#1 2008-04-21 13:03:21

A 1st Grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.  She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.  It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.  While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses until they stop running..
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new Math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed..
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you see in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.. 

And the WINNER and last one!   


26. Better late than Pregnant

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#2 2008-04-21 13:36:53

OMG - I can't believe it!!  I got an email just like that just the other day!!!

What are the odds ? ? ?


What is the responc to posts which degrade below the time honored asshat??

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#3 2008-04-21 14:12:56

Emmeran wrote:

OMG - I can't believe it!!  I got an email just like that just the other day!!!

What are the odds ? ? ?


What is the responc to posts which degrade below the time honored asshat??

Uhhhhhh...the asshat with earflaps?

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#6 2008-04-22 01:26:28

Well, I can't let you bastages suck the wind outta my sails that easily!!

This is a funny my wife's grandma shared with me my first year of teaching:

A first-grade teacher was showing the children pictures of common wild animals and asking them to name the creatures.   She came to a picture of a magnificent deer, which completely stumped the moppets.
"A horse?"  offered one.
"A goat?" tried another.
"No, no," replied the teacher.  "Think about what your mother calls your father."
"Oh, I know!" said Susie, brightly.  "That's a horny bastard."

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#7 2008-04-22 01:47:59

Asshat, hell. This goes all the way back to Art fucking Linkletter, 1950's TV.

http://cover6.cduniverse.com/MuzeVideoArt/66/249466.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/susanmhpublishersmarketplace/2006/mayHILLhouseparty.jpg

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#8 2008-04-22 02:12:22

sigmoid freud wrote:

Asshat, hell. This goes all the way back to Art fucking Linkletter, 1950's TV.

Art's still alive, incidentally. Tripping on acid, and jumping out windows, no doubt.

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#9 2008-04-24 12:54:10

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class
was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying
attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just
recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should
do about it.

He did and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his
desk with his 'private part' hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.

'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out
till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

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