She's Ugly

Lind-ception

The article says she was found unconscious. 

How could they tell?

I saw that headline this afternoon, and I must admit I had my fingers crossed, and was a bit let down when later reports revealed she was just "napping."

I have no excuses.  I just thought it'd be nice if she'd go ahead and die so the endless gossip-rag wittering would stop.

I'm down a few Belgians (beer, not women) and half a bottle of Viognier, and about to embark on the risotto (if there's still a little juice in the wine bottle)...so perhaps I'm particularly stupid tonight, but there's something that has longed perplexed me about my highly-esteemed friends at High-Street. Why do you people think about these people? I'm not trying to be an asshole...for once...I just really don't get it. Have you met this girl? Did she do you some harm? Is this what happens when you grow up with your lips clamped to the boob-tube? It seems to me that by noticing these people at all you are participating in their undeserved "celebrity." Why would you do that?

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Is this what happens when you grow up with your lips clamped to the boob-tube? It seems to me that by noticing these people at all you are participating in their undeserved "celebrity." Why would you do that?

The Europeans who occupied North America have always had a fascination and revulsion for noble personages of undeserved celebrity.

"The first newspaper in the British American colonies, Publick Occurrences, printed in Boston in 1690, was shut down after just one issue for reporting, among other things, that the king of France had cuckolded his own son."

Differences Of Opinion - New Yorker

Let's face it.  It's like driving past a horrible traffic accident.  We all look to see the blood on the steering wheel and windshield.

WCL has posed a question I really can't find an answer to in my own mind.  This surprises me. 

I don't pay attention to most gossip, or to Gossip Media (TMZ and such; I can't think of a better name).  But because it's so pervasive, some of it sort of leaks through and gets my attention.  Usually this annoys me.  Looking deeper, it seems to me that because these people and their "narratives" are presented to me for judgment (never mind by whom), I automatically evaluate them and pass my judgment without even considering why I'm doing it.

When I develop an interest in an entertainer, it is usually because I enjoy his/her work and I want to know more about the person.  Although I don't haunt gossip sites, I do spend a lot of time on sites that tell me about upcoming films, TV series, etc., and frankly, the gossip frequently overlaps the "entertainment news" and in some circumstances they can't be separated.

I know people--we all do, I'm sure--for whom Gossip Media is just another source of entertainment.  Many people seem to see it as a kind of soap opera.  I had a co-worker--dear Gawd what an idiot, a genuine mouth-breather--and I will never forget once hearing her say, "I'm worried about Brad [meaning Brad Pitt].  He's just been looking kinda run-down lately.  [This from looking at photos in magazines, most or all no doubt carefully posed and then even more carefully selected by editors.]  He should take better care of himself.  Angelina should take better care of him."  It was as if she was speaking of a neighbor or a family member, and I think that's at least a piece of the answer to Wilbur's question right there.  Sailor's comment above is another piece.  And my, oh my, don't discount delicious schadenfreude--they're pretty, they're wealthy, they have all this wonderful stuff that you'll never even get near to having, so when they have trouble in their lives a part of you, a small part or a big part, wants to hear alllll about it.

I do think that "fame" is the most unnatural phenomenon in human experience.  To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "People know stuff about you, but you don't know them from Adam."  Try to imagine being approached by a stranger you've never set eyes on before, and to know that she knows your name and, for example, has seen pictures of the house you grew up in; knows the name of your high school sweetheart; knows your mother's medical condition and tells you she hopes ma's feeling better these days; asks how your latest job is going and tells you she's glad you cut your hair because your former hairstyle was all wrong for you. 

Complete strangers think of you as someone they know--and, in a weird way, they do know you.  To me, this idea is completely horrifying.

We are social animals.  Maybe creating these ersatz social links to famous people comes from our instinctual need to connect.

I am running low on words but still confused about this.  WCL, today's headache is going to be your fault.  Also, fuck LiLo and her trashy behavior; that little skank needs to straighten out some and start showing up on time to her jobs!  And that tanning job looks just awful--what is she thinking?!

It's all very simple. We are all pissed that they live the easy life while teachers, nurses, morticians, etc. live pay check to pay check. It's extremely satisfying for the hard working  people of the world to see these guys crash and burn. TMZ understands this and makes a killing off of it. I've always wondered how Kobe Bryant can make millions playing monkeyball and raping women while a third grade teacher makes 30K.

Last edited by Banjo (2012-06-16 19:07:28)

Banjo wrote:

It's all very simple. We are all pissed that they live the easy life while teachers, nurses, morticians, etc. live pay check to pay check. It's extremely satisfying for the hard working  people of the world to see these guys crash and burn. TMZ understands this and makes a killing off of it. I've always wondered how Kobe Bryant can make millions playing monkeyball and raping women while a third grade teacher makes 30K.

All that might explain why coarse and stupid people pay attention to celebrities - but the question was directed towards the presumably higher-percentile habituées of High-Street.

Must we always break the rules?

Banjo wrote:

It's all very simple. We are all pissed that they live the easy life while teachers, nurses, morticians, etc. live pay check to pay check. It's extremely satisfying for the hard working  people of the world to see these guys crash and burn.

In this little town, I know teamsters, electricians, brick layers, stone masons, so-called carpenters, auto mechanics, thieving fucking plumbers, bakers, cooks, cops, perfectly useless school administrators, fire fighters, nurses, municipal maintenance and more. Wage slaves bitching in unison, they're over worked, under fucked, struggling, angry and most of all, scared they'll lose the rotten job and shit'll get worse.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Banjo wrote:

It's all very simple. We are all pissed that they live the easy life while teachers, nurses, morticians, etc. live pay check to pay check. It's extremely satisfying for the hard working  people of the world to see these guys crash and burn. TMZ understands this and makes a killing off of it. I've always wondered how Kobe Bryant can make millions playing monkeyball and raping women while a third grade teacher makes 30K.

All that might explain why coarse and stupid people pay attention to celebrities - but the question was directed towards the presumably higher-percentile habituées of High-Street.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/242 … o1_500.jpg
Must we always break the rules?

Sorry about the headache, George.

I know you are fishing your ass off Wilber, but it will take a lot more bait than you have to snag this catfish. Please move on to the more vulnerable High Streeters.

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Last edited by Banjo (2012-06-16 21:30:17)

Yeah, yeah, Biggie Small, that's the song I'll sing. We all gotta picks the white man's cotton.

I almost always misfire first time round. Second time, too.

Most of the people I mentioned are bright but were mediocre students who went to trade schools, if at all. Fifty years ago, they'd have ditched school and worked in factories. One still does, assembling what he refers to as 'left handed golf balls' for Titliest. We really don't make shit here anymore, though, and those jobs are gone.

They're sports fans but otherwise too busy goofing on each other to give a shit about brain dead celebrities. For the rich fuck surrounding communities, this is home of the bean and the cod, where the Lowells talk only to Cabots, and the Cabots talk only to God.

How's that?

Banjo wrote:

Seeing that you are a young little internet buck full of piss and vinegar

Don't choke on your teeth, grandpa.

Banjo wrote:

I was like you at one time, arguing and fucking with every one on this forum, and then I saw this:

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/415_retard.jpg

That's a wonderful e-piphany you had thar, Banjo. I applaud you for your honesty in the face of so much triteness. Too many stories of personal revelation go flat for want of profundity, but your moving narrative taps into a deep well of archetypal, if somewhat yellow-tinged, waters.

Banjo wrote:

Now I spend my days cracking myself up with my posts with out the slightest care of what the Wilber Cuntlickers of the world think.

Such is the general course of senility. I imagine you've become similiarly indifferent to your own body odour, or the fecal-mats that drape below the hem of your only pair of underwear. The more I get to know you, Banjo, the less savoury you appear. I bet you have some other disgusting habits - feces hoarding - semen hoarding - hoarded semen drinking - hoarded feces eating....come to think of it, I doubt there's anything outside the scope of your pollution.

Banjo wrote:

Much like masturbation, I do this to entertain myself and no one else. Feel free to peek into my window any time

Now you're inviting me to watch you masturbate? Bugger off, dude, that's not even humorous. Besides, you're a little too low-rent for me, even if I swung that way.

Banjo wrote:

but don't think that  you will ever destroy all of the granny porn and Larry the Cable Guy imagery that adorns my fucked up mind.

And there you go being bland again.

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choad wrote:

Yeah, yeah, Biggie Small, that's the song I'll sing. We all gotta picks the white man's cotton.

I almost always misfire first time round. Second time, too.

Most of the people I mentioned are bright but were mediocre students who went to trade schools, if at all. Fifty years ago, they'd have ditched school and worked in factories. One still does, assembling what he refers to as 'left handed golf balls' for Titliest. We really don't make shit here anymore, though, and those jobs are gone.

They're sports fans but otherwise too busy goofing on each other to give a shit about brain dead celebrities. For the rich fuck surrounding communities, this is home of the bean and the cod, where the Lowells talk only to Cabots, and the Cabots talk only to God.

How's that?

Nice

DupeOrNot wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I bet you have some other disgusting habits ...- semen hoarding.

Semen hoarding is disgusting? They've never complained when I've thawed it out for them.

They? Them? Your parents? Your children? The Senior Bonzes of the Loyal Order of Edentulous Cunts? To whom exactly do you feed your previously frozen semen? If you can't avoid the unclear antecedents, at least follow them up with a few disgusting details.

Naw. I'd rather fuck with you all night. Got nothing better to do. Did the whole pussy thing earlier so now it's vodka and Wilbur time. One of my favorite parts of the night. I have to admit, it was really way too easy to get you this worked up. Don't worry. Eventually you'll figure it out.

Word of the Lord,

Banjo

Last edited by Banjo (2012-06-17 03:53:24)

DupeOrNot wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

DupeOrNot wrote:

Semen hoarding is disgusting? They've never complained when I've thawed it out for them.

They? Them? Your parents? Your children? The Senior Bonzes of the Loyal Order of Edentulous Cunts? To whom exactly do you feed your previously frozen semen? If you can't avoid the unclear antecedents, at least follow them up with a few disgusting details.

I'm not sure how disgusting/interesting this is... a couple of "girlfriends" were into swallowing lots of cum. I quoted girlfriend since the relationships were pretty short-lived.

My impetus in saying so is that you seemed a bit of a prude. Please tell us what sot of behavior is acceptable and not "disgusting".
Are we allowed to give and receive anilingus without garnering your disapproval?

I'm hardly a prude. Disgusting is a wonderful category of sensory delights. And why would you ask me what you are allowed? I am a champion of freedom, you silly cunt.

Big words, half assed insults AND video games? Pardon my earlier attempts at entertaining you with simple banter. I'll try again with greater effort.

DupeOrNot wrote:

Men shitting on my face is disgusting and I doubt I will ever appreciate its delights.

You're a little confusing. At first you were attempting to paint me as a Puritan, based on what turned out to be a misunderstanding. Semantics happpens; one can be forgiven. But now you're using the same adjective (disgusting) to describe an act that I'd always assumed was second nature to you. Is this not the height of hypocrisy? Should you not {wipe/not wipe/both wipe and not wipe/neither wipe nor not wipe} that shit-eating grin off your face and come clean?

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

{wipe/not wipe/both wipe and not wipe/neither wipe nor not wipe}

Now THAT is fucking funny.

PoopOrSnot wrote:

...you're a boring thesaurus.

Well no wonder you're shitting your pants.

In fact, though, diction is about 15% of  the game at best. What you're too under-educated to understand is the role of syntax.

PoopOrSnot wrote:

I'm done receiving your flirtations; you have nothing to offer me.

That's not how this works, you little ort. (See image, above.)

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opsec wrote:

Gee, if only there were a way to monetize all this negative energy.  https://cruelery.com/uploads/21_facebook_logo_40x40.jpg

Thank you, Opsec, for helping to preserve the subjunctive mood. In fact, there is a way to monetize all this negative energy. It is ridiculous that this website does not have a paypal button for donations, and merchandise to sell. Ridiculous.

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What am I bid for this one-of-a-kind keepsake?



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