#1 2017-01-27 21:38:58

I ran out of Kraft boxes, so...



(All joking aside, this is total art. I felt like clapping at the end.)

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#2 2017-01-28 06:42:00

Perfect example of why I don't go to restaurants, since I can and do cook like that at home you can imagine what I expect when I go out to eat...


I'd love to have that cooking setup.

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#3 2017-01-28 07:33:15

Emmeran wrote:

I'd love to have that cooking setup.

No kidding; I wonder where he found his stove. It's like some jet plane lost its engine.

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#4 2017-01-28 07:44:43

Smudge wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

I'd love to have that cooking setup.

No kidding; I wonder where he found his stove. It's like some jet plane lost its engine.

You can get those at any hardware store, it's just a burner on top of a Propane tank (or line), they sell cheap versions for Turkey Fryers.  The recipe was pretty standard although since I have teenaged boys I tend to use more bacon and mix it directly in.  Mashed cauliflower added will smooth it out and add a silky texture.

of course he completely whiffed it by forgetting the cayenne...

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#5 2017-01-28 08:16:11

Emmeran wrote:

of course he completely whiffed it by forgetting the cayenne...

Cayenne? Surely you meant mild green chiles (preferably Hatch, but Poblanos or Anaheims in a pinch). I would consider it sacrilege to make macaroni and cheese without some form of green chiles.

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#6 2017-01-28 09:39:43

Smudge wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

of course he completely whiffed it by forgetting the cayenne...

Cayenne? Surely you meant mild green chiles (preferably Hatch, but Poblanos or Anaheims in a pinch). I would consider it sacrilege to make macaroni and cheese without some form of green chiles.

Cayenne makes the cheese pop in a big way, don't use so much that you can taste the cayenne but you will be happy with the result.

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#7 2017-01-28 09:50:14

I believe you. I put some form of red pepper in almost everything I cook.

Try one of those small cans of chopped mild green chiles that they have in the Mexican section with your mac and cheese next time you make it. I would do it in addition to the cayenne rather than instead of.

After all this chatting about it, I'm going to have to make some today.

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#8 2017-01-28 18:43:49

Now it's a fad with a name:Dopamine Diet


(Yes kids, animal fats are now back in favor and preferred over processed grain fats such as margarine and vegetable oil.  So stock up on lard and make sure your butter is 82% milk.  Eat to your historical genetics.)

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#9 2017-01-29 13:02:53

The Smoking Gun, cold smoked everything.  Including butter...yum.

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#10 2017-01-29 13:11:43

Emmeran wrote:

The Smoking Gun, cold smoked everything.  Including butter...yum.

That is the stupidest thing I have ever...um...wait...did you say smoked? Really?

Immediately jumping to extremes, I think: "What about smoked ice cream?"

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#11 2017-01-29 17:30:00

Anybody here like Indian food?  The videos seem to be endless.

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#13 2017-05-21 15:11:15

Breakfast burger with Emmeran & Melons  (Click for full size)

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/11_breakfast_burger.jpg

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#14 2017-05-21 16:15:36

Emmeran wrote:

Breakfast burger with Emmeran & Melons  (Click for full size)

https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/11_breakfast_burger.jpg

What's the green stuff? Peppers? Avocado?

Looks tasty.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by Smudge (2017-05-21 16:48:56)

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#15 2017-05-21 16:37:42

Smudge wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

Breakfast burger with Emmeran & Melons  (Click for full size)

img]https://cruelery.com/uploads/thumbs/11_breakfast_burger.jpg[/url]

What's the green stuff? Peppers? Avocado?

Looks tasty.

Green pepper ring with egg  (slice and clean a 1/2" thick green pepper ring, add to skillet with tab of butter, add egg.  Cook to desired hardness, flip to braise top and reflip onto burger)
Sweet onion
Tomato
Cheddar and Swiss cheese
Pepper bacon
Ground sirloin
Homemade bread (fry toasted in bacon drippings)
Season to taste

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by Emmeran (2017-05-21 16:38:53)

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#16 2017-05-26 21:46:03

This is the same guy who made the macaroni and cheese which I posted at the top of this thread. He's a showman, and his stuff is fun.

In particular in this clip, I like his method of making his own egg noodles without so much as a rolling pin. Nothing but his fingers:

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#17 2017-05-28 01:26:45

The very definition of this thread's title as well as another of the many "choice posts" from the Smudge-Meister.  Kudos. 
I've had superior camp cuisine over the years...nothing ever approached this level of "art"...would love to see him work his magic with entrails. 


Side note: Too bad those chivalrous SJWs, on the MAX, weren't packing heat.
Occasionally,  a royal waste of life sinks to  a "level" deserved of a triple tap.  Just sayin'. 


Smudge wrote:

This is the same guy who made the macaroni and cheese which I posted at the top of this thread. He's a showman, and his stuff is fun.

In particular in this clip, I like his method of making his own egg noodles without so much as a rolling pin. Nothing but his fingers:

Last edited by JetRx (2017-05-28 03:47:42)

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#18 2017-05-28 07:39:26

The production values are amazing and there is no talking - my favorite kind of show.

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#19 2017-05-28 13:38:04

Gorgeous filming.  Thanks, Smudge.

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#20 2017-05-29 09:53:04

I got a little chub just watching that. Food Porn indeed!

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#21 2017-05-29 20:44:31

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#22 2017-08-05 17:29:19

Ham, Egg, Avocado Salad on Boston Lettuce.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_avacadohamsalad.jpg

The chili heat made this one memorable.

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by Emmeran (2017-08-05 17:42:25)

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#23 2017-08-06 02:03:52

https://i.imgur.com/YGOcT6b.gif

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#24 2017-10-30 16:13:33

Simple, but they look delectable to my eye.

I've been watching this guy's clips for a while now. He has a really strange voice, but as a cook he's knowledgeable and no bullshit:

Orange & Milk Braised Pork Carnitas

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#25 2017-11-15 23:13:14

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/whocamefirst.jpg


~ click ~

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#26 2018-02-10 15:10:46

I've been making yeasted breads (pizza, focaccia, rolls, breads) for a couple of years now regularly. I've stopped buying store bought bread all together because it's so fast and easy and fun to make my own. Plus...you never really master any recipe (IMHO) until you've made it fifty times, and I'm probably past fifty times now on my basic bread -- so I'm starting to feel pretty confident in my skills. And I can whip out a bread recipe before I've even had my first cup of coffee -- I've done it so many times I don't have to read a recipe. My hands simply remember.

I've never made French bread, but I'm going to give it a try. The thing is...it's the exact same ingredient list as any other bread. The only thing which makes it different than other bread is an exacting control of technique. I've always been intimidated, but I'm feeling confident enough, finally, to give it a try.

As I started my research today, I came across this clip. I've used Julia Child's recipes in the past (I was a chef for many years, and put myself through college doing it, and I used Julia's recipes professionally as well) and I have found her recipes to be about the best out there. So...I'm sure that this is about as good as I going to find in terms of instructional videos. But it's also entertaining as hell, so I'm going to share it. It's worth the watch simply for the segment for where the master French baker (the one who teaches all of the other master bakers how its done) shows how to form the loaf.

Only the French would be so exacting in their bread making that they can actually tell you how many times the dough has been flipped over, or exactly how many razor cuts a loaf has to have -- no more; no less; it must be exactly three!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iH3hjDUhWw

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#27 2018-02-10 17:16:39

Filet Mignon with French Onion soup and hand made Caesar dressing...

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_filet.jpg

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#28 2018-02-10 17:17:33

Smudge,

Not being a baker myself I have gaps in my understanding of what importance ingredients make. Recently I was standing by the grain docks in Portland  where they bring down high grade flour grain from the interior. I was wondering what difference does the grain varieties make for gluten and protein content. And if it is important to seek out regional sources for different flours? What are the sources used in Europe these days, do they get hi protein flour from us?

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#29 2018-02-10 17:44:49

Johnny_Rotten wrote:

Smudge,

Not being a baker myself I have gaps in my understanding of what importance ingredients make. Recently I was standing by the grain docks in Portland  where they bring down high grade flour grain from the interior. I was wondering what difference does the grain varieties make for gluten and protein content. And if it is important to seek out regional sources for different flours? What are the sources used in Europe these days, do they get hi protein flour from us?

(Full disclosure; I've never been much of a baker; so this is new for me and I'm just learning the basics.)

Well...Julia gets into that if you watch the whole clip. She says that in America, basic unbleached flour is the closest thing to French flour. She recommends against using bread flour because it has, in her view, too much gluten. And her recipe shows classic French technique, and so using the ingredients which emulate their French equivalent makes the most sense. But I suspect you can use any of a variety of flours if you stick at it long enough, and learn how to adjust your recipes to the specific ingredients you have available.

My understanding is that pastry flour crumbles better (soft wheat) and so if good for tender crumb, and things like muffins. cake and pie shell, and that bread flour (hard wheat, high gluten) holds gas bubbles for a better rise. Our American all-purpose flour is a combo of the two to split the difference. I've been using unbleached, all purpose flour for years because I hate corporate food ( which is designed to maximize profits and consumer be damned) so I've merely been focusing on finding the least adulterated product. I add at least a little whole wheat flour to all of my baking because white flour is so tasteless, and even a tiny bit of WW gives a bit of a nutty flavor.

I don't worry about the protein content because I get all I need from a steady diet of one eared coyotes.

I wouldn't be surprised if Europe uses American and Canadian flour because we produce so much, so cheaply, but that's just a guess. I know nothing about it.

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#30 2018-02-10 18:41:36

Smudge wrote:

I don't worry about the protein content because I get all I need from a steady diet of one eared coyotes.

Melon's is all into this and I'll have her post an answer to your questions, it's really just a science thing with a touch of talent on top.  Depending on what you want from your bread you will or will not be concerned about the type of flour and the flavor of the yeast.  Milk vs water (and what type of water), sugars, eggs (and the freshness/temp thereof) all come into play.  Hell we spent two years on pancakes, flap-jacks and johny-cakes.  I don't even want to discuss the biscuit period....

It's like beer dude...

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#31 2018-02-11 09:42:41

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_recipefreestyle-frittata.jpg

Click for more freestyle guides

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#33 2018-04-07 10:56:41

Emmeran wrote:

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_recipef … ittata.jpg

Click for more freestyle guides

They didn't include the Spanish Tortilla? Potatoes, onions, maybe some jamon serrano and a couple of wild mushrooms?

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#34 2018-05-10 08:16:39

Capon!  It's what's for Mother's Day.

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_capon.jpg
~Click for Amazon pricing~

When the grocery store screws up and refuses to listen to you, you end up with a $70 bird for $8.75; I honestly tried to tell them but the manager wouldn't listen.
Manufacturer link:  https://www.schiltzfoods.com/Minowa_Capons_p/wac.htm

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by Emmeran (2018-05-10 08:17:28)

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#35 2018-05-10 10:14:28

For $70 that chicken better have been personally fucked by Gordon Ramsey.

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#36 2018-05-10 12:57:53

GooberMcNutly wrote:

For $70 that chicken better have been personally fucked by Gordon Ramsey.

Dude this isn't fried factory bird and waffles, this is hand raised Iowa Capon and I got it for less than a ten'r.   Somebody actually took the time to cut this guys testes out of his torso (birds hide their balls inside and only on one side for some reason).  This is true farm-yard bird allowed to range and eat bugs, worms and crap.

Remember - I only paid $8.75 for this magnificent bird and while you fantasize about G.Ramsey fucking factory hens I'll be feasting on top quality and hard to come by fowl.

Away with you and your bitter envy...!!

https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_capon-price.jpg

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

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#37 2018-06-22 14:41:28

Sometimes I sneak over to the other side of the tracks...

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#38 2018-08-02 14:20:32

The presenter is annoying, but I find the idea intriguing. I may give this a try myself; I use a lot of hot sauce:

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#39 2018-08-02 16:45:19

All the good hot sauces are fermented. Then aged in wooden casks.

Our local homebrew group has a guy that grows a lot of peppers and he always makes a gallon of red sauce with the dregs of the sour beer competition to kick off the ferment. It's a tasty concoction, but will carpet bomb your tongue.

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#40 2018-09-18 01:29:10

https://cruelery.com/img/SG_170918_01.jpg

Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs

Last edited by choad (2018-09-19 06:30:19)

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#41 2018-09-18 18:16:41

https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq9cs5qSaR1qzadkvo1_1280.jpg

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#42 2018-09-19 00:28:05

Smudge wrote:

The presenter is annoying, but I find the idea intriguing. I may give this a try myself; I use a lot of hot sauce:

Don't be burping, hie to the nearest wine making supply store and get a fermentation lock and a grommet that will make a seal in the lid for your  fermentation vessel.

Last edited by sharpshin (2018-09-19 00:28:43)

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#43 2018-09-19 20:49:23

sharpshin wrote:

Don't be burping, hie to the nearest wine making supply store and get a fermentation lock and a grommet that will make a seal in the lid for your  fermentation vessel.

I also recommend using a couple of sour ales fermented with lactobacillus and/or brettanomyces as a good source of the fermentation bugs. Another homebrewer in my club did that with a 3 gallon carboy packed with dried hot peppers from his garden and after a year in the back of the closet it was amazing. After another year it was even better. By the third year there was little left, but it was worlds above anything I've ever had in the store. I think he also smoked about 20% of the peppers over a dry oak smudge for a day before mixing it all together.

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#44 2018-10-03 13:51:13

https://66.media.tumblr.com/7237b6feb0ce811cc9c9c1262f1cc90e/tumblr_otfzj6Ztua1tas0x8o1_1280.jpg

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#45 2018-10-15 18:32:32

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer6.gif

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer5.gif

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer4.gif

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer3.gif

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer2.gif

https://s2.gifyu.com/images/Beergiffer1.gif

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#46 2018-10-15 19:26:50

...geez Louise !..aw now that's not fair.....

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#47 2018-10-15 22:02:22

I originally put this on the images thread, but it really belongs here.

Those are zuccini squash blossoms on the pizza, along with anchovy fillets, black olives and basil leaves.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/9597621d325859716f40b7c656cd239f/tumblr_p6tng9yPZ61r5rhxlo1_1280.jpg

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