Yeah, I'm still female (though these days I feel more like a "guy with a pie"), & thanks for complimenting my egg sacks!  I'd better start enjoying being a girl more - whatever happened to multiple orgasms and men who would buy you martinis without telling you that you have a drinking problem?  Why is sex with a live woman such a burdensome prospect for men once they start growing those bushes of hair in their ears? 

Lurker, how old are you and when was your last nocturnal emission?

I missed the Stacey's Mom thing - have to go see if anything is left of its posts.  I like your banners, 4 what that's worth - and either we're all becoming numb to the horror or it's been a few slow weeks for public  dumbfuckery, but in any case actual posting of links here seems to be down. Plus there's all that shit in real life...  Maybe we could have a project that would result in having more people to entertain us - we could go to various women's issues boards & try to recruit members for HS.  Hell, it would take a few of us several days to target prospects from ivillage.

Oh, I think that two lists could be compiled: a short list of people who might actually be fun to interact with long-term, and a looong list of people who might be particularly entertaining as they tear out the hairs around their own assholes in h-rage at most of the topics entertained here.  People from the latter list would be "invited" MAYBE two or three at a time and set up against each other.

Oh, but some of the runners are fine.  Weird as it seems, groups near land-grant universities have ... oh man, I might need to rub one out before I can finish that sentence.

feisty wrote:

I live near a military town.  I can get penis, but even the migratory penis (jarheads) seem to want serious relationships.  It's quite depressing.

Well that's why I brought up hashing.  It's pretty obvious within 2 minutes of meeting someone whether they are: a) in it for the running,  b) seen it all but in a relationship, c) wide open.  There are a lot of military people in it, but your average jar head does not stick around.  The only thing you are judged on is your sense of humor, so I don't think you'd have any problems making friends.

Okay, evangelizing now ends.

I grew up in Jacksonville.  I know all about jarheads.

Decadence wrote:

Dear MILF,

My friend Zoloft and I can't thank you enough for your kind words.  Rest assured that we will continue to do our jobs so that you don't have to do anything (At all - Not like you're really able to after a few of me anyway).  And, no, you did not spell my name correctly; However, keep in mind that spelling (Or, for that matter, any fucking thing) really doesn't matter if you've enough Clonazepam on hand.

By the way, I'm currently in the works for a co-endorsement with GlenLivet; So, if you've yet to spend a quiet evening with Glen and I, I'd suggest that you set a night aside for just such an occasion.  We really do compliment one another quite well.

Sincerely,
Clonazepam

Best.post.ever.

Feisty & Douche (and asdf) stop with this lesbian love in!

(unless I can be included, and chocolate pudding is in the mix).

DoucheEllington wrote:

Lurker, how old are you and when was your last nocturnal emission?

Why?  Are you one of those fucked up pervs that go after 'tweens?  Are you thirsting for some hot spunk? 

I've read a few of your posts, (and got bored)

DoucheEllington wrote:

I've worked too much with non-human primates and profoundly brain damaged & retarded humans....the stuff they do I just don't find that funny anymore.

you appear to be one of those academic failures that churn out all these fucked up kids that can't even speak proper english... because of that, I am thankful I don't have any kids.....

Lurker wrote:

DoucheEllington wrote:

Lurker, how old are you and when was your last nocturnal emission?

Why?  Are you one of those fucked up pervs that go after 'tweens?  Are you thirsting for some hot spunk?  ...
you appear to be one of those academic failures that churn out all these fucked up kids that can't even speak proper english... because of that, I am thankful I don't have any kids.....

OK, Lurky-loo, I was trying to include you in a conversation by directly asking you a question, if approached with any sense of humor, would set you up with an opportunity to respond with something funny or at least mildly amusing.  You almost succeeded, but had to follow it up with a completely wrong remark responding to something directed at someone else, thereby tipping your hand: you are the thalidomide baby of shit-stirrers.   

Here's a tip: if you want to insult rather than playfully bait someone, use material that may be perceived as relevant by the person you're attempting to insult.  In my case, you aren't even close.  From what you can gather here, a better tactic would have been to target my motivations rather than my achievements - you can make more solid assumptions about the former than the latter given the information available to you.  An example of such might be, re severely impaired, damaged, & non-neurotypical children & adults, "Why do you bother? We'll just keep making more."

Oh Douche,

Don't bother with Lurker.  He can't bring anything to the table ever.

I don't know one person on here who would disagree.

RT

DoucheEllington wrote:

whether I'm pissing blood or blacking out

That explains a lot....

Feeeel the luuuuuuuuuv.

Taint wrote:

Feeeel the luuuuuuuuuv.

Well, I was until you so rudely interrupted.

A little late for Thanksgiving, but Dirckman is thankful for bountiful Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch....  Is thankful for hordes of mentally unstable, sexually promiscuous girls in their early twenties.  Dirckman is also thankful that he lives in a country that allows lazy do nothings like himself to prosper with little more than a winning smile and his good looks....

feisty wrote:

You're the head honchina, the great bambina, the mistress of the word-gift.  You're always included in the lesbian love fests.  Specially since you're in a similar bitter boat as myself and Douche, and possibly asdf.  Except apparently you've got a hot boyfriend with a big penis.  And for that, I'm both jealous and sad for you.  Jealous for the penis part, sad about the whole relationship bullshit.

It's ok, Hot Penis(tm) and I have no plans to 1) live together 2) marry or 3) produce offspring.

So we just don't plan to fuck other people.  I am ok with loyalty at this point.  It's not so bad.

(waiting for the defacto Lurker predictable reply).

Last edited by Roger_That (2007-11-24 23:56:44)

And whose dick do I have to suck to get it back?  (or am I missing something?)

feisty wrote:

See, every hot penis(tm) I've met SAYS that, and I'm cool being a one-penis gal, and then they start getting possessive and checking up on me and shit.  I'm a commitaphobe from way back.  So even loyalty doesn't work for me.

by the way, Ms. admin, what the fuck happened to the edit function?

Well

1) I own the house, so living together is determined by me.  No way am I going to sell it and live in an apartment.

2) been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

3) impossible.

See? bases covered.

feisty wrote:

And whose dick do I have to suck to get it back?  (or am I missing something?)

If only my dick was a few hundred miles longer :(

Roger_That wrote:

It's hard to dumb down to LurkerLevel.

You're doing just fine.