The teenage daughter of a friend of mine used to write short stories she would post on a fiction site.  A snotty critique of one of her stories by another teenage girl really pissed her off.  She posted that she would hunt her critic down, flay her, laugh at her while she writhed in pain and bled to death, and use her skin to decorate her room.  When I burst out laughing as the father was telling me about this, he told me he was only able to save his daughter from horrible consequences because of his father’s scary government connections and his lawyer mother’s promise to turn the lives of the critic’s parents into a civil suit nightmare if they dared pursue action against her granddaughter.


Yes, this was just a typical nasty verbal catfight between thirteen year old girls, but because it occurred online instead of in the hallway of a middle school, the life of my friend’s daughter could have been ruined.  The snotty critic’s parents were about to elevate a fight the girls would have soon forgotten about or gotten over into a criminal matter.  Were it not for the ability of my friend’s parents to seriously fuck over the people who threatened their grandchild, the girl could very well have been tried as an adult and put in prison.  My friend’s daughter learned a valuable lesson at an early age; never say nasty shit to other people on the Internet using your real name!

choad wrote:

Consult Choad's Guide To DIY Nasty, Chapter 14. As always, I am available for children's parties.

Unless the nastiness is directed at some nameless mustachioed boy banger?

MY Nasty Guide is the one you want to buy.

Fled wrote:

, , , which leads to the question, perhaps good for a poll, who among High Streeters (or the Cruel ones) would you choose if you wanted to cause someone both crafty and mean, to do your dirty work?

NYJ for male victims, R_T for distaff usurpers. George is too kind.

This reminds me that I haven't been to the rifle range in much too long.

Dahlgren/MSG. There has always been something about him.....

For crafty, Choad seems right.  He has managed to avoid henpecking local politicos for years.

There is a certain brutality about Bigcat that recommends him, I think.  Banjo is right about James II, who found humor is the most curious places.

NYJ probably hits both criteria, and ranks very high on the verbosely annoying scale as well, which might be a highly desirable quality in this market.

choad wrote:

Fled wrote:

, , , which leads to the question, perhaps good for a poll, who among High Streeters (or the Cruel ones) would you choose if you wanted to cause someone both crafty and mean, to do your dirty work?

NYJ for male victims, R_T for distaff usurpers. George is too kind.

I should resent this, but...yeah, I'm a wimp.

I would want alla the guys who regularly gas on and on about their guns.  I'd buy the bullets, guys!

Fled wrote:

, , , which leads to the question, perhaps good for a poll, who among High Streeters (or the Cruel ones) would you choose if you wanted to cause someone both crafty and mean, to do your dirty work?

If I could just force them to be roommates for a while, BigCat or Kathy is my vote. Otherwise, I think that Em would be the least suspected, therefore best to serve up a big dish of cold pickled revenge.

George Orr wrote:

choad wrote:

Fled wrote:

, , , which leads to the question, perhaps good for a poll, who among High Streeters (or the Cruel ones) would you choose if you wanted to cause someone both crafty and mean, to do your dirty work?

NYJ for male victims, R_T for distaff usurpers. George is too kind.

I should resent this, but...yeah, I'm a wimp.

I would want alla the guys who regularly gas on and on about their guns.  I'd buy the bullets, guys!

I would be happy to protect you Georgi, but I doubt you will be able to buy the bullets.  There are very few on the market these days.  Maybe we could borrow some from Homeland Security.  They have recently purchased billions of them.

Just realized that I too have committed the nomenclaturial sin of referring to "cartridges" as "bullets".

An AK-47 and a bucket of 7.69 123 grain bullets constitute a bludgeon and a boat anchor, respectively.