finest.  I find it to be much more effective.

Well, there's always a silver lining, but that's a pretty dark cloud you have there, peco. Bacon is perhaps man's greatest invention, at least culinarialy speaking. What else can tempt so many vegetarians to ignore their own moral imperatives?

peco wrote:

On the flip side, I've lost 40 lb.

That must make life more interesting. From hazy memory, 6'2", 240lbs, and some don't recognize you now?

peco wrote:

That's pretty close to what I had for brunch on 4 Nov 2009.

I was in the hospital later that night and would stay there until 12 Nov.

Pancreatitis... probably lurking for a while but activated by the feed of bacon and sausage.  5 days on morphine / hydromorphone to get the pain down to "oh my fucking god it hurts".  3 of those days on an IV bag every 45 minutes.

A nurse from obstetrics complimented me on my ability to take the pain of a disease that is supposed to hurt more than child birth.  Think "getting run through the abdomen with a rusty sword that gets twisted while a boxer punches you in the kidneys" for days.  Go me.

But the real pain was after...

I can only eat 35 g of fat per day or I risk getting very sick. 
And I can't drink any alcohol or I absolutely will get sick.

By "sick" I mean sitting on the toilet shitting almost enough to get me to lift off like a rocket, while barfing into a bucket, all with a fever in the 100+ range, for a couple days.

In retrospect, I might have been better off with a heart attack.

I had pancreatitis and gastroenteritis at the same time.  (maybe they go hand in hand).  I was in the ER on morphine then in the hospital for a few days myself.  The only thing I can compare it to is when they cut the 12 inch vertical slit top to bottom on my abdomen to remove a 12 pound tumor.  That was worse than a c-section child birth.  Or so I hear, since I have no spawn.

choad wrote:

Roger_That wrote:

The only thing I can compare it to is when they cut the 12 inch vertical slit top to bottom on my abdomen to remove a 12 pound tumor.  That was worse than a c-section child birth.

It is if it looks like ptah. You donated to the Mütter Museum, right? Let's see, what's for lunch?

Haha, nice Choad.  Actually I did have a bunch of medical students ask to watch, as it was largely uncommon.  I wish I had been able to see it, but they sent it off to Pathology.

My favourite:

"Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom" - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I will say, though, that right up there on pain-generating inflictions is having an emergency room nurse inject pain-killer into that soft webbed area between your pinky and ring finger in preparation for having one's finger bits sewn back on.  It hurt far worse than the original injury, and it's not something I ever want repeated... it brought to mind the Vietnamese torture of having bamboo shafts jammed under one's fingernails.

choad wrote:

Then there are the injuries that should hurt worse than sweetmotheroffuckingjesus, and don't. Doberman bit through my nutsack, left one dangling and I barely felt it. Go ahead, top that. I'm tired of remembering.

I stubbed my toe once. Man, that hurt.

Taint wrote:

I stubbed my toe once. Man, that hurt.

Aye, fell off my bike once. Stubbed my toe, too, 40 years ago and five miles down the road, on an exposed radiator pipe. Toe warn't never the same since and that offending pipe, when I checked last week, is still there. Bad pipe. Bad, bad pipe.

Last edited by choad (2011-04-25 15:10:13)

I once watched a debate between Al Gore and George W. Bush. The Horror!

Emmeran wrote:

Denny's Maple Bacon Sundae

Pretty much a little bowl of death for me.  And for this guy too: TV chef Ken Kostick dies

Oh man, I got asked that question every day.  And my initial answers were like that cartoon, but I realized that the amount of drugs I was going to get were directly proportional to the number.

Fact is, I can imagine some pretty horrible pain.

peco wrote:

Oh man, I got asked that question every day.  And my initial answers were like that cartoon, but I realized that the amount of drugs I was going to get were directly proportional to the number.

Fact is, I can imagine some pretty horrible pain.

When I woke up from major surgery...they asked me the 1-10 question, and I said 15.  I was promptly knocked out and don't remember the next 6 hours.