#1 2007-12-02 22:03:07
A very jaded redneck -- a or maybe a Central & Western PA 4-H mentorship:
According to the complaint, in the summer of 1999, Anderson had sex with the victim and then had sex with a pig, before telling the boy to have sex with the pig, too.
Two weeks later, the complaint said, Anderson had sex with a cow and then the boy. He later told the boy to have sex with the cow.
In the summer of 2000, the complaint said, Anderson had sex with the boy and made him dress in his mother's clothing.
I would love to see this evolve into a nursery rhyme.
Last edited by DoucheEllington (2007-12-02 22:03:33)
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#2 2007-12-02 23:24:22
Simple Sigmund was a pig man
Who loved little boys
Simple Sigmund made the young man
Play with his livestock toys
Said the young man to Simple Sigmund
Sir, I know not how
Said Simple Sigmund to the young man
Watch me with this sow.
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#3 2007-12-03 11:28:03
There once was a man from Pa.
Who liked to take boys for a roll in the hay.
He fucked a cow
And then a sow
But that doesn't make him gay.
Hi Douchey
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#4 2007-12-03 11:38:01
Would you like to play a game?
Hide the weiner is its name.
Can I hide it in your hiney?
I'm only 14 so it's still tiny.
Do you like it in a cow?
You can also do it with a sow.
Not in a sow;
Not in cow;
Not in a tree;
Now let me be!
I do not like bestiality.
Last edited by headkicker_girl (2007-12-03 11:38:46)
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#5 2007-12-03 11:50:39
headkicker_girl wrote:
Would you like to play a game?
Hide the weiner is its name.
Can I hide it in your hiney?
I'm only 14 so it's still tiny.
Do you like it in a cow?
You can also do it with a sow.
Not in a sow;
Not in cow;
Not in a tree;
Now let me be!
I do not like bestiality.
NIIIIIICE
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#6 2007-12-03 12:42:40
Bigcat wrote:
NIIIIIICE
Yeah, I was hoping that some-body would go the Sussein route.
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#7 2007-12-03 13:17:08
It disturbs me that some of you have reproduced.
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#8 2007-12-03 13:32:53
Taint wrote:
It disturbs me that some of you have reproduced.
I liked HKgirl's version immensely. If we had more poet-lawyers, then we might not have such a frivolous tort system.
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#9 2007-12-03 13:54:38
Briillant emmisions from all our twisted cruel kin.
Can we get them on a banner?
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#10 2007-12-03 14:02:56
pALEPHx wrote:
Taint wrote:
It disturbs me that some of you have reproduced.
I liked HKgirl's version immensely. If we had more poet-lawyers, then we might not have such a frivolous tort system.
Indeed... I vote HKG as our new resident poet-lawreate. Maya Angelou ain't got nuthin' on you, kid.
Last edited by whosasailorthen (2007-12-03 14:03:55)
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#11 2007-12-03 14:12:10
Decadence wrote:
Bigcat wrote:
NIIIIIICE
Yeah, I was hoping that some-body would go the Sussein route.
Sussein? Were these Poems of Mass Destruction?
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#12 2007-12-03 14:33:50
tojo2000 wrote:
Sussein? Were these Poems of Mass Destruction?
Fab.
Johnny Rotten wrote:
Can we get them on a banner?
Too wordy. Needs more cowbell.
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#13 2007-12-03 16:33:45
There was a boy from Pennsyltucky
With cows and sows he liked to fucky
Said he to a young friend
Can I stick my dick in your end
I think that would be just ducky
Last edited by fnord (2007-12-03 19:11:09)
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#14 2007-12-03 19:46:21
Me and my punk we fucked cows,
we fucked calfs, each other and sows,
but when I goatse'ed my pal
he screamed bloody hell
now I'm corralled in the local hooskow
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#15 2007-12-03 19:57:27
phreddy wrote:
Me and my punk we fucked cows,
we fucked calfs, each other and sows,
but when I goatse'ed my pal
he screamed bloody hell
now I'm corralled in the local hooskow
Good one....I'm just curious why it took so long, why the boy kept coming back for more, and where're the pics of him in his mom's clothes....
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#16 2007-12-04 20:45:33
The creativity & lulz in these poems touched me in a way only someone acquainted with people who fuck livestock can be touched: through a thick layer of emotional scarring. I need jabs from a sharp stick to feel anything.
If I didn't feel like a 30lb bag of bear shit, I'd break out the craft supplies and make some xmas tree decorations depicting simple sigmund, little boy goatse, & the cat in the jimmy hat. And a fleshducky for fnord...the whole thing has a horrible Matryoshka Nesting Doll feeling.
Hello Mr. Meow. BTW, I have it on the very best authority that "Clearfield sucks!"
And finally,
I'm not the pig fucker,
I'm the pig fucker's son.
But I'll fuck pigs
'Til the pig fucker comes!
Last edited by DoucheEllington (2007-12-04 20:47:32)
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#17 2007-12-04 20:49:54
30lb bag of bear shit
Never heard that one, no wonder they use bears in that toilet paper commercial.
Cudos for your take on the pheasant plucker ditty, though it doesn't present the same verbal dilemma as the original, which I've presented below.
I'm not the pheasant plucker
I'm the pheasant plucker's son
I'm often plucking pheasants
until the day is done
Last edited by Lurker (2007-12-04 20:55:30)
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#18 2007-12-04 21:17:52
Johnny Rotten wrote:
Can we get them on a banner?
Maybe a medley scored for oboe and kazoo...
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#19 2007-12-04 21:30:32
Lurker wrote:
Cudos for your take on the pheasant plucker ditty, though it doesn't present the same verbal dilemma as the original, which I've presented below.
I'm not the pheasant plucker
I'm the pheasant plucker's son
I'm often plucking pheasants
until the day is done
Oho, but the tongue twister we used as a warm up for some comm classes back at Great Big U presents a similar slippery slope:
I'm not the fig plucker
I'm the fig plucker's son
etc.
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#20 2007-12-04 21:58:54
DoucheEllington wrote:
Lurker wrote:
Cudos for your take on the pheasant plucker ditty, though it doesn't present the same verbal dilemma as the original, which I've presented below.
I'm not the pheasant plucker
I'm the pheasant plucker's son
I'm often plucking pheasants
until the day is doneOho, but the tongue twister we used as a warm up for some comm classes back at Great Big U presents a similar slippery slope:
I'm not the fig plucker
I'm the fig plucker's son
etc.
ok, you got me there...
The pheasant plucker version was told to me by a woman of Scottish decent.
I guess that explains it.
Although pig flucker doesn't quite work.
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