Hey! Colostomy bag/pocket pussy. That's it. Just control how it fills and I've got a winner.
Eat all day,
Fill your bag
Your warm treat awaits
Never on the rag.

Ok. My jingle needs some work but you get the idea.

I could follow with some semi-permeable bags. Sort of like what Skoal Bandits are made of for that "shit on your dick" crowd.