Something tells me this would not be a story, if the caller had've started with: "This is Officer Joe Blow in the Salt Lake City public safety building, at the corner of 1st and main.  I'm stuck in an elevator, please send the fire department."

911 gets the whole situation in just two sentences. No need to call the city newspaper, or post the cringe worthy transcript on the internet. Maybe the guy was just trying to keep it together due to claustrophobia, or something.