#51 2008-03-06 22:31:07
choad wrote:
Produce a better topic title and you have a deal.
Just call it "Pussy Postings"
...or "Click Here for Pussies!"
Or if you don't want to arouse search engines, you could call it "Droll Feline Images."
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#52 2008-03-06 23:14:08
George Orr wrote:
choad wrote:
Produce a better topic title and you have a deal.
Just call it "Pussy Postings"
...or "Click Here for Pussies!"
Or if you don't want to arouse search engines, you could call it "Droll Feline Images."
Cheesy Catburger Anodyne
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#53 2008-03-06 23:17:27
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#54 2008-03-06 23:59:32
icangetyouatoe wrote:
WHo's for a sticky cat thread?
Sticky cats? Bleeecch. I'm just here for the lolcats.
Yeah, I enjoy this thread...keep it on top.
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#55 2008-03-07 01:03:20
How about "Pussy Galore"?
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#56 2008-03-07 07:22:45
cat recipes? First it was knitting, then recipes, now this? I approve.
Last edited by Lurker (2008-03-07 07:24:01)
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#57 2008-03-07 07:46:57
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#58 2008-03-07 09:36:39
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#59 2008-03-07 14:09:22
Good ol' icanhashighstreet.org
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#60 2008-03-07 14:39:01
I love this website.
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#61 2008-03-07 14:58:31
What's truly alarming is discovering just how many of us here are suckers for cute kitty pictures. I have to go look at photos of bleeding amputees now.
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#62 2008-03-07 21:53:04
Taint wrote:
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/8403 … ttyph4.jpg
What's truly alarming is discovering just how many of us here are suckers for cute kitty pictures. I have to go look at photos of bleeding amputees now.
Why is it alarming? Most of the cat lovers I know have nothing but contempt for the human condition....
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#63 2008-03-08 11:51:52
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#64 2008-03-08 13:58:24
A classic series of kitty pics:
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#65 2008-03-08 15:49:46
wasn't the one on the top right used for an Oingo Boingo album?
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#67 2008-03-08 16:58:31
Taint wrote:
What's truly alarming is discovering just how many of us here are suckers for cute kitty pictures. I have to go look at photos of bleeding amputees now.
No blood but self inflicted amps score extra points. Roll it...
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#68 2008-03-08 19:25:04
Not sure whether this belongs on the pics thread or here.
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#69 2008-03-08 20:17:25
the pussy thread, of course....
I love that song title, "Things are Soft for Grandma, Since Grandpa's 84"
Last edited by Lurker (2008-03-08 20:18:27)
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#70 2008-03-09 04:06:02
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#71 2008-03-09 12:17:09
that's just wrong, making the kitty wear that stupid bow....
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#72 2008-03-09 14:02:36
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#73 2008-03-09 23:48:09
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#74 2008-03-10 13:24:23
Lechero's Recipe for Kitten Mulligan:
12 small kittens, skinned, gutted and all cut up
1 pound butter or margarine
3 teaspoons salt
8 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped
8 medium onions, chopped
2 cup chopped celery
1 quart peeled tomatoes, chopped
2 (17 ounce) cans cream-style corn
2 teaspoons red pepper
4 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 cup bread crumbs
Cook kittens slowly in large pot with just enough water to cover their little carcass parts. Add butter and salt and cook until tender. Cool.
Remove meat from bones and return to stock. Add potatoes, onions and celery. Cook slowly until vegetables are tender.
Add tomatoes, corn, pepper and sugar. Bring to a boil. Simmer on low heat until bubbly. Thicken with bread crumbs.
Serve with green salad and garlic bread.
Serves 12
Last edited by lechero (2008-03-10 13:27:59)
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#75 2008-03-10 14:03:45
Canned cream corn? That's so gross.
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#77 2008-03-11 19:42:19
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#78 2008-03-12 02:21:56
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#79 2008-03-12 02:28:09
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#80 2008-03-12 02:41:06
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#81 2008-03-12 13:03:38
Fresh meat in Gummo, Iowa
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/03/12/cat.bo … index.html
Might be an opportunity for some lucky devil to open the town's new chinese restaurant.
Last edited by lechero (2008-03-12 13:05:08)
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#82 2008-03-12 14:04:02
Right, that'll work.
"You couldn't get a donation to save a cat in this town for the life of them," Trively said.
Since the bounty went into effect March 1, two cats -- one of them pregnant -- have been turned in.
And Mommy told the kids they were going to live on a farm. I filed several stories from Randolph when I lived in Des Moines and I like the place but that cat policy is doomed.
Sadly our puppy pitching Marine had the right idea when he said, "Usually what happens is we shoot them."
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#83 2008-03-12 19:47:54
More pitching puppies...
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#84 2008-03-12 23:50:03
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#85 2008-03-12 23:52:47
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#86 2008-03-13 19:00:56
DOG's DIARY :
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT's DIARY :
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously an ass licking retard.
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#87 2008-03-13 19:06:32
Poll for your email, Dusty.
Confessions of a cat sap...
To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell. To sit, to stare
Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt. To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there's the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten? Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor's yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
That run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.
Hamlet's Cat Soliloquy
Henry Beard, POEMS FOR CATS
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#88 2008-03-13 19:21:52
A while back the apartment complex decided to paint our doors, and my welcome mat mysteriously disappeared, and so my cat started sleeping on the neighbor's front doorstep that faces mine. He asked me to get the cat to move, so I resolved to get another doormat. It probably wouldn't have been such a big deal, but one day he got sick and horked all over their doorstep, so my neighbor reported me to the apartment complex.
Now I had a dilemma; even if I bought a doormat, the cat would probably keep sleeping on the one that smelled like him. I found the solution at http://personalizeddoormats.com. I now have a big, fluffy-looking doormat that I dropped a crapload of catnip on with these words written in giant letters: LAY HERE, CAT.
Nobody can accuse me of not trying, but I wonder if my neighbor will think it's funny or get pissed off.
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#90 2008-03-13 20:16:53
Last edited by Lurker (2008-03-13 20:40:45)
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#91 2008-03-13 22:07:08
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#92 2008-03-13 23:16:14
Make not false idols
Last edited by Johnny_Rotten (2008-03-13 23:18:06)
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#93 2008-03-14 01:27:21
choad wrote:
To go outside, and there perchance to stay...
Cat poetry! Cool!
The Galloping Cat
by Stevie Smith
Oh I am a cat that likes to
Gallop about doing good
So
One day when I was
Galloping about doing good, I saw
A figure in the path; I said
Get off! (Be-
cause
I am a cat that likes to
Gallop about doing good)
But he did not move, instead
He raised his hand as if
To land me a cuff
So I made to dodge so as to
Prevent him bringing it orf,
Un-for-tune-ately I slid
On a banana skin
Some Ass had left instead
Of putting in the bin. So
His hand caught me on the cheek
I tried
To lay his arm open from wrist to elbow
With my sharp teeth
Because I am
A cat that likes to gallop about doing good.
Would you believe it?
He wasn’t there
My teeth met nothing but air,
But a Voice said: Poor Cat,
(Meaning me) and a soft stroke
Came on me head
Since when
I have been bald.
I regard myself as
A martyr to doing good
Also I heard a swoosh
As of wings, and saw
A halo shining at the height of
Mrs Gubbins’s backyard fence,
So I thought: What’s the good
Of galloping about doing good
When angels stand in the path
And do not do as they should
Such as having an arm to be bitten off
All the same I
Intend to go on being
A cat that likes to
Gallop about doing good
So
Now with my bald head I go,
Chopping the untidy flowers down, to
and fro,
An’ scooping up the grass to show
Underneath
The cinder path of wrath
Ha ha ha ha, ho,
Angels aren’t the only ones who do
not know
What’s what and that
Galloping about doing good
Is a full time job
That needs
An experienced eye of earthly
Sharpness, worth I dare say
(if you’ll forgive a personal note)
A good deal more
Than all that skyey stuff
Of angels that make so bold as
To pity a cat like me that
Gallops about doing good.
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#94 2008-03-14 02:35:49
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#95 2008-03-14 03:15:09
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#96 2008-03-14 08:23:11
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#97 2008-03-14 21:57:18
Auto-edited on 2020-08-02 to update URLs
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#98 2008-03-14 22:51:55
Taint wrote:
choad wrote:
To go outside, and there perchance to stay...
Cat poetry! Cool!
Censored due to lack of good taste and all that's decent
WTF? Bad poetry, shit! What now? Are you gonna start posting pictures from CATS tm? What a fag....
Last edited by Lurker (2008-03-14 22:55:57)
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#99 2008-03-15 02:05:50
Holy shit, people, get ahold of yourselves. Cat poetry...on high street. I never thought I'd see the day.
You are all a bunch of pussies. (smile)
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#100 2008-03-15 02:12:39
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